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Top Ten Ways To Get Tolkien Fans Ticked Off

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  • David Bratman
    Diana Glyer forwarded this by one of her students: Top Ten Ways To Get Tolkien Fans Ticked Off by Stephen Bobbett 10. Use the most asinine pronunciation of
    Message 1 of 2 , Feb 14, 2005
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      Diana Glyer forwarded this by one of her students:

      Top Ten Ways To Get Tolkien Fans Ticked Off
      by Stephen Bobbett

      10. Use the most asinine pronunciation of Tolkien with unflinching
      certainty. If possible, incorporate a third syllable.
      9. Ask if Lothlórien is where the Elves make their cookies.
      8. Refer frequently to the Midgets of the Shire.
      7. Complain about any of the following: the ending's too long, you can't
      keep track of all the weird names, you don't know how to read, etc.
      6. When anyone mentions Dwarves, sing songs from Snow White.
      5. Learn to speak Elvish fluently. But only the dirty words.
      4. Interchange Saruman and Sauron in conversation. When someone corrects
      you, keep doing it.
      3. Ask two people simultaneously who Tom Bombadil is. It's like tying two
      cats together and throwing them over a clothesline.
      2. Insist that The Lord of the Rings is an allegory for World War II.
      And finally,
      1. No, thanks. I saw the movies. I don't need to read the books.
    • Mike Foster
      Ask Are the books as good as the movies? Thanks, Diana & David, Mike ... [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      Message 2 of 2 , Feb 14, 2005
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        Ask "Are the books as good as the movies?"

        Thanks, Diana & David,
        Mike

        David Bratman wrote:

        >Diana Glyer forwarded this by one of her students:
        >
        >Top Ten Ways To Get Tolkien Fans Ticked Off
        >by Stephen Bobbett
        >
        >10. Use the most asinine pronunciation of Tolkien with unflinching
        >certainty. If possible, incorporate a third syllable.
        >9. Ask if Lothlórien is where the Elves make their cookies.
        >8. Refer frequently to the Midgets of the Shire.
        >7. Complain about any of the following: the ending's too long, you can't
        >keep track of all the weird names, you don't know how to read, etc.
        >6. When anyone mentions Dwarves, sing songs from Snow White.
        >5. Learn to speak Elvish fluently. But only the dirty words.
        >4. Interchange Saruman and Sauron in conversation. When someone corrects
        >you, keep doing it.
        >3. Ask two people simultaneously who Tom Bombadil is. It's like tying two
        >cats together and throwing them over a clothesline.
        >2. Insist that The Lord of the Rings is an allegory for World War II.
        >And finally,
        >1. No, thanks. I saw the movies. I don't need to read the books.
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >The Mythopoeic Society website http://www.mythsoc.org
        >Yahoo! Groups Links
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        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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