4839Vitamin B-12 and a Happy, Happy Chanukah!
- Nov 30, 2013
"Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature."
- Marilyn Monroe
"Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner.
It ain't over 'til you both get your cookie."
- Alec Baldwin
* * * * *
Sometime before playing dreidel, and sometime after
lighting Chanukah candles, might I suggest an exchange
Of Vitamin B-12 gifts?
Got Vitamin B-12? If the Biblical Song of Solomon inspires
you, then you will most certainly be in good hands. I would
like to take this opportunity to merge science, religion,
and good health into one very inspirational and instructional
column based upon another chapter in the Good Book while
wishing you a Happy Chanukah!
From the Song of Solomon:
* * * * *
"Thy plants are an orchard of pomegranates, with pleasant
fruits; camphor, with spikenard, spikenard and saffron;
calamus and cinnamon, with all trees of frankincense; myrrh
and aloes, with all the chief spices...A fountain of gardens,
a well of living waters, and streams from Lebanon. Awake, O
north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that
the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his
garden, and eat his pleasant fruits. Open to me, my love, my
dove, my undefiled: for my head is filled with dew, and my
locks with the drops of the night.
His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips
like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh. His mouth is most
sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and
this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. My beloved is gone
down into his garden, to the beds of spices, to feed in the
gardens, and to gather lilies. I am my beloved's, and my beloved
is mine: he feedeth among the lilies.
I went down into the garden of nuts to see the fruits of the
valley, and to see whether the vine flourished and the pomegranates
budded. How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!
And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that
goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to
speak. I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.
Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine
flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates
bud forth: there will I give thee my love.
I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my
* * * * *
May God bless those wise prophets who without microscopes
or chemical laboratories were divinely inspired to write
about nature's most sensual source of Vitamin B-12.
If the Song of Solomon does not do for you what it does for me,
then consider this information, when pondering the Vitamin B-12
controversy. In 1996, Victor Herbert determined that Vitamin B-12
deficiency is rare among vegans, even though most do not take
supplemental B-12. His landmark work was published in the
American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, vol. 59(suppl), pp. 1213S-
1222S. Herbert wrote:
"To a great extent, B-12 is recycled from liver bile in the
digestive system...The enterohepatic circulation of vitamin
B-12 is very important in vitamin B-12 economy and
homeostasis...bodies reabsorb 3-5 mcg of bile vitamin B-12.
Because of this, an efficient enterohepatic circulation
keeps the adult vegan, who eats very little vitamin B-12,
from developing B-12 deficiency disease..."
Many of you believe that Vitamin B-12 supplements are
critical to the health of vegans. I believe this to be pure
Despite real science, the B-12 myth continues. If you feel
that you must eat B-12 (which is produced by bacterial
action), then buy organic carrots and be sure to eat the
unwashed roots. Washing will kill the bacteria, rich with
Vitamin B-12. If you dislike carrots...
@ @ @ @ @ @ @
Warning to my readers:
@ @ @ @ @ @ @
Today's column contains explicit sexual themes. If you
embarrass easily, or if your religious, moral, or ethical
beliefs prevent you from reading material of a sexual
nature, please, read no more. In today's commentary, I
discuss the science of sex in as dignified and delightful a
manner as I am able, sometimes using a bit of humor, but
continuously recognizing that such concepts may be offensive
to some people, so please, if you find such discussion
inappropriate, stop reading immediately. If you are easily
offended by material of a sexual nature, please exercise the
use of your delete button now.
For those so inclined to ignore the warning in the previous
paragraph and write nasty letters to me, see yesterday's column.
Although I do not expect Mel Gibson to follow his first graphically
violent pornographic movie with a second non-violent work of
pornography, please take note that the Holy Bible endorses oral
sex. To hate me for merging science and religion is to admit that
you reject both credible sources of information.
Without embarrassment, this is a subject that needs to be
discussed. I am past the point of being disgusted by know-
it-all vegetarian and vegan nutritionists and dieticians who
believe that one must take artificial supplements derived
from cow intestines, containing Vitamin B-12 in order to
maintain good health. The fact that vegans have B-12 in
their bloodstreams is evidence enough that we're somehow
obtaining it. Low dose, high dose, it really doesn't matter.
Fact is that we need just a few micrograms of B-12, and a
five-year supply is stored in the average human liver. That
fact alone negates the scare tactics of those who criticize
the pure vegan diet, or dispense supplements as a part of
their self-sustaining practices.
Vegan blood contains some B-12. In that, there is no debate.
Vegan semen and vaginal secretions contain many times more
Vitamin B-12 than does human blood.
The solution? Make love. Enjoy oral sex. The ingestion of
sexual body secretions from your lover will insure good
health for you.
In addition to the usual frogs, snails, and puppy dogs
tails, what are little boys made of? What exactly is in
Ten percent of semen consists of sperm cells, up to 500
million per ejaculate. It takes only one sperm cell to
fertilize an egg. I often wonder why the other 499,999 are
What constitutes the other 90% of semen? In addition to
enormous amounts of vitamins, enzymes, and amino acids,
semen contains up to 20 times the level of Vitamin B-12 as
does human blood serum. Vaginal fluids contain a similar
makeup, rich in B-12.
Scientists knew this 21 years ago, but had no socially-tactful
way to transmit this information to the lay person. (Yeah, I
know, you simply adore my use of the English language).
As early as March of 1984, Carmel Bernstein and a team of
investigators published evidence in the Journal of Clinical
Investigations (73;3, Vitamin B-12 in human seminal plasma)
revealing that blood has one-tenth the amount of B-12 as
does male semen.
Eight years later, the Scandanavian Journal of Clinical
Laboratory Investigations (Hansen, 1992 Nov;52(7):647-52)
determined that B-12 levels in human semen run as high as 20
times that of blood. Similar amounts of B-12 have been found
in vaginal secretions.
Second and final warning. For those of you unwilling or
unable to discuss or partake in the loving art of
cunnilingus or fellatio, read no more. What follows is
Many people have an aversion to oral sex because of the
taste or smell. Can that often be justified? Absolutely.
Long ago, in the days before artificial modern-day perfumes
and deodorants were used to mask human odors, people enjoyed
body smells. Don Juan would keep handkerchiefs under his
armpits and wave them in front of ladies' noses. That action
was designed to bring them to arousal from his own natural
essences and bouquet which contained pheromones, chemicals
containing natural sexual messengers that communicate
instinctual feelings shared by all mammals. Truth revealed:
Why does a male dog mount and hump a human female leg,
thrusting his pelvis as if in the act of copulation? It's
not because he smells your puppy, ladies. It's because he
smells your very own pheromones which trigger a genetically
pre-determined fixed action pattern in Fido's brain.
On to the olfactory bouquet from your own essences.
Dairy farmers know that if their cows eat onions or garlic
less than 30 minutes before milking, those powerfully
offensive smells will be included in their body secretions
which are then transmitted to their milk. A similar event
occurs with human body fluids. You are what you eat. Deer
know when meat-eating humans walk into the woods. Vegans
have a way with denizens of the forest. Vegans do not eat
other living creatures. Deer can tell by human smells. So
can dogs and other mammals possessing keener olfactory
senses than humans.
For many years, non dairy-using Japanese people called
Americans "butter-people," for the rancid smell that would
seep out of our pores. I can smell butter people. I am
amazed at the number of people calling themselves vegan who
are actually dairy users. I can smell the aftermath of pizza
24 hours after a vegan eats one by his or her offensive
odor. The mozzarella turns rancid from within. Its smell
lingers on a user's breath. Milk the cow and get the garlic
or onion milk. Milk the human and get Kentucky-fried chicken
Humans who eat meat ingest large amounts of sulfur-based
amino acids. That is one of the qualities of meat protein.
The sulfur becomes a part of their own smell and taste. Eat
large amounts of methionine and you'll taste quite rancid.
I have met many vegans who relate anecdotal evidence of how
other vegans make better lovers because they "taste better."
Where are Masters and Johnson when you need them? The good
that comes from this column will result in two lovers
enjoying a large meal of fresh pineapple before their next
bout of foreplay. Gourmets and epicurians of the world,
unite. Your next dose of love will contain the best vitamin
pill in the world. Was it Mary Poppins who sang, "Just a
spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"?
Remember, for B-12, make love, and do so with good taste.
* * * * *
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or
where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no
matter how bad it is."
- Barbara Bush
"Sex is God's joke on human beings."
- Bette Davis