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22484on the lighter side:

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  • Jeff Jonas
    Aug 26, 2011
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      some are tech:

      http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/08/25/fringe_gag/

      Here's the 2011 top 10 in full:

      1. Nick Helm: "I needed a password with eight characters so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."
      2. Tim Vine: "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."
      3. Hannibal Buress: "People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time.' You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works."
      4. Tim Key: "Drive Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car..."
      5. Matt Kirshen: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess."
      6. Sarah Millican: "My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards."
      7. Alan Sharp: "I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure."
      8. Mark Watson: "Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife."
      9. Andrew Lawrence: "I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails."
      10. DeAnne Smith: "My friend died doing what he loved... Heroin."

      The worst joke of the year went to a deserving Paul Daniels. The veteran magician took the wooden spoon for explaining to the audience of his Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow show: "I said to a fella 'is there a B&Q in Henley?' He said 'No, there's an H, an E, an N an L and a Y...'"

      Tim Vine also got a nod in the worst joke round-up for "Uncle Ben has died. No more Mr Rice Guy", while Andrew Bird is doubtless now regretting he ever told the Fringe: "My wife's eating for two. She's not pregnant, just schizophrenic."