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FW: MAKING IT WORK APRIL 1, 2003, Volume V, Special Edition

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  • Jonathan Dubman
    I don t usually forward all the mail I get from City Councilmembers, but today s mail from Richard Conlin is particularly relevant to the issues of the day.
    Message 1 of 2 , Apr 1, 2003
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      I don't usually forward all the mail I get from City Councilmembers, but today's mail from Richard Conlin is particularly relevant to the issues of the day.

      Jonathan

      -----Original Message-----
      From: Richard Conlin [mailto:Richard.Conlin@...]
      Sent: Tue 4/1/2003 9:16 AM
      To: makingitwork@...
      Cc:
      Subject: MAKING IT WORK APRIL 1, 2003, Volume V, Special Edition



      MAKING IT WORK APRIL 1, 2003, Volume V, Special Edition
      Seattle City Councilmember Richard Conlin

      The purpose of this newsletter is to provide information, inspire
      involvement, and make things work in this great city. Send feedback to
      me at
      conlin@.... Please reference the newsletter in the subject
      line.

      To SUBSCRIBE to MAKING IT WORK
      Send a message to Majordomo@...
      In the body of the message type subscribe makingitwork
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      STATE SENATE MOVES ON TRAFFIC DEREGULATION

      Republican control of the State Senate has led to a new emphasis on
      reducing regulations that may inhibit the successful operation of the
      free market. One such measure that has received relatively little
      attention is a bill to deregulate traffic signals.

      "Straight Ahead on Red" extends the current provisions that allow right
      turn on red to the next logical level. Under the Senate bill, drivers
      will be free to proceed after stopping at red lights if there is no
      traffic on the cross street. Regretfully, the legislation does not
      mention pedestrians.

      "It's time that we cut through the red tape (sic) that is restricting
      the liberty of drivers," Senate Republican leaders were quoted as
      saying. "The best way to prevent accidents is to ensure that every
      driver has to be alert and take responsibility for their actions.
      Traffic signals encourage drivers to depend on state regulations to
      control their actions, and this dependence discourages initiative.
      "Straight Ahead on Red" means more freedom for all of us."

      Other bills expected to receive future consideration include one making
      seat belts, turn signals, and brake lights optional equipment, and
      another that would allow the use of armored vehicles and small-caliber
      machine guns to manage right-of-way conflicts.

      ADJECTIVAL CONSERVATION ACT ENUNCIATED IN STATE HOUSE

      Environmentalists have hailed the proposed Adjectival and Adverbial
      Conservation Act as a major step in conserving both electricity and
      paper. The AACA limits the number of adjectives and adverbs to a fixed
      percentage of the text on each page of a document.

      "If every American conserved just one adjective per page per day,"
      House leaders noted, "the nation would save 600,000 reams of paper
      annually. If people really and truly care about our beautiful and
      endangered forests and our fragile environment, they will become
      increasingly more chary of using superfluous, florid rhetoric, and will
      return to the more Spartan and succinct simplicity practiced by our
      thrifty and eloquently far-sighted foreparents."

      In the spirit of the proposed act, the chief sponsor of the bill
      declined to comment for the record. Next steps reportedly include a
      pilot project which would require newspapers to eschew the use of one
      letter each day, and a bill that would replace Mr., Mrs., Miss, and Ms
      with a simple M.

      NORTH SEATTLE ANIMALS BENEFIT FROM MAYOR'S PROPOSALS

      In recent weeks, Mayor Nickels has proposed to "Unleash Northgate" and
      "Lift the Lease Lid" in the University District. Careful examinations
      of the details of these proposals reveal that the Nickels administration
      is responding to the demands of animal lovers of all stripes.

      The first proposal would make the entire Northgate Mall block an
      off-leash dog park. The 52-acre off-leash area would be the largest in
      Seattle. A spokesperson for the Nickels office pointed out that
      off-leash advocates have often complained about the lack of interesting
      and challenging environments. "Off-leash dogs will have a fascinating
      and rapidly changing landscape of vehicles and shoppers," the
      spokesperson noted. "These wonderful creatures will be able to fully
      engage their alertness and agility." This park will also be very
      inexpensive to develop, since there will be no need of fences because
      the Mall block is surrounded by traffic 24 hours a day.

      Observers had been puzzled by the Mayor's proposal to "Lift the Lease
      Lid" in the University District, since no one has been able to figure
      out what exactly this phrase means. However, text analysis by a team of
      deconstructionists has revealed that the proposal is actually
      misspelled, and is really "Lift the Leash Lid". This apparently means
      that animals of all kinds will be free to roam in the University
      District. Students who keep exotic pets have hailed the proposal, and
      are looking forward to free-roaming ferrets, snakes, and small rodents
      to create an interesting and ever-changing scene.

      The Mayor's Office has denied that the real intent of these proposals
      is to unleash vulpine developers to allow them to weasel out of their
      obligations under city land use regulations.

      APRIL 1, 2003

      Citizen participation and engagement are critical for maintaining
      democracy -- fostering it is a key task of elected officials. It's my
      hope that this newsletter will inform you about issues, inspire you to
      get involved, and that together we can make things work better in this
      great city. Please send me your feedback, so we can keep things lively,
      interesting, and useful. And please forward it along to friends who
      might be interested.

      Richard Conlin
      Your Seattle City Councilmember

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    • ASLASK
      What is the nature of your apparent obsession with cars and traffic? Are you a member of the illuminati? Love, ASLASK
      Message 2 of 2 , Apr 1, 2003
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        What is the nature of your apparent obsession with cars and traffic?
        Are you a member of the illuminati?

        Love,

        ASLASK
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