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speaking of grudges

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  • Melody
    A couple of weeks back I was talking with a group of guys about the war in Iraq. It was clear during the discussion that I tended to see the US invasion in a
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 26, 2003
      A couple of weeks back I was talking
      with a group of guys about the war in Iraq.

      It was clear during the discussion
      that I tended to see the US invasion in a little
      different light than they did.

      At one point, one guy who was a Vietnam
      vet became really angry and started saying
      stuff like "why the hell don't you just leave
      this country....go live in a communist country....
      if you don't support America!"

      I said something like: I support America
      everybit as much as you do. We just have
      different ideas about what where we would
      like to see it focus its attention.



      He then muttered something under his breath
      about Jane Fonda, and stormed out of
      the room.

      For the past few weeks he has gone out of
      his way to avoid me.....always looking away
      when I approach. The other day we were
      so close to one another he couldn't avoid
      looking at me. And he did so....with such
      animosity it kind of stopped me in my tracks.

      I looked him square in the face and asked
      if he was still carrying a grudge.

      He replied, as if with a sense of pride....
      as if I had asked him if he was married.....

      "Ever since 1965! You bet I am!"

      It struck me how he wore that statement
      kind of like a badge of honor. And I could
      see just how it had become a kind of
      core identity.

      I could see that he intended to hold onto
      it no matter what...

      .....no matter how miserable it made him.

      I could see how easily he was willing
      to sacrifice his heretofore pleasant
      relationship with 'melody', in order to
      maintain that portion of his identity.

      I was really speechless. The only thing I
      heard myself say in response was "My goodness...."
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