Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

The "Robbyng Hoodie" (Notnumm and Shirewood) Fencibles.(Vol.1)

Expand Messages
  • Roger Willcox
    The First Notnumm and Shirewood Fencible Regiment of Volunteers , The Robbyng Hoodies . A History.  Origins. The Robbyng Hoodies claim that they
    Message 1 of 3 , Sep 18, 2010
    View Source
    • 0 Attachment
      The First Notnumm and Shirewood Fencible Regiment of Volunteers ,"The Robbyng Hoodies". A History. 
      Origins.
      The "Robbyng Hoodies" claim that they were raised in ancient antiquity (A junk shop on Beas-Done High Road). 
      Long ago in Valon`s third age, a group of orcs led by a disinherited nobleorc "boss" named Robbyng Hoodie gathered together a band of orc "outlores" (The Shire Reeve of Snotnumm had fobidden anybody to talk about them) in Shirewood, the largest forest in all Albion. (Most of which is now the Britornish Fleet!) These orcs, Vurtickley Challinged Jon, Fryer Muck, Will with the nasty red rash, Mooch the Miller`s son, Alunn Aerdale and a wench named Mud Marryorc joined Hoodie and swore to free the orcs of Shirewood from the cruelty of the wicked Shire Reeve of Snotnumm (now Nottnum) who lived in Snotnumm castle.He and his hench-orcs were not at all nice and generally rotten to everybody. Their idea of a good time was prising the last penny from the hands of poor orphans, burning folks houses, dumping little old lady-orcs into the duck pond,toughing up the needy and infirm and then having a good laugh about it all! 
      Sworn to the causes of freedom and the redistribution of wealth(in their direction) Robbyng Hoodie`s band robbed anybody they came across in Shirewood who loked like they might have some cash, merchants, Abborcs, the Shire Reeve`s thugs, Bishorcs and the like. (A full account " Ye Legendes of Robbyng Hoodie and hys `Orrible Orcs" by  Mr. H. Oliphaunt is available, price one shilling, from the Willorcs Arms, Coldgood).
      The "outlores" found a valuable ally in a poor "Nob" orc, Sir Perciboo Willorcs of Coldegoode, owner of the fortified manor "Willorcs Hall". Indeed  Sir Perciboo`s son  Tobykins married Slappa, the only child of Robbyng Hoodie and Maid Marryorc. As a result Sir Perciboo amassed great wealth nicked from the Shire Reeve of Snotnumm, the Bashup of Shuvell, the Abborc of Lentil and Prince Jonno by Hoodie whose band had grown rather large. Archers came from far and wide to join up and constant training, in between robbery, extortion and kidnapping, made them a formidable force. It also made the "peasants"of the villages of Shirewood wealthy too. In the unlikely case of a visit from the Shire Reeve they would hide their goodies, smear some muck on themselves and claim that they had no money because Robbyng Hoodie had pinched it all, thus avoiding tax. Hoodie was also willing to burn cottages to help with bogus insurance claims for a share of the dough.  
      Thus the descendants of Robbyng Hoodie`s band became the retinue of the now jolly important  Willorcs family, taking part in the "Bare-uns Wars" of ...ages ago, the " Gosh this war has gone on for a long time War" against Armorica and the brutal "Wars of the Noses". (See " The Great Big Book of Battles an` Wars an` Stuff" by Lord Rogipoos Willorcs, price ten bob, Willorcs Arms, Coldgood).The legedary skill of Shirewood`s archers, as evidenced at the bloody battle of Twoton in... a long time back..., put them in great demand and so  Willorcs required a high price for their services. 
      The Willorcs family prospered by making sure that their extremely expensive (but good value for money) troops always fought for the winning side. Legend has it that the Lords of Coldgood employed the services of a series of crazy she-orc prophetesses to achieve the knowledge of who was going to win. Mind you, any side employing the best archers in Albion did have a slight edge on the opposition!
      As the Fourth Age of Valon dawned and under the Twodoor dynasty Sir Gervaisipop Willorcs was made "Marschalle of ye Sort of Traynedish Bandes of Notnumm and Shirewood", a lucrative, hereditary position.This may have been due to the fact that the King, Hungry VIII, had six wives (all at the same time, greedy devil!) one of whom, Anna Cleavage (the others being Cathorc of Agony, Anne Bullying, Jane See-More, Caff Coward and Kathy Parforre-Decourse) was Gervaisipop`s neice (and a vey nice neice too!)
      The Nottnum and Shirewood trained bands were some of the first to be issued with  primitive "`Andgonnes", "Mustgets" and "Arsequebuses".The regiment consisted of two companies of archers, one of muskets, two of pike and one armed with swords and bucklers. There was also a company described as "Billorcs" who probably all had the same first name.(Not to be confused with "bollorcs" which are posts put in the road to annoy coachmen, "Bolucs" which are Otharmann cavalry formations of twenty, "Billooks", which you cut hedges with,"Bullocks" which are young bulls who aren`t bulls any more, or "Bulwarks" which are bits of ships. I think that covers everything. (See "The Compleet Albionish Dicshunry" by Dr. Bronson, 5 quid, Slaughterstone`s bookshoppe).
       These militia troops took part in repelling the attempted invasion  known as the "Catalucian Armudda" and also seved abroad in the "Chergogril Revolt" against the Catalucians and Ostarians. This close bond between the orcs of Shirewood and the rabbits of the Chergogril Provinces (now Burrovia) is still evident today, witnessed by Coldgood`s lively and industrious rabbit community.
      Though Albion was not directly involved in the "Furry Ears War" that raged across Urop for a jolly long time Lord Iggipop Willorcs raised a "volunteer" force of pikeorcs and musketeers in equal numbers, which fought alongside the rabbits and their Scandavian allies (led by the famous Juststarvus Adullfuss) against Ostaria. Lord Iggipop was slain at the battle of Lootson and his "volunteers" returned just in time to join in the "Albionish Uncivil War" of ... quite a while back, on the side of Crumbwell, Filofax and the Parlymentary, "Round Heads" (orcs) against King Chas I and his mercenary "Chavil (or pointy) Ears" (Elves). Lord Orlando Boverill Willorcs, his Regyment of Foote, now comprising two musketeers to each pikeorc, fought at Hedgeill (one all draw,Chavil ears win on penalties Prince Ruporc scores) 1st and 2nd Newtbury, Muckston Moor and Noseby.
      Before Noseby generals Crumbwell and Filofax had created the "Brand New Model Army". They decided to use Messrs Alternatives models rather than Gee-Dubblyou`s because the assistants in the Gee-Dubblyou shoppe were annoying spotty types who kept asking stupid questions. Anyway, they didn`t make the sort of miniatures that Crumbwell and Filofax wanted. They chose red as the army`s coat colour because they had lots of red paint and it looked nice. They then decided to do the same with the "Actual New Model Army" because red cloth was cheap (and it didn`t show the blood).
       Willorc`s regiment were issued red coats lined blue, with red breeches.
      Lord Orlando was one of the "Reggie`s side" who signed the death warrant of King Chas and was present when Reggie "one swipe" Crayfish (The public executioner,thus the name "Reggie`s side") chopped off the royal bonce.
      The regiment served in the second, or "not terribly nice" "Uncivil War" defeating Chas II`s "Chavil Ears" and Joccians at the battles of  Bertie-Wooster Source, Pressedon, and Dumbell, where Orlando was slain by an Irn-Bru bottle or "gingie" thrown by the Joccian Duke "Big" Alec ("ol` Gingie Whiskers") Gordon.
      It is interesting to note that the mother of the current Lord Willorcs was the great grand daughter of "Big" Alec Gordon.
      Orlando`s son, also called Orlando Boverill Willorcs (confusing isn`t it) better known as the "Mad Squire" saw that Crumbwell`s rule was far too harsh and boring with its "pour it on" (the "it" being misery, taxation and dullness) ways, so, in good family tradition he joined the exiled King Chas II in the Chergogril provinvces and persuaded the Royal personage to return to Albion escorted by the Willorcs Regiment of Foot. This was a jolly good move both for "The Mad Squire" and the regiment I can tell you!
      When Chas II died ...years back, he was replaced by the unpopular Jimbo II and Willorcs` regiment was sent to put down a load of peasant orcs led by the Dook of Monmuff in the region of Zummuzet and Debbun. The "Mad Squire" and his orcs spent most of the time drinking zider and chasing the local wenches which was popular because it was good for the local economy, unlike the predations of Capt. James T.Kirke`s "Lambs" (a sheep riding dragoon unit renowned for its enterprise when it came to cruelty and brutality). These were not at all poular and a trifle detrimental to the local economy and population.
      (The poulation of Zummurzet and Debbun did rebound about a year later, possibly due to the cordial relations betwween the local pesantry and Willorcs Regiment. Indeed Orlando, Boverill and Fitzwillorc are still common names in the area).  
       A group of nobs including Orlando Willorcs and Jonno Churchie (later the Dook of Marlboro Country) invited the Chirgogril Billie of Orung to be king because Jimbo was a really nasty piece of work. Willorcs regt. was part of the army that defeated Jimbo`s Guinelean bog orcs at the Battle of the Boing where they were positioned close to a large spring. From this point the pike was made pretty well redundant by the adoption of the "baynit".   
       Reorganisation.
      The "Elvish Civil War", the commencement of the "Ferache Revolutionary Wars" and the "Severed Ears War"  in Urop saw a shake up and modernisation of the Army of Albion. King Gorge told parlyment to create "Orseguards" which would oversee the running of the army. The Navy had the "Admirablety" which had run it for ages and seemed (apart from the occasional disaster) to be quite good at it,so why not do the same for the army?
      It was decided that regiments should be given a number instead of using the Colonel`s name which was quite a good idea because some Regiments with heroic commanders were rather fed up with changing their name after almost every battle because their c.o. had copped a bullet.Likewise  Rawbottom`s Foot who weren`t too chuffed at being referred to as the "Sore Arses".
      At the same time it was decided that local indivduals could raise volunteer militia which would be named after the region from which they were recruited. These were denoted as "Fencibles" (Infantry) or "Yeomorcry" (Cavalry).
      In Londinium, there had been, for absolutely yonks, I think since the time of Hungry VIII, the "`Orrible Artillery Company" which was made up of some rich City types in red braces, motto "Avarice is nice", who volunteered to purchase a few cannons. Likewise the "Sink Port Volunteers" who were raised on Albion`s south coast by King Hungry (They volunteered becaause they thought it was a drinking club) also had cannons. These two regiments provided the artillery force. This was later extended with the formation of the "Bare-Wick Volunteer Artillery" (named after the slow match they used) during the to protect the border with Joccia.    
      So it was that on a sunny Toosday, Orcgust 24th....just before grandad, "The Mad Squire" disappeared, the battleworn colours of Lord Willorcs` Regiment of Foot were paraded for the last time in front of the regiment,wearing their new uniforms. The flags were  then solumnly laid up in the armoury  of Willorc`s Hall where they still hang today. The regiment lay down its arms only to take them up again as their new colours were unfurled.
      "Orcs," Lord Orlando cried, "take up your arms and to your posts! Now orcs of Nottnum an` Shirewood, know ye that you fight as free volunteers, descendants of those who have shed their blood for King, Albion, Shirewood an` Willorcs! True sons of the "`orrible orcs" of yore step forth and recognise your new colours! Heads up, tums in, shoulders back, bullets between your tusks! Let your glazzies gaze upon the colours of.....The First, Notnumm and Shirewood Fencible Regiment of Volunteers! The "Robbyng Hoodies"! Huzzah!"      
      This was followed by the men cheering and throwin` their tricornes into the air. Gosh! I wish I`d been there! Jolly stirring! The band played the Regimental march, the well known "Robbyng Hoodie Song" (composed by Rickard Greenie) and everybody had an extremely good time!       
       End of Vol.1     
    • Tony
      Hi Rogipoos I have just sat and enjoyed your History of The Robbyng Hoodies (Vol. 1) - a truly monumental tomb and condensed history of the build up to the
      Message 2 of 3 , Sep 19, 2010
      View Source
      • 0 Attachment
        Hi Rogipoos

        I have just sat and enjoyed your History of The Robbyng Hoodies (Vol. 1) - a truly monumental tomb and condensed history of the build up to the Black Powder Wars.

        Very well done, I mean really well done and if you were to ever write a full and unabridged history of your adventures, I for one would be queuing up to purchase a copy(or two) at Waterstones.

        You have set a very high benchmark, one that I think we will all have difficulty in matching, but I'm up for it and will see the best man win at the end of October.

        Good luck and once again thank you for (accidentally) posting part one.

        Tony
        http://dampfpanzerwagon.blogspot.com/

        --- In notablemembers@yahoogroups.com, Roger Willcox <roger.willcox1@...> wrote:
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        > The First Notnumm and Shirewood Fencible Regiment of Volunteers ,"The Robbyng Hoodies". A History. 
        > Origins.
        > The "Robbyng Hoodies" claim that they were raised in ancient antiquity (A junk shop on Beas-Done High Road). 
        > Long ago in Valon`s third age, a group of orcs led by a disinherited nobleorc "boss" named Robbyng Hoodie gathered together a band of orc "outlores" (The Shire Reeve of Snotnumm had fobidden anybody to talk about them) in Shirewood, the largest forest in all Albion. (Most of which is now the Britornish Fleet!) These orcs, Vurtickley Challinged Jon, Fryer Muck, Will with the nasty red rash, Mooch the Miller`s son, Alunn Aerdale and a wench named Mud Marryorc joined Hoodie and swore to free the orcs of Shirewood from the cruelty of the wicked Shire Reeve of Snotnumm (now Nottnum) who lived in Snotnumm castle.He and his hench-orcs were not at all nice and generally rotten to everybody. Their idea of a good time was prising the last penny from the hands of poor orphans, burning folks houses, dumping little old lady-orcs into the duck pond,toughing up the needy and infirm and then having a good laugh about it all! 
        > Sworn to the causes of freedom and the redistribution of wealth(in their direction) Robbyng Hoodie`s band robbed anybody they came across in Shirewood who loked like they might have some cash, merchants, Abborcs, the Shire Reeve`s thugs, Bishorcs and the like. (A full account " Ye Legendes of Robbyng Hoodie and hys `Orrible Orcs" by  Mr. H. Oliphaunt is available, price one shilling, from the Willorcs Arms, Coldgood).
        > The "outlores" found a valuable ally in a poor "Nob" orc, Sir Perciboo Willorcs of Coldegoode, owner of the fortified manor "Willorcs Hall". Indeed  Sir Perciboo`s son  Tobykins married Slappa, the only child of Robbyng Hoodie and Maid Marryorc. As a result Sir Perciboo amassed great wealth nicked from the Shire Reeve of Snotnumm, the Bashup of Shuvell, the Abborc of Lentil and Prince Jonno by Hoodie whose band had grown rather large. Archers came from far and wide to join up and constant training, in between robbery, extortion and kidnapping, made them a formidable force. It also made the "peasants"of the villages of Shirewood wealthy too. In the unlikely case of a visit from the Shire Reeve they would hide their goodies, smear some muck on themselves and claim that they had no money because Robbyng Hoodie had pinched it all, thus avoiding tax. Hoodie was also willing to burn cottages to help with bogus insurance claims for a share of the
        > dough.  
        > Thus the descendants of Robbyng Hoodie`s band became the retinue of the now jolly important  Willorcs family, taking part in the "Bare-uns Wars" of ...ages ago, the " Gosh this war has gone on for a long time War" against Armorica and the brutal "Wars of the Noses". (See " The Great Big Book of Battles an` Wars an` Stuff" by Lord Rogipoos Willorcs, price ten bob, Willorcs Arms, Coldgood).The legedary skill of Shirewood`s archers, as evidenced at the bloody battle of Twoton in... a long time back..., put them in great demand and so  Willorcs required a high price for their services. 
        > The Willorcs family prospered by making sure that their extremely expensive (but good value for money) troops always fought for the winning side. Legend has it that the Lords of Coldgood employed the services of a series of crazy she-orc prophetesses to achieve the knowledge of who was going to win. Mind you, any side employing the best archers in Albion did have a slight edge on the opposition!
        > As the Fourth Age of Valon dawned and under the Twodoor dynasty Sir Gervaisipop Willorcs was made "Marschalle of ye Sort of Traynedish Bandes of Notnumm and Shirewood", a lucrative, hereditary position.This may have been due to the fact that the King, Hungry VIII, had six wives (all at the same time, greedy devil!) one of whom, Anna Cleavage (the others being Cathorc of Agony, Anne Bullying, Jane See-More, Caff Coward and Kathy Parforre-Decourse) was Gervaisipop`s neice (and a vey nice neice too!)
        > The Nottnum and Shirewood trained bands were some of the first to be issued with  primitive "`Andgonnes", "Mustgets" and "Arsequebuses".The regiment consisted of two companies of archers, one of muskets, two of pike and one armed with swords and bucklers. There was also a company described as "Billorcs" who probably all had the same first name.(Not to be confused with "bollorcs" which are posts put in the road to annoy coachmen, "Bolucs" which are Otharmann cavalry formations of twenty, "Billooks", which you cut hedges with,"Bullocks" which are young bulls who aren`t bulls any more, or "Bulwarks" which are bits of ships. I think that covers everything. (See "The Compleet Albionish Dicshunry" by Dr. Bronson, 5 quid, Slaughterstone`s bookshoppe).
        >  These militia troops took part in repelling the attempted invasion  known as the "Catalucian Armudda" and also seved abroad in the "Chergogril Revolt" against the Catalucians and Ostarians. This close bond between the orcs of Shirewood and the rabbits of the Chergogril Provinces (now Burrovia) is still evident today, witnessed by Coldgood`s lively and industrious rabbit community.
        > Though Albion was not directly involved in the "Furry Ears War" that raged across Urop for a jolly long time Lord Iggipop Willorcs raised a "volunteer" force of pikeorcs and musketeers in equal numbers, which fought alongside the rabbits and their Scandavian allies (led by the famous Juststarvus Adullfuss) against Ostaria. Lord Iggipop was slain at the battle of Lootson and his "volunteers" returned just in time to join in the "Albionish Uncivil War" of ... quite a while back, on the side of Crumbwell, Filofax and the Parlymentary, "Round Heads" (orcs) against King Chas I and his mercenary "Chavil (or pointy) Ears" (Elves). Lord Orlando Boverill Willorcs, his Regyment of Foote, now comprising two musketeers to each pikeorc, fought at Hedgeill (one all draw,Chavil ears win on penalties Prince Ruporc scores) 1st and 2nd Newtbury, Muckston Moor and Noseby.
        > Before Noseby generals Crumbwell and Filofax had created the "Brand New Model Army". They decided to use Messrs Alternatives models rather than Gee-Dubblyou`s because the assistants in the Gee-Dubblyou shoppe were annoying spotty types who kept asking stupid questions. Anyway, they didn`t make the sort of miniatures that Crumbwell and Filofax wanted. They chose red as the army`s coat colour because they had lots of red paint and it looked nice. They then decided to do the same with the "Actual New Model Army" because red cloth was cheap (and it didn`t show the blood).
        >  Willorc`s regiment were issued red coats lined blue, with red breeches.
        > Lord Orlando was one of the "Reggie`s side" who signed the death warrant of King Chas and was present when Reggie "one swipe" Crayfish (The public executioner,thus the name "Reggie`s side") chopped off the royal bonce.
        > The regiment served in the second, or "not terribly nice" "Uncivil War" defeating Chas II`s "Chavil Ears" and Joccians at the battles of  Bertie-Wooster Source, Pressedon, and Dumbell, where Orlando was slain by an Irn-Bru bottle or "gingie" thrown by the Joccian Duke "Big" Alec ("ol` Gingie Whiskers") Gordon.
        > It is interesting to note that the mother of the current Lord Willorcs was the great grand daughter of "Big" Alec Gordon.
        > Orlando`s son, also called Orlando Boverill Willorcs (confusing isn`t it) better known as the "Mad Squire" saw that Crumbwell`s rule was far too harsh and boring with its "pour it on" (the "it" being misery, taxation and dullness) ways, so, in good family tradition he joined the exiled King Chas II in the Chergogril provinvces and persuaded the Royal personage to return to Albion escorted by the Willorcs Regiment of Foot. This was a jolly good move both for "The Mad Squire" and the regiment I can tell you!
        > When Chas II died ...years back, he was replaced by the unpopular Jimbo II and Willorcs` regiment was sent to put down a load of peasant orcs led by the Dook of Monmuff in the region of Zummuzet and Debbun. The "Mad Squire" and his orcs spent most of the time drinking zider and chasing the local wenches which was popular because it was good for the local economy, unlike the predations of Capt. James T.Kirke`s "Lambs" (a sheep riding dragoon unit renowned for its enterprise when it came to cruelty and brutality). These were not at all poular and a trifle detrimental to the local economy and population.
        > (The poulation of Zummurzet and Debbun did rebound about a year later, possibly due to the cordial relations betwween the local pesantry and Willorcs Regiment. Indeed Orlando, Boverill and Fitzwillorc are still common names in the area).  
        >  A group of nobs including Orlando Willorcs and Jonno Churchie (later the Dook of Marlboro Country) invited the Chirgogril Billie of Orung to be king because Jimbo was a really nasty piece of work. Willorcs regt. was part of the army that defeated Jimbo`s Guinelean bog orcs at the Battle of the Boing where they were positioned close to a large spring. From this point the pike was made pretty well redundant by the adoption of the "baynit".   
        >  Reorganisation.
        > The "Elvish Civil War", the commencement of the "Ferache Revolutionary Wars" and the "Severed Ears War"  in Urop saw a shake up and modernisation of the Army of Albion. King Gorge told parlyment to create "Orseguards" which would oversee the running of the army. The Navy had the "Admirablety" which had run it for ages and seemed (apart from the occasional disaster) to be quite good at it,so why not do the same for the army?
        > It was decided that regiments should be given a number instead of using the Colonel`s name which was quite a good idea because some Regiments with heroic commanders were rather fed up with changing their name after almost every battle because their c.o. had copped a bullet.Likewise  Rawbottom`s Foot who weren`t too chuffed at being referred to as the "Sore Arses".
        > At the same time it was decided that local indivduals could raise volunteer militia which would be named after the region from which they were recruited. These were denoted as "Fencibles" (Infantry) or "Yeomorcry" (Cavalry).
        > In Londinium, there had been, for absolutely yonks, I think since the time of Hungry VIII, the "`Orrible Artillery Company" which was made up of some rich City types in red braces, motto "Avarice is nice", who volunteered to purchase a few cannons. Likewise the "Sink Port Volunteers" who were raised on Albion`s south coast by King Hungry (They volunteered becaause they thought it was a drinking club) also had cannons. These two regiments provided the artillery force. This was later extended with the formation of the "Bare-Wick Volunteer Artillery" (named after the slow match they used) during the to protect the border with Joccia.    
        > So it was that on a sunny Toosday, Orcgust 24th....just before grandad, "The Mad Squire" disappeared, the battleworn colours of Lord Willorcs` Regiment of Foot were paraded for the last time in front of the regiment,wearing their new uniforms. The flags were  then solumnly laid up in the armoury  of Willorc`s Hall where they still hang today. The regiment lay down its arms only to take them up again as their new colours were unfurled.
        > "Orcs," Lord Orlando cried, "take up your arms and to your posts! Now orcs of Nottnum an` Shirewood, know ye that you fight as free volunteers, descendants of those who have shed their blood for King, Albion, Shirewood an` Willorcs! True sons of the "`orrible orcs" of yore step forth and recognise your new colours! Heads up, tums in, shoulders back, bullets between your tusks! Let your glazzies gaze upon the colours of.....The First, Notnumm and Shirewood Fencible Regiment of Volunteers! The "Robbyng Hoodies"! Huzzah!"      
        > This was followed by the men cheering and throwin` their tricornes into the air. Gosh! I wish I`d been there! Jolly stirring! The band played the Regimental march, the well known "Robbyng Hoodie Song" (composed by Rickard Greenie) and everybody had an extremely good time!       
        >  End of Vol.1     
        >
      • Roger Willcox
        Hi Tony and everybody, Many, many, thanks for your kind words. As I said, Vol. 1 was posted by accident and Vol. 2 is pretty well finished along with details
        Message 3 of 3 , Sep 19, 2010
        View Source
        • 0 Attachment
          Hi Tony and everybody,
          Many, many, thanks for your kind words. As I said, Vol. 1 was posted by accident and Vol. 2 is pretty well finished along with details of un iform etc. This will take them up to the Valon "present day" along with details of their most notable actions  I have been working on a different regiment of Fencibles for the competion instead of the "Hoodies" because there is already a backstory for the Notnumm & Shirewoods that is fairly well known. All that I can say about the "Great Ferret Down the Trouser Leg Debacle" at the moment is that the "ministry of dubious information" has informed Rogipoos that if, because of the "unofficial secrets act" of... some while ago (paragraph 49, clause 25), he would have to shoot me if I tried to tell anyone about it. However the ruling expires soon so eventually the world will know the truth. Huzzah!
          Rogipoos has just finished reading about Torcy Bliar`s book " A Trip" in "The Thymes". Who knows, maybe, when he`s not gadding about on official (?) "stuff" he might sit down (getting him to sit still for 5 minutes is not at all easy uless there`s a BIG mug of cocoa and at least 3 ginger biccies involved, just ask Lady Alisorc!) and compose his "Life and Times (an` stuff)".
          Once again, I`m really pleased that you enjoyed volume 1. Vol. 2 will be along in a bit.
          However, must finish off painting this other bunch of brave chaps and finish their, much briefer, story.
          Cheers!
          Roger.
             

          --- On Sun, 19/9/10, Tony <dampfpanzerwagon@...> wrote:

          From: Tony <dampfpanzerwagon@...>
          Subject: [notablemembers] Re: The "Robbyng Hoodie" (Notnumm and Shirewood) Fencibles.(Vol.1)
          To: notablemembers@yahoogroups.com
          Date: Sunday, 19 September, 2010, 9:32

           
          Hi Rogipoos

          I have just sat and enjoyed your History of The Robbyng Hoodies (Vol. 1) - a truly monumental tomb and condensed history of the build up to the Black Powder Wars.

          Very well done, I mean really well done and if you were to ever write a full and unabridged history of your adventures, I for one would be queuing up to purchase a copy(or two) at Waterstones.

          You have set a very high benchmark, one that I think we will all have difficulty in matching, but I'm up for it and will see the best man win at the end of October.

          Good luck and once again thank you for (accidentally) posting part one.

          Tony
          http://dampfpanzerwagon.blogspot.com/

          --- In notablemembers@yahoogroups.com, Roger Willcox <roger.willcox1@...> wrote:
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > The First Notnumm and Shirewood Fencible Regiment of Volunteers ,"The Robbyng Hoodies". A History. 
          > Origins.
          > The "Robbyng Hoodies" claim that they were raised in ancient antiquity (A junk shop on Beas-Done High Road). 
          > Long ago in Valon`s third age, a group of orcs led by a disinherited nobleorc "boss" named Robbyng Hoodie gathered together a band of orc "outlores" (The Shire Reeve of Snotnumm had fobidden anybody to talk about them) in Shirewood, the largest forest in all Albion. (Most of which is now the Britornish Fleet!) These orcs, Vurtickley Challinged Jon, Fryer Muck, Will with the nasty red rash, Mooch the Miller`s son, Alunn Aerdale and a wench named Mud Marryorc joined Hoodie and swore to free the orcs of Shirewood from the cruelty of the wicked Shire Reeve of Snotnumm (now Nottnum) who lived in Snotnumm castle.He and his hench-orcs were not at all nice and generally rotten to everybody. Their idea of a good time was prising the last penny from the hands of poor orphans, burning folks houses, dumping little old lady-orcs into the duck pond,toughing up the needy and infirm and then having a good laugh about it all! 
          > Sworn to the causes of freedom and the redistribution of wealth(in their direction) Robbyng Hoodie`s band robbed anybody they came across in Shirewood who loked like they might have some cash, merchants, Abborcs, the Shire Reeve`s thugs, Bishorcs and the like. (A full account " Ye Legendes of Robbyng Hoodie and hys `Orrible Orcs" by  Mr. H. Oliphaunt is available, price one shilling, from the Willorcs Arms, Coldgood).
          > The "outlores" found a valuable ally in a poor "Nob" orc, Sir Perciboo Willorcs of Coldegoode, owner of the fortified manor "Willorcs Hall". Indeed  Sir Perciboo`s son  Tobykins married Slappa, the only child of Robbyng Hoodie and Maid Marryorc. As a result Sir Perciboo amassed great wealth nicked from the Shire Reeve of Snotnumm, the Bashup of Shuvell, the Abborc of Lentil and Prince Jonno by Hoodie whose band had grown rather large. Archers came from far and wide to join up and constant training, in between robbery, extortion and kidnapping, made them a formidable force. It also made the "peasants"of the villages of Shirewood wealthy too. In the unlikely case of a visit from the Shire Reeve they would hide their goodies, smear some muck on themselves and claim that they had no money because Robbyng Hoodie had pinched it all, thus avoiding tax. Hoodie was also willing to burn cottages to help with bogus insurance claims for a share of the
          > dough.  
          > Thus the descendants of Robbyng Hoodie`s band became the retinue of the now jolly important  Willorcs family, taking part in the "Bare-uns Wars" of ...ages ago, the " Gosh this war has gone on for a long time War" against Armorica and the brutal "Wars of the Noses". (See " The Great Big Book of Battles an` Wars an` Stuff" by Lord Rogipoos Willorcs, price ten bob, Willorcs Arms, Coldgood).The legedary skill of Shirewood`s archers, as evidenced at the bloody battle of Twoton in... a long time back..., put them in great demand and so  Willorcs required a high price for their services. 
          > The Willorcs family prospered by making sure that their extremely expensive (but good value for money) troops always fought for the winning side. Legend has it that the Lords of Coldgood employed the services of a series of crazy she-orc prophetesses to achieve the knowledge of who was going to win. Mind you, any side employing the best archers in Albion did have a slight edge on the opposition!
          > As the Fourth Age of Valon dawned and under the Twodoor dynasty Sir Gervaisipop Willorcs was made "Marschalle of ye Sort of Traynedish Bandes of Notnumm and Shirewood", a lucrative, hereditary position.This may have been due to the fact that the King, Hungry VIII, had six wives (all at the same time, greedy devil!) one of whom, Anna Cleavage (the others being Cathorc of Agony, Anne Bullying, Jane See-More, Caff Coward and Kathy Parforre-Decourse) was Gervaisipop`s neice (and a vey nice neice too!)
          > The Nottnum and Shirewood trained bands were some of the first to be issued with  primitive "`Andgonnes", "Mustgets" and "Arsequebuses".The regiment consisted of two companies of archers, one of muskets, two of pike and one armed with swords and bucklers. There was also a company described as "Billorcs" who probably all had the same first name.(Not to be confused with "bollorcs" which are posts put in the road to annoy coachmen, "Bolucs" which are Otharmann cavalry formations of twenty, "Billooks", which you cut hedges with,"Bullocks" which are young bulls who aren`t bulls any more, or "Bulwarks" which are bits of ships. I think that covers everything. (See "The Compleet Albionish Dicshunry" by Dr. Bronson, 5 quid, Slaughterstone`s bookshoppe).
          >  These militia troops took part in repelling the attempted invasion  known as the "Catalucian Armudda" and also seved abroad in the "Chergogril Revolt" against the Catalucians and Ostarians. This close bond between the orcs of Shirewood and the rabbits of the Chergogril Provinces (now Burrovia) is still evident today, witnessed by Coldgood`s lively and industrious rabbit community.
          > Though Albion was not directly involved in the "Furry Ears War" that raged across Urop for a jolly long time Lord Iggipop Willorcs raised a "volunteer" force of pikeorcs and musketeers in equal numbers, which fought alongside the rabbits and their Scandavian allies (led by the famous Juststarvus Adullfuss) against Ostaria. Lord Iggipop was slain at the battle of Lootson and his "volunteers" returned just in time to join in the "Albionish Uncivil War" of ... quite a while back, on the side of Crumbwell, Filofax and the Parlymentary, "Round Heads" (orcs) against King Chas I and his mercenary "Chavil (or pointy) Ears" (Elves). Lord Orlando Boverill Willorcs, his Regyment of Foote, now comprising two musketeers to each pikeorc, fought at Hedgeill (one all draw,Chavil ears win on penalties Prince Ruporc scores) 1st and 2nd Newtbury, Muckston Moor and Noseby.
          > Before Noseby generals Crumbwell and Filofax had created the "Brand New Model Army". They decided to use Messrs Alternatives models rather than Gee-Dubblyou`s because the assistants in the Gee-Dubblyou shoppe were annoying spotty types who kept asking stupid questions. Anyway, they didn`t make the sort of miniatures that Crumbwell and Filofax wanted. They chose red as the army`s coat colour because they had lots of red paint and it looked nice. They then decided to do the same with the "Actual New Model Army" because red cloth was cheap (and it didn`t show the blood).
          >  Willorc`s regiment were issued red coats lined blue, with red breeches.
          > Lord Orlando was one of the "Reggie`s side" who signed the death warrant of King Chas and was present when Reggie "one swipe" Crayfish (The public executioner,thus the name "Reggie`s side") chopped off the royal bonce.
          > The regiment served in the second, or "not terribly nice" "Uncivil War" defeating Chas II`s "Chavil Ears" and Joccians at the battles of  Bertie-Wooster Source, Pressedon, and Dumbell, where Orlando was slain by an Irn-Bru bottle or "gingie" thrown by the Joccian Duke "Big" Alec ("ol` Gingie Whiskers") Gordon.
          > It is interesting to note that the mother of the current Lord Willorcs was the great grand daughter of "Big" Alec Gordon.
          > Orlando`s son, also called Orlando Boverill Willorcs (confusing isn`t it) better known as the "Mad Squire" saw that Crumbwell`s rule was far too harsh and boring with its "pour it on" (the "it" being misery, taxation and dullness) ways, so, in good family tradition he joined the exiled King Chas II in the Chergogril provinvces and persuaded the Royal personage to return to Albion escorted by the Willorcs Regiment of Foot. This was a jolly good move both for "The Mad Squire" and the regiment I can tell you!
          > When Chas II died ...years back, he was replaced by the unpopular Jimbo II and Willorcs` regiment was sent to put down a load of peasant orcs led by the Dook of Monmuff in the region of Zummuzet and Debbun. The "Mad Squire" and his orcs spent most of the time drinking zider and chasing the local wenches which was popular because it was good for the local economy, unlike the predations of Capt. James T.Kirke`s "Lambs" (a sheep riding dragoon unit renowned for its enterprise when it came to cruelty and brutality). These were not at all poular and a trifle detrimental to the local economy and population.
          > (The poulation of Zummurzet and Debbun did rebound about a year later, possibly due to the cordial relations betwween the local pesantry and Willorcs Regiment. Indeed Orlando, Boverill and Fitzwillorc are still common names in the area).  
          >  A group of nobs including Orlando Willorcs and Jonno Churchie (later the Dook of Marlboro Country) invited the Chirgogril Billie of Orung to be king because Jimbo was a really nasty piece of work. Willorcs regt. was part of the army that defeated Jimbo`s Guinelean bog orcs at the Battle of the Boing where they were positioned close to a large spring. From this point the pike was made pretty well redundant by the adoption of the "baynit".   
          >  Reorganisation.
          > The "Elvish Civil War", the commencement of the "Ferache Revolutionary Wars" and the "Severed Ears War"  in Urop saw a shake up and modernisation of the Army of Albion. King Gorge told parlyment to create "Orseguards" which would oversee the running of the army. The Navy had the "Admirablety" which had run it for ages and seemed (apart from the occasional disaster) to be quite good at it,so why not do the same for the army?
          > It was decided that regiments should be given a number instead of using the Colonel`s name which was quite a good idea because some Regiments with heroic commanders were rather fed up with changing their name after almost every battle because their c.o. had copped a bullet.Likewise  Rawbottom`s Foot who weren`t too chuffed at being referred to as the "Sore Arses".
          > At the same time it was decided that local indivduals could raise volunteer militia which would be named after the region from which they were recruited. These were denoted as "Fencibles" (Infantry) or "Yeomorcry" (Cavalry).
          > In Londinium, there had been, for absolutely yonks, I think since the time of Hungry VIII, the "`Orrible Artillery Company" which was made up of some rich City types in red braces, motto "Avarice is nice", who volunteered to purchase a few cannons. Likewise the "Sink Port Volunteers" who were raised on Albion`s south coast by King Hungry (They volunteered becaause they thought it was a drinking club) also had cannons. These two regiments provided the artillery force. This was later extended with the formation of the "Bare-Wick Volunteer Artillery" (named after the slow match they used) during the to protect the border with Joccia.    
          > So it was that on a sunny Toosday, Orcgust 24th....just before grandad, "The Mad Squire" disappeared, the battleworn colours of Lord Willorcs` Regiment of Foot were paraded for the last time in front of the regiment,wearing their new uniforms. The flags were  then solumnly laid up in the armoury  of Willorc`s Hall where they still hang today. The regiment lay down its arms only to take them up again as their new colours were unfurled.
          > "Orcs," Lord Orlando cried, "take up your arms and to your posts! Now orcs of Nottnum an` Shirewood, know ye that you fight as free volunteers, descendants of those who have shed their blood for King, Albion, Shirewood an` Willorcs! True sons of the "`orrible orcs" of yore step forth and recognise your new colours! Heads up, tums in, shoulders back, bullets between your tusks! Let your glazzies gaze upon the colours of.....The First, Notnumm and Shirewood Fencible Regiment of Volunteers! The "Robbyng Hoodies"! Huzzah!"      
          > This was followed by the men cheering and throwin` their tricornes into the air. Gosh! I wish I`d been there! Jolly stirring! The band played the Regimental march, the well known "Robbyng Hoodie Song" (composed by Rickard Greenie) and everybody had an extremely good time!       
          >  End of Vol.1     
          >

        Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.