Re Problems converts are faced with....v important
Khalid, I admire you for being stronger than that and not letting go of the guidance that Islam brings.
Around 8 years ago I walked into a Shia' masjid and became Shia', within a couple of weeks I felt that what I was experiencing under "Islam" (Shi'ism) was no different than Christianity and I felt that I may as well go back to Christianity if I'm going to be following falsehood. I come from a stricter tradition than Catholicism and that would be the Greek Orthodox church.
Being raised with the Greek language I was able to learn Greek and to an extent understand Koine Greek (Greek in the New Testament). As a result of my Greek Orthodox upbringing I still know more about Christianity than I do about Islam to this day. It must be understood on many levels why the New Testament is what it is. I'm not going to go into the details of the different versions of the Bible (but it is an important to know), I will stick to the basics though and give you the info needed to be known on the New Testament that makes it the unreliable book that it is.
1)There are over 33,000 known manuscripts that were written shortly after the time of Jesus Christ (PBUH) that were attributed to the 12 disciples (and many others) as Gospels. For whatever reason almost all of them have been considered fabricated and therefore not authentic.
2. The New Testament was written in Koine Greek: The Greek spoken among Greeks in mainland Greece during the time of Jesus Christ (PBUH).
3. There are Four Gospels currently in the New Testament... and they're all according to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
a) Who were Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John? Several things were assumed about them centuries later, but what it boils down to is that there is no creditted evidence that proves these assumptions. None! Over all, we have no idea who they were and if they ever knew or met Christ (or anyone he knew).
b) Why are there just 4 Gospels when there have been at least 33,000 written? The answer to that is simply because of the fact that the 4 current gospels are the ones that contradict each other the least (despite there still being contradictions amongst them). The Church Fathers as they are called gathered up together at the Counsil of Nicea and decided to compile to Bible the way it ended up being compiled at the time. Sadly, some Christians to this day are completely dellusional and living in complete denial of the fact that this occured over 300 years after Christ.
4. Trinitarian idealogy is nothing new. It exists in Hinduism, and nowhere in the Old Testament is there such a suggestion that God (Allah) is a triune force. This points out the fact that since the Greek/Roman empire had been extended all the way to India that they had influences of other religions of their subjects, which goes to show you that hindu trinitarion belief snuck its way into Christianity.
5. The oldest known manuscripts found of the New Testament are from a century after Christ and differ substantially from what we find written in them today.
6. Some historians suggest that Greek was the international language of trade, which is why the New Testament was written in Greek. However, Greek spoken in Jerusalem was of a different dialect than what was spoken among Greeks. Historians insist that Jesus (PBUH) spoke Aramaic, but if he ever spoke Greek it would have been in the dialect of his locality. The relevance behind this concern is that when the New Testament was written it was written in the mainland Koine Greek spoken at the time by actual Greeks (in Greece). So clearly the New Testament was never written verbatum by the words of Christ (PBUH).
7. No matter how many versions of the Bible and no matter how many thousands of manuscripts exist, NONE of them have been attributed the Jesus Christ (PBUH). The question is why don't have the Gospel of Jesus Christ?
8. Finally, the word Gospel itself is not even accurate as what it's actually called in Greek is "Evaggelio", which means "The Gift of Good News".
Anyhow... I will continue with a brief insite of my experience.
After having left Shi'ism I went back to being Christian, and I was still feeling the pull toward Islam. After meeting a good group of guys who were proper Muslims I found the pull bringing me in even closer. I started identifying myself as a Muslim and started to fast as well as pray. I finally declared my Shahadah in February 2005 al hamdulillah! Naturally though, I did A LOT of mistakes though and my friends didn't want to overwhelm me with all this extra stuff, so they kept their quiet and gradually brought things to my attention. Several times I would have a stranger approach me to correct me and my friend would advise the stranger that I was fairly new and not to come down on me so hard.
I remember at the time when I first started going into Islam (post Shi'a phase) I was dating this girl. She wasn't Muslim and she wasn't interested in it either. All she ever did was criticize me for my changes, kept on making fun of my friends, and tried to manipulate me into not going further with my interest in Islam. I was almost 20 years old and quite stubborn and wanted "have my cake and eat it too" as they say, but by the will of God (Allah) the relationship had gone down hill and she was out of my life shortly after.
I have to give you kudos as well on the fact that are able to honestly say that you left Islam due to worldy pressures. I've known another brother who left Islam and went on to explore other ideas and al hamdulillah he returned recently. His case was due to lack of knowledge. Anyone whoever claims to leave Islam typically does so due to the dunya. Some may due so unwillingly due to the pressure from family, friends, work...etc Others will do so willingly because they would rather be arrogant and drink alcohol and fornicate (for example). Due to their arrogance though, they don't admit that it's out of worldy desires.
I really feel you on the whole waking up for fajr deal. To this day I feel exhausted and tired at the time that I have to get up for it (during the summers). The difference between you and I though is I would go back to bed shortly after and wake up when I would really need to, unless I was fully awake and couldn't go back to sleep (I would find something constructive to with my time). If I start to get tired hours later, I take a nap during the day after work.
With low blood sugar, I have a similar case there, but different. Instead, I get really bad migraines that require me to take specially prescribed medication. If I don't take the medication, these migraines increase and get as bad as a feeling where my body feels like shutting down and I start to feel like fainting. If I ever get these migraines while fasting, I take my medication and make up my fast another day. Technically the human body can go 3-4 days without food and water, so to go without that from Dawn until Dusk shouldn't be such a challenge. Despite having to go without food and water, I find that fasting is probably the easiest part about Ramadan; the real challenge is avoiding the haram. If you're also that concerned about your blood sugar, you should see a doctor and see if you're capable to fast. If you're not able to fast due to health problems, you probably shouldn't be fasting. Fasting should not leave you feeling sick.
As far as your prayers go in not being able to keep up with them; maybe find another job? Or even better yet, if you live in a country where the laws leave the employer obligated to honor religious requirements for their employees, then use that law to your advantage. Most government jobs are unionized and union reps are also there to defend an employee's rights as well. See what you can do with that. Remember, you work for the government here and if the government you're employed by can't honor their own laws in religious freedom, then you have a strong media case ;)
As far as your wife goes. Remember one thing, Islam allows men to marry Christian and Jewish women without the requirement on the Christian or Jewish women to convert (provided of course that she lives by the conservative values of her faith). I know this part may be hard to swallow, you may be better off leaving your wife for the sake of God (Allah). It sounds harsh, but why do this to yourself? This world is temporary. The wordly objects, friendships, and relationships that we build don't go with us to the grave. I recall reading a story of a companion of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), where he was in love with a woman and before having a chance to marry her, she had been married off to someone else. He was briefly devestated but then realized, "God deprived me the love of one woman, but I will not despair for he has the love of a greater greater reserved for me."
For all you know, Allah may guide your wife and she may even become more religious of a Muslim than you!
As far as your problem goes with accepting the Qu'ran, perhaps with the help of our wonderful brother Abu Ubaida (masha'Allah), you can have those doubts cleared up? In addition to that, he can probably help you in directing you over to a masjid closest to you, or with some knowledgable brothers he may know in your area and you can probably make some new friends and get yourself around that Islamic surrounding.
I hope this helps you. May Allah guide you.
PS: Brother Abu Ubaida please feel free to edit anything from my e-mail that's incorrect and replace that info with the correct equivalent of it.
In addition to that:
There is a vote by the Yahoo site to prevent the veil on Muslim sisters in New Zealand and a high percentage of the vote to approve it.
Previously we have been able to break that and after the help of God we can make to vote for Muslim sisters.
Vote first and then Spread this message in the forums and all of you know, for support of the Muslims
Says Vote: Would you vote for a ban on face-covering Muslim veils in NZ?
Please vote NO!
Link for this page is: http://nz.news.yahoo.com/polls/popup/-/poll_id/55492/
MashaAllah Brother. Very well written and like i said there's brothers and sisters in the group who know have huge amounts of knowledge about Christianity and the errors in the bible. I certainly learn some new things and remembered some facts about Christianity that I had forgoten.
This email ( any every body elses emails) are a demonstration that we can all learn so much from each other no matter what our level of knowledge of Islam.
Logic will tell us that if a person leaves falsehood (christianity) and then becomes shia but and realises Shiasm is falshood he would be in a limbo until he found the truth (Islam according to Quran and sunnah of the Prophet peace be upon him). That is he would go from his new falsehood and back to his old falsehood. The only other logical explanation would be that the person would return back to falsehood because he didnt realise it was falsehood in teh first place.
Alhamdulillah what we can learn from the information you have provided is that human beings don't follow the logical pattern and as daees we would have to to take this into account.
I dont think anyone of us either converts or from Muslim families could have known this until someone actually told us. This is why its important to tell these things and daees and even sheiks to have an open mind and be willing to learn information from any Muslim.
Sometimes people do certain things or behave in a wrong way and no one can know unless they actually talk to the person or have been there or see others go there. To to be an effective daee, Imam or sheik the person needs to actually listen to observe other Muslims.
Unfortunately some daees and sheiks and sheiks are not open to feedback. They only like feedback that agrees with their idea of what is happening out there. Once a sheik asked for feedback from in the Masjid. Everyone gave their suggestions but my suggestion made them very angry because I was thinking a few steps ahead of them. Another occupation I tried to warn the sheik about what his college. He was nice about it but simply unwilling to see that I had a valid point and instead started defending him. he was unable to see my talent lol. Even though I had actually saved them 3 years before that from something similar.
I realised he's not open to this idea. So last year, 4 years latter what I tried to warn him about happened. It shock him and the other sheiks. They had the rug pulled under their feet. My friend told one of them oh AbuUbaida told me two years ago about the issue. It was 4 years ago but 2 yrs the full plan was visible. That was just from passing by observations. Even after all that they are unwilling to take notice of what I said 5 years ago and are heading for more problems.
The natural logic if you have a guy who realised what was about to happen several years ago through simple passing by observations would be an asset and his advice would be valuable especially when you cant see it whilst its happening under your feet. They actually heading towards so many other simalar problems but they too clever to listen.
The kuffar pay 100'sk for just a few consultancy to their people. Ours wont even accept them for free. Instead if you offer them such service they might kick us out of the door.
So as a matter of advice when it comes to dawah and doing your bit for Islam.
Firstly discover what your natural talent is and refine it. Every one is blessed with one or more amazing natural Talent. Just because they cant give speachs or lack speaking skills doesnt mean they are not talented. Or just because they can get on stage and entertain people like son rapper doesn't mean they actually know Islam. If you ask me to give a speech on Islam on stage I would probably look very silly.
For instance one of my pharmacology lectures was graduated from Cambridge University. So exceptionally clever academically. He was hopeless as explaining. I asked him question and he simply seemed confused and mumbled something. I got so upset and thought I must be thick. The other students said did you ask him. Dont ask him he cant explain anything. But he gave excellent notes on the Projector which we just copied and went home.
In class he just read out his notes.
Some are good at writing but hopeless at public speaking. Some are amazing at public speaking but they hopeless at answering questions. And ofcourse some are all rounders. So there is no excuse for dawah. I could never have imagined doing dawah because i knew for a fact i was hopeless at public speaking and i thought i was hopeless at writing too. It's only because my headmaster at school would keep asking the English teacher for my English books and he said to her he will go a long way. I think the enemies of Islam will be blaming the kaffir headmaster now lol.
Unfortuntelly what happens in our ummah is they value only verbal communication abilities and that can demoralise a person whose not a great conversion maker. But sometimes great conversation makers are not always people who can see the overall picture of Islam or a political situation.
.During the 1980 Pakistani ISI Genereal Hamid was given task of winning the War against the Soviets. Several Afghanis groups would come to him. American complained to Pakistani government that he was supply certain groups more than others. He said they wanted him weapons to their favoured group but they were only good at talking not fighting and he needed to win a war and he didnt need PR people for that but actual fighters and the war was won.
I remember when i worked with one Islamic society. Majority of the students were foreigners they didnt really want me to do dawah but rather just serve the tea. So they would be arguing to athiests that christiaty was false and the athieist would be nodding and they thinking wow My dawah is really effective. So i finally got fed up listening and said to the guy "you are not christian are you?" Guy smiling and saying nope and if I remember correctly the brother kept on telling him how Christianity was wrong. They were looking at me thinking I am spoiling their dawah. Infact those brothers belonged to groups which say they are modern, in the jet age, and they use hikmah and they try to dilute Islam. Reality is if we use hikmah (wisdom) we realise that Allah created this religion for all time and it is perfect for all times.
You can see how wise they are when they try to convert an atheist from Christianity to Islam.
I wish we had you tube and modern mobile phones in those days.
By the way I wanted to ask what made you realise shiasm was false and also how was its falseness similar to the falseness of Christianity?
I was wondering if its similar to what i am thinking off.