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40914Fwd: Holy Humor
- JSFrog65@...Jul 29, 2014
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From: K Shultz <k_dshultz@...>
Sent: Tue, Jul 29, 2014 8:33 pm
Subject: FW: Holy Humor
During these serious and troubled times, people of all
faiths should remember these four great religious
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope
as the leader of the Christian world.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the
story of the Good Samaritan.
She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I
think I'd throw up."
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think
Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two
THE LORD IS MY
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young
class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She
gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited
about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice,
he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite
Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his
turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my
Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her
father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his
sermon. One day, she asked him why.
"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was
so observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good
"How come He doesn't answer it?" she
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So
your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable.
What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in
ALL MEN / ALL
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime
prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal
(current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly
prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls."
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to
include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli,
why do you always add the part about all girls?"
Her response, "Because everybody always finish their
prayers by saying 'All Men'!
SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner
at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food
was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating
"Johnny! Please wait until we say our
prayer." said his mother.
"I don't need to," the boy
"Of course, you do "his mother insisted.
"We always say a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is
Grandma's house and she knows how to cook.
Did you know that... When you carry the Bible, Satan
has a headache. When you open it, he collapses. When he sees you reading it,
he faints. Let's read the Bible every day so he keeps on fainting. Maybe one
day he'll have a stroke and never wake up. And did you also know that when you
are about to forward this email to others the devil will discourage you but
forward it anyway.