Rice Baloney?
I swear, I'm getting outta the love biz right now. That'll last,
let's see, how much time? Probably about as long as Jennifer
Garner's marriage to Michael Vartan. Is that overly mean?

I suppose I should back up a bit, huh? Yes, yes, yes. I will go to
my grave (where I trust I won't be dumped as early as some folks
would like) insisting on the accuracy of my original bustup reports
regarding Alias' hot honeys. Had to do with those drop-dead blue
jobs of Vartan, I think, and how so many hoochie-coochies find them
as irresistible as Jen does. But that was then.

You're totally not gonna believe this, but now I'm hearing from some
inside chums of the babelicious ones that an engagement is
imminent. "Do not be surprised if Michael and Jennifer become
engaged in the very near future," said a source who knows Jen's
schedule rather well.

That day-planner apparently has Ms. G. headed L.A. way, once the
divorced star of Elektra finishes filming in Canada. Back home to
Michael (for a permanent move-in?), I'm told, along with a nice
little matrimony-to-be announcement.

Hmmm.

"Definitely not true," Ms. G.'s rep replied when told of the maybe-
hitching biz. And, sistas, lemme tell y'all that PR gal chuckled
somethin' fierce when I, queen of the Michael-Jen bustup biz, rang
with union rumors. Always glad to help cheer someone up, even a
publicist.

Let's see, though. Does this change anything? Why is the camp that's
notorious for not commenting on the cupid stuff so quickly shooting
down the good stuff?

"Can you confirm they're still seeing each other?" I asked, sensing
a romantic-rodent sitch of some sort.

"No, I can't," came the reply. Great. That helps heaps.