Poohbear to Eeyore
- Today's Great Thunk from Planet Z, part of an ongoing collection
tentatively titled "Enlightenment for the Just Plain Disgruntled"
or "Pooh's Instructions to Eeyore on De-gloomification"
>No one succeeds without patient perseverance.-- Ramana
A Mild Suggestion from The Grand Poohbear of All Possibilities
If the donkey Eeyore (Yo? Io? Ego?) of the waking self is digging in its
hooves to the patient perseverance admonition, or finding too severe
other similar instructions such as follow the mind to its source (too
many brambles, and what the hell happened to the path?) , may your
kindly Grand Poohbear recommend the carrot instead of the stick
Carrot 1) catching the tip of the tongue before the first ' I ' thought
morning and holding firm for the rollercoaster ride on the tendrils of
delta-sleep bliss still dissipating into the dawn mists.
It's then merely a question of how much bliss it takes to fill up
Eeyore to the point where Eeyore reaches Eeyore's own individal bliss
Carrot 2) clucking like a sleeping chick in time with Eeyore's
How many clucks does it take for Eeyore to lapse into the heart
100? 200? Once in, does Eeyore ever want to leave again?
Todays Zero k0an:
How many clucks does is take Eeyore to cross the great ocean?
Carrot 3) purring like a mother cat enjoying her kittens.
Can Eeyore do 50 without drifting away? I can't.
(Mouth slightly parted,
on the inhale: snore and vibrate the back of the throat
on the exhale thru the mouth: gargle a French 'r')
Once Eeyore is content (filled), then those naughty I am other than
The Grand Poohbear separate-self thought waves do indeed subside into
naught (the naughty losing its querulous Y) all on their own, like
a baby bear who has nursed its fill on the Divine Pooh-Mothers breast.
The theory behind these exercises.
Those of us who went through the Substance-Toking Sixties discovered
that body states could arise of such extreme ecstasy that merging with
the ocean of the Grand Poohbear was unavoidable. You figuratively were
'grabbed by your bare scruff and plonked amidst the assembled ranks of
ancestral ancient totem creatures, nature deities, buddhas, goddesses,
and arhats, scruffy hair and all,. You could give the big V and High
to Avalokitsvara she-self until the chemistry wore off and you
dazed and forgetful, in a re-entry orbit. At least it was very
that is, you couldnt claim unique ownership to the experience because
after all, anyone taking the same cheerful blue tab could share the
same enlightenment, but it tended to be evanescent -- and hard to
I imagine that the current Rave/Ecstasy generation has been discovering
somewhat the same message, to the intense exhaustion of their adrenal
The perennial problem always has been: how to stay delta-ecstatic
NATURALLY without ruining the body. In 2002 one can phrase it, how
to remain a functional bodhisattva in Consensus Reality -- that is
operating out of ones own ongoing and permanent experience of
(thus bypassing Do-gooder-hood) without requiring one of the smorgasbord
of booster fuels now so temptingly available either from ones doctor or
ones dealer (is there a difference?).
The lesson that everyone from the first self-realized mother (Urg,
funny face in brook when Eeyore look down. Urg, big light in sky flashes
in water when Eeyore bend down to drink) to amazing Ramana, teaches us
is this: the melting-away of the barriers that the waking-state ego
between our naturally blissful Self (which we all are in deep delta-wave
sleep) and our waking beta-consciousness, is our innate birthright. All
the barriers (cultural, innate, survival, whatever) to this
in my humble Grand Poohbear opinion, merely hoary accretions layered
over the aeons by encrusted patriarchal priesthood traditions and these
nothing whatsoever except stir up bottom sediment and muddy the water,
thus obscuring the amazing Truth -- that we are _already_ that ecstatic
being-state for which we are seeking elsewhere.
We all yearn for our own innately natural way to dissolve
ego-separation so we can remain permanently in what perhaps can be
inadequately as a flowing, post-orgasmic glow. Once Eeyore, while awake,
can enjoy what Eeyore gets every night while asleep, the donkey self can
back up happily into self-realized snugggle-itude with the Supreme Bear
further ado or patient perseverance or whacks on the haunches or gurus
worshipping ancestors or inhaling rare fumes (of which, believe me, this
particular Poohbear once inhaled more than a lifetimes share) or other
The methods I have described above work for me. I use them
because Ramanas looking back at the inside Looker, or the Middle Path
of balancing the inside Looker with the Looked-at and then triangulating
to the overarching Sun-Witness State (the balance when achieved being
recognizable by the blast of good vibrations from the lower extremities
when the bear is not straining after them) is too un-bearably hard for
for most people. Given the terrible increase in suffering and stress
the planet is currently undergoing, we all need a fast and thoroughly
natural fix --for donkeys, for bears, and all the way up and down the
Admittedly, these outlined fixes dont yet seem to work via e-mail
exhortations for any but a few of my friends. It may be that some sort
on-site get-together is necessary. But meanwhile I'm investigating some
hopefully even easier ones, such as The Baklava Meltdown (hold a
of baklava until it melts on its own -- the longer held the better) or
Ladi-dah. Or tch-tch-ing at the Eeyore's reflection in the mirror in
with your heartbeat until you achieve at least a Level 7 laughter
Wih loving beams,
Swami Bootstrap Slow-As-Molasses (channeling the Grand Poohbear of All
Possibilities within the Ocean of Bliss: "Hey, c'mon in! The water's