13700Top Ten Ways To Get Tolkien Fans Ticked Off
- Feb 14, 2005Diana Glyer forwarded this by one of her students:
Top Ten Ways To Get Tolkien Fans Ticked Off
by Stephen Bobbett
10. Use the most asinine pronunciation of Tolkien with unflinching
certainty. If possible, incorporate a third syllable.
9. Ask if Lothlórien is where the Elves make their cookies.
8. Refer frequently to the Midgets of the Shire.
7. Complain about any of the following: the ending's too long, you can't
keep track of all the weird names, you don't know how to read, etc.
6. When anyone mentions Dwarves, sing songs from Snow White.
5. Learn to speak Elvish fluently. But only the dirty words.
4. Interchange Saruman and Sauron in conversation. When someone corrects
you, keep doing it.
3. Ask two people simultaneously who Tom Bombadil is. It's like tying two
cats together and throwing them over a clothesline.
2. Insist that The Lord of the Rings is an allegory for World War II.
1. No, thanks. I saw the movies. I don't need to read the books.
- Next post in topic >>