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NewYearsSpirit

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  • John Vandermeulen
    An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he
    Message 1 of 5 , Dec 28, 2001
      An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of
      Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one
      in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three
      more.
      The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a pint goes
      flat after I draw it, and it would taste better if you bought one at a
      time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is
      in America, the other is in Australia, and I'm in Dublin. When we all
      left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we
      drank together. So I drink one for each o'me brothers and one for me self."

      The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it
      there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drink the
      same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he
      comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars take notice and fall
      silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender
      says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
      condolences on your loss."
      The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he
      laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," He explains, "It's just that me
      wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't
      affected me brothers though."
    • Ian Macsween
      If Tony A. is listenening in - as you are the moderator - would I get kicked out of the group if I told an even worse one than John V. just did? Ian ... From:
      Message 2 of 5 , Dec 28, 2001
        If Tony A. is listenening in - as you are the moderator - would I get kicked
        out of the group if I told an even worse one than John V. just did? Ian
        ----- Original Message -----
        From: "John Vandermeulen" <vandermeulen@...>
        To: "new distillers" <new_distillers@yahoogroups.com>
        Sent: Friday, December 28, 2001 9:23 AM
        Subject: [new_distillers] NewYearsSpirit


        >
        >
        > An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of
        > Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one
        > in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three
        > more.
        > The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a pint goes
        > flat after I draw it, and it would taste better if you bought one at a
        > time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One
        is
        > in America, the other is in Australia, and I'm in Dublin. When we all
        > left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we
        > drank together. So I drink one for each o'me brothers and one for me
        self."
        >
        > The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it
        > there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drink the
        > same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he
        > comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars take notice and
        fall
        > silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender
        > says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
        > condolences on your loss."
        > The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he
        > laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," He explains, "It's just that me
        > wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't
        > affected me brothers though."
        >
        >
        >
        > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
        > new_distillers-unsubscribe@onelist.com
        >
        >
        >
        > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
        >
        >
      • Tony & Elle Ackland
        ... kicked ... nah - only sheep jokes will do that for ya - aint that right Pilch ... As long as its about distilling, then shes fair game for the group
        Message 3 of 5 , Dec 29, 2001
          > If Tony A. is listenening in - as you are the moderator - would I get
          kicked
          > out of the group if I told an even worse one than John V. just did? Ian

          <grin> nah - only sheep jokes will do that for ya - aint that right Pilch
          :)
          As long as its about distilling, then shes fair game for the group i
          reckon. Just keep em somewhat clean - theres a broad base of different
          members here.

          Tony
        • Ian Macsween
          Okay Tony - here goes! People who have already heard this story please click on the delete button! A prospector in the Australian Outback walks into a bar
          Message 4 of 5 , Dec 29, 2001
            Okay Tony - here goes! People who have already heard this story please
            click on the "delete" button!

            A prospector in the Australian Outback walks into a bar accompanied by a cat
            and an ostrich.

            The three of them sit down at the bar and the prospector says "Gimme a beer,
            mate!" The ostrich says "I'll have one also, mate!" The cat says "Same for
            me, but be damned if I'm paying!"

            The bartender says "That will be $5.35". The prospector dips into his
            pocket and produces the exact amount of the tab.

            This continues all evening with the ostrich amiably agreeing with the
            prospector's order and the cat emphatically saying "I ain't paying!" On
            each round the prospector pulls the exact amount of change out of his
            pocket.

            At last call, the prospector orders a single malt Scotch whisky, the ostrich
            also, and the cat says "Me too - but I ain't paying!"

            The barman brings the drinks and informs them that the cost of the round is
            $17.61 - again the prospector dips into his pocket and produces the exact
            change.

            Astonished, the barman says "How do you do that?"

            The prospector replied "I was in the Outback and found a bottle, I rubbed it
            and a genie appeared. The genie granted me two wishes - so I said that I
            would always like to have the correct amount of money in my pocket for
            anything that I bought."

            "Yes" said the barman - "and what was your second wish?"

            The prospector replied "I asked for a long legged bird with a tight pussy!"


            ----- Original Message -----
            From: "Tony & Elle Ackland" <Tony.Ackland@...>
            To: "'New Distillers newsgroup'" <new_distillers@yahoogroups.com>
            Sent: Saturday, December 29, 2001 11:57 AM
            Subject: RE: [new_distillers] NewYearsSpirit


            > > If Tony A. is listenening in - as you are the moderator - would I get
            > kicked
            > > out of the group if I told an even worse one than John V. just did? Ian
            >
            > <grin> nah - only sheep jokes will do that for ya - aint that right Pilch
            > :)
            > As long as its about distilling, then shes fair game for the group i
            > reckon. Just keep em somewhat clean - theres a broad base of different
            > members here.
            >
            > Tony
            >
            >
            >
            > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
            > new_distillers-unsubscribe@onelist.com
            >
            >
            >
            > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
            >
            >
          • klcampbell
            Happy New Year to All,Hey Ian,not too many Ostriches wandering around in the outback but plenty of EMU s,they still have long legs mate but bloody
            Message 5 of 5 , Jan 1, 2002
              Happy New Year to All,Hey Ian,not too many Ostriches wandering around in the
              outback but plenty of EMU's,they still have long legs mate but bloody
              ugly,TTFN,Ken.
              ----- Original Message -----
              From: "Ian Macsween" <ianelamacsween@...>
              To: <new_distillers@yahoogroups.com>
              Sent: Sunday, 30 December 2001 9:08
              Subject: Re: [new_distillers] NewYearsSpirit


              > Okay Tony - here goes! People who have already heard this story please
              > click on the "delete" button!
              >
              > A prospector in the Australian Outback walks into a bar accompanied by a
              cat
              > and an ostrich.
              >
              > The three of them sit down at the bar and the prospector says "Gimme a
              beer,
              > mate!" The ostrich says "I'll have one also, mate!" The cat says "Same
              for
              > me, but be damned if I'm paying!"
              >
              > The bartender says "That will be $5.35". The prospector dips into his
              > pocket and produces the exact amount of the tab.
              >
              > This continues all evening with the ostrich amiably agreeing with the
              > prospector's order and the cat emphatically saying "I ain't paying!" On
              > each round the prospector pulls the exact amount of change out of his
              > pocket.
              >
              > At last call, the prospector orders a single malt Scotch whisky, the
              ostrich
              > also, and the cat says "Me too - but I ain't paying!"
              >
              > The barman brings the drinks and informs them that the cost of the round
              is
              > $17.61 - again the prospector dips into his pocket and produces the exact
              > change.
              >
              > Astonished, the barman says "How do you do that?"
              >
              > The prospector replied "I was in the Outback and found a bottle, I rubbed
              it
              > and a genie appeared. The genie granted me two wishes - so I said that I
              > would always like to have the correct amount of money in my pocket for
              > anything that I bought."
              >
              > "Yes" said the barman - "and what was your second wish?"
              >
              > The prospector replied "I asked for a long legged bird with a tight
              pussy!"
              >
              >
              > ----- Original Message -----
              > From: "Tony & Elle Ackland" <Tony.Ackland@...>
              > To: "'New Distillers newsgroup'" <new_distillers@yahoogroups.com>
              > Sent: Saturday, December 29, 2001 11:57 AM
              > Subject: RE: [new_distillers] NewYearsSpirit
              >
              >
              > > > If Tony A. is listenening in - as you are the moderator - would I get
              > > kicked
              > > > out of the group if I told an even worse one than John V. just did?
              Ian
              > >
              > > <grin> nah - only sheep jokes will do that for ya - aint that right
              Pilch
              > > :)
              > > As long as its about distilling, then shes fair game for the group i
              > > reckon. Just keep em somewhat clean - theres a broad base of different
              > > members here.
              > >
              > > Tony
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
              > > new_distillers-unsubscribe@onelist.com
              > >
              > >
              > >
              > > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to
              http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
              > >
              > >
              >
              >
              >
              >
              > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
              > new_distillers-unsubscribe@onelist.com
              >
              >
              >
              > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
              >
              >
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