Re: [Meditation Society of America] Jim Dreaver
- Hi Jason,
Thanks for forwarding this.....
> Enlightenment, or awakening, simply means the end ofI appreciate that definition very much.
> suffering. That is, no more
> personal angst, worry, conflict, or inner struggle.
This speaks to the question I posed last night
as to what some may see as the correlation between enlightenment and
the kundalini process.
In my self, I've come to see the parallels between
kundalini 'symptoms' (and certain energetic
experiences from within the body)
and that of transformation in consciousness.
In other words, the 'symptoms' seem to mirror
what is happening (or about to happen) in
And part of what I observe in this transformation
of consciousness is just what is described above.
Such a melting away of the inner struggle, the
personal angst and worry that 'drove' my life
for almost a half century. And although
that 'melting' process has not yet completed,
the difference in life experience day to day
is remarkable (to me).....especially when I
look back on all those years of inner torment....
and what I call 'divided mind' fighting one part
I say that the process isn't complete because
there are still some moments, such as this very
moment, when there is the experience of
"divided mind".....when natural, unencumbered
action is halted by a 'nah saying' voice.
(As convoluted as this may seem, this
'nah saying' voice....voice of 'judgment'....
is what I would characterize as an 'affliction'...
something that is an obstruction to natural,
spontaneous movement.....and that which
> That's how the BuddhaI never knew that.
> defined it, that is how Jean Klein, my teacher defined
> He also made it clearYes. That's one way....the way commonly
> that once the suffering goes, clarity reigns supreme,
> and you always feel deeply
> at peace within, regardless of what is going on around
> you. I can testify to
> How, then, do we awaken? By seeing that the 'person'
> we have taken ourselves to
> be isn't real. In the seeing--and enlightenment is
> above all a shift in
> perception--the attachment to, or identification with,
> thoughts centered around
> 'I,' 'me,' and 'mine' falls away, Our head clears, our
> body relaxes, our heart
> opens. Thinking then becomes available as the
> extraordinary creative tool that
> it is.
spoken of on these lists. As if one moment
there was confusion, and then 'bam!' the
light goes on, and suffering is no more.....ever.
Life seems to have other 'designs' for melody.
And today, after having had the strangest dream...
and having even more 'symptoms' appearing,
I don't mind saying that I kind of wish I had
someone to talk to about all this. Not so much
for guidance, or for answers. Just to be able
to speak of this aloud.
So even though you have said that you don't
know anything about this stuff, I've volunteered
you as my 'sounding board'. :-)
I'm observing 2 voices at play within me this
morning. One saying "don't try to figure this
stuff out", and another voice naturally inclined
to write about it.....to really 'look' at it.
So, rightly or wrongly <g>, I'm going to
disregard the voice of caution and just
talk about it.
I said last night that I had tender bumps on
my crown. Well, what I realized last evening
after writing this stuff, is that I hadn't also
written about the tender 'bumps' on my ass. :-))
I kid you not.....all of a sudden I have some
kind of blisters a couple of inches below my
tail bone. And it didn't strike me, until I was
in bed last night, that one set of 'symptoms'
were at the crown (chakra), while the other
were at the base (chakra). I saw that, thought
'how wierd'..... went to sleep.
This morning I awoke with a dream about
having a love affair with Sandeep. (Wouldn't
he get a kick out of that ! )
And I can remember wondering in my dream
where was all this romantic passion coming from....
in that I have loved Sandeep so much for years,
but never thought of him in 'romantic' terms.
But, boy howdy, was I loving him in a new 'way'
last night. No it wasn't about sex. It was about
wanting to 'be' with him...touch him....lie next to
him. And fortunately for me, in my dream,
him wanting to do the same.
But then, later this morning, remembering my
earlier association of the 'bumps' being at first
and seventh chakra locations, I did a quick
search and found this:
"The feminine force of Shakti is assigned to the base Chakra, and the
male force of Shiva to the crown. When Kundalini rises fully, Shakti
and Shiva are united and cosmic consciousness is born. When the two
Chakras are not united, a state of duality exists."
Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather.
Having heard that, another element of my dream was
recalled. That the only thing stopping him from totally
being with *me* was his duty to, and concern about,
his invalid wife. (Remember folks, this is just a dream.)
I remember thinking that I understood....and I didn't
want him to leave her. That I was completely willing
to have whatever part of him (time wise) was available
to me. And then, just before I woke up, I was with
his wife....befriending her....caring for her, too. It
had no longer become an 'either/or' situation.
Having said this now, the question arises in me,
Who is the ailing and invalid wife waiting to be
befriended by me?
>Yes, I know what that's like......Now...don't let anyone attempt to take thisaway from you....It is your experience, your insight.
Now I getcha.
I just caught myself trying
to 'justify' my experience to
I see how this tendency is related
to the other: an attempt to justify
And in the end, it's an attempt
to justify 'me'.
Breathing in, breathing out.....
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