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The Important Role of Mothers in Child Education

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  • Modern Muslim
    From: Modern Muslim: modernmuslim@msn.com Reply-To: modernmuslim@msn.com To :
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 3, 2003
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      From: Modern Muslim: modernmuslim@...

      Reply-To: modernmuslim@...

      To : <binladen_94@...

      Subject : The Important Role of Mothers in Child Education
      Date : Thursday, July 03, 200309:51:01
      Lessons from our Deen
      "Man shall have nothing except for what he strives for"
      An-Najm (The Star), Chapter 53: Verse 39
      "My belief is in my heart"; "I know I sin often, but my intentions are always pure: after all, it is one's intention that really counts!"; "No one will reach Paradise except for Allah's Mercy."

      While all these concepts are valid (i.e. purity of belief and intentions are necessary), it is our readiness to obey, strive, and act that deserve Allah's Mercy. It is perhaps for this reason that Hasan al-Basri (may Allah have mercy on his soul) once said: "On the Day of Judgment, Allah will allow His obedient servants into Paradise by His Mercy and divide it amongst them according to their deeds."


      Knowledge Without Action


      As Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali (1058-1111 CE) argues in his Dear Beloved Son (containing advice to his student): "Be not bankrupt of good deeds, nor void of [spiritual] status. Know for certain that abstract knowledge alone will neither increase you in power, nor strengthen your situation. Likewise if a brave warrior in possession of ten Indian swords and other weapons was alone in the wilderness, and a great ferocious lion attacked him, do you think the weapons could defend him if they were not used against the lion?


      "....By the same principle, if a man read a hundred thousand theories, they would be of no use to him if he did not try and apply them. Therefore, if you studied a hundred years and collected a thousand books, you would not be prepared for the Mercy of Allah, the Exalted, except by action."


      Three Principles to Remember:


      From this verse three important principles can be derived:

      1-that every person will get only the fruit of his own deeds;

      2-that the fruit of one person's deeds cannot be given to another unless he has a share in that deed;

      3-that none can attain anything in the Hereafter without the desire to strive for it.


      Abul Ala Mawdudi (1903-1979) in his extensive exegesis of the Quran, Towards Understanding the Quran, points out, "Some people wrongly apply these principles to the economic problems of the world and conclude that no person can become the lawful owner of anything except of his or her own earned income." While Islam encourages everyone to work hard to earn their own livelihood, there are provisions, such as Zakat and inheritance laws that allow one person's income to be transferred to others on the basis of their moral and legal entitlement.


      Exception to this Verse


      The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "When a person dies, his deeds come to an end except for three: (a) Deeds of continuous charity (Sadaqa), (b) (written) knowledge with which humankind gets benefit; (c) a righteous, pious son (or daughter) who begs Allah to forgive their parents." [Sahih Muslim]

      The Important Role of Mothers in Child Education -PART1

      A mother has a significant, basic role in education. This is evident in the following points.

      1- The Family Influence in Education:

      The family is the first tier in the process of social upbringing. It is the family that instills in the child the standards by which he/she judges everything that he/she later receives from all social institutions. When the child goes to school, the attitude towards the teacher is formed on the basis of the education he/she has received at home. The selection of friends at school is also based on the way he/she was raised by his/her family. He/she evaluates everything he/she hears and sees and every situation he/she finds himself in or he/she witnesses through what his/her family has instilled in him/her. That is the role of the family in education, a very important and serious role.

      2- The Child Is Influenced by the Mother's Condition at Pregnancy:

      The mother dominates a stage of the child's life all by herself, with nobody else sharing her role, and this stage, the pregnancy, has an influence on education which some people might not be aware of. An embryo in its mother's womb is influenced by several things.

      One of these things is nourishment. The type of food an embryo receives from its mother affects it in various ways. It is also influenced by any illness or indisposition of the mother during pregnancy. If a mother takes drugs while she is pregnant, the embryo is affected, and simalarly,if the mother is an addict. The same thing is true of smoking, and this is why in Western societies, a smoking woman is advised to quit or cut down on smoking during pregnancy, to spare the embryo the effect of nicotine. Other things that have an effect on the embryo are medications, which is the reason why a doctor asks a woman whether she is pregnant or not when he wants to prescribe a medicine for her.

      Another influence, which the two parents may not realize, is the emotional condition of the mother. A baby might scream a lot in early childhood, or he might easily get scared, and in both cases, this may be due to the impact of his/her mother's emotional condition during pregnancy. When the mother gets too emotional, the hormones which she produces and which the child receives are affected. If such an emotional state goes on for a long time, the effect extends to the embryo's psychological, emotional, and physical constitution. That is why a husband should do his best to make the atmosphere favorable at home, and a mother should do her best to avoid anything that would excite her.

      The attitude of the mother towards her pregnancy and her embryo is another important factor. When she is happy and cheerful at being pregnant, her mood will certainly have an effect on the embryo, the same way as when she is unhappy about her pregnancy. This is why Allah , the Most Glorious and Sublime, directs people to correct their attitudes towards male and female children. He says: Allah has the Kingdom of Heavens and Earth. He creates whatever He will and gives whom He will female offspring and whom He will male offspring, ! or He gives both male and female children, and makes whomever He wants sterile. He is Most Knowing and Mighty� (XLII: 49-50). He, the Most Glorious and Sublime, has His Will and His Judgment, and what He chooses has always a justification and a rationale. So a wife and her husband should always feel satisfied with what Allah gives them and should know that it is for their own good. They should be content whether a boy or a girl is born to them. If a woman loses this feeling of satisfaction, as when medical examination shows the sex of the embryo in her womb and it turns out to be the opposite of what she wises for, her attitude and feeling will certainly affect the embryo. The aim is to make the point that the role of a woman starts during pregnancy, and that at that stage, she is the only influence on the child.

      Source: By Mohammad AL Dweesh(islamicedu.com)


      The Important Role of Mothers in Child Education - PART 2(Final)

      By Mohammad AL Dweesh(islamicedu.com)

      1.A Mother's Role in Early Childhood:

      Early childhood is a very important stage in the raising of a child, and the role of the mother at that stage is greater than that of anybody else. While the baby is still nursing, she has the greatest contact with it. For a great purpose that Allah has, the only nourishment of the baby at this stage is by nursing from its mother. This does not have a medical effect on the health of the child only, but also has psychological effects, the most important of which is making the baby enjoy the tenderness and closeness that it needs. Doctors always advise mothers to nurse their babies themselves, and if, for one reason or another a mother does not, she is advised to take care of it and keep it close to her all the time.

      One can therefore realize how serious a mistake a mother makes when she leaves her baby at this stage to a governess or a maid who takes complete charge of it: cleaning it, taking care of its clothes, preparing its food, and, when t he baby takes artificial milk, preparing the bottles for it. In such a situation, a baby misses a lot of the psychological care it needs.

      If a mother has the misfortune of having a maid, and it is always better to do without them, she, i.e. the mother, should take care of the baby herself in the early stages of its life. She can leave matters of cooking, house cleaning, and similar chores to the maid, because a baby will not receive as much tenderness and care from a maid as from its own mother. What the baby is exposed to at this stage has a great future psychological effect and influences the attitude of the baby in the future towards various things. This is particularly important, because many governesses and maids in the Islamic world are non-Muslim, and even Muslim ones are often non-religious. The effect of such a situation is not hard to guess and it would take long to discuss this subject in detail, so I will limit myself to this passing remark.

      The point is that a mother deals with her baby in early childhood more than the father does. The baby acquires many habits and standards at this age and also learns some modes of behavior which will be hard to change in the future. This is what makes the mother's role so important; it is the gate of this precarious stage in the child's life. There are some people, for example, who are devout and upright, but because they have not been raised in their childhood to strict moral and behavioral standards, they are characterized with some roughness in manners and lack of discipline.

      2- A Mother's Role with Her Daughters:

      If a mother is the closest person to children in general in their early childhood, this closeness is greater and continues longer in the case of daughters.

      Probably some of the problems we have today with girls are due to the diminished educational role of mothers. A girl goes through adolescence, is exposed to temptations, and has to cope with her desires. The society she lives in encourages immorality, and the girl has an emotional vacuum, and might only find satisfaction and gratification in unholy environments. The mother meanwhile is too busy with her own affairs, or with her neighbors and friends. The girl lives in one world, her mother in another.

      It is very necessary for the mother to live with her daughters and be close to them. A girl is more likely to be open with her mother than with her father. It is necessary for the mother to fill the emotional void her daughters suffer from.

      The emotional void a girl feels is usually gr eater in a house with a maid. The maid takes care of the household chores, and the family decides that their daughter should apply herself to her studies, which take a lot of her time. But when school duties are over, the girl is left with a lot of leisure time. How does she spend it? Reading? We do not usually cultivate in our children the habit of reading.

      As already mentioned, there is a great gap between mothers and daughters. A girl feels that her interests, her iclinations, and her way of thinking are not acceptable to her mother. She feels a cultural gap between her and her mother, and finds her satisfaction perhaps in a magazine that covers fashion and home-decoration, discusses love and emotions, and tells a woman how to win the admiration of others. Such topics arouse a certain desire in the girl. Or perhaps she gets interested in video films, or in telephone conversations with young men. Even if none of these things are available to her, she may learn things from her mates at school.

      3- A Mother Knows the Private Details in the Life of Her Children:

      A mother takes care of the clothes of her children and the furniture of the house, as well as intimate details that concern her children. Thus she is more likely to discover problems that her children suffer from than their father, particularly in these days, in which a father is usually too busy for his children. The mother, therefore, is more aware of the affairs of her children than her husband.

      All the above factors emphasize the role a mother has in education. A mother represents one half of the household, and a father can by no means meet the full responsibility of raising his children. Nor can the school alone have the full responsibility. The combined efforts of all concerned parties should work in harmony towards the same end.

      In reality, however, the values upheld at school are sometimes undermined at home, and the values a child learns at home are contradicted by what he comes across in the street. The child has then to cope with contradicting standards. Our point, however, is that the household itself should work in harmony and as one, complementary unit.

      Source: By Mohammad AL Dweesh(islamicedu.com)



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