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Re: I'm confused on what's happening...

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  • medit8ionsociety
    Dear Lesley, First of all, thank you for sharing your very interesting experiences. You start by saying, I m new to consistent meditation . I m pretty sure
    Message 1 of 7 , May 20, 2002
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      Dear Lesley,
      First of all, thank you for sharing your very interesting
      experiences.
      You start by saying, "I'm new to consistent meditation". I'm pretty
      sure you mean that you are new to meditating regularly, and that is
      something quite different. What you are describing are kundalini yoga
      type meditations, feelings, and visions. The more you have, the less
      disturbing/odd feeling they will be, and the deeper you will be able
      to go. This can be very addicting, and it is easy to spend years
      seeking "higher" and more spectacular visions. I suggest just sitting
      back serenely, non-reactively, silently, without mental chatter, and
      just Witness what flows by. Be empty and you will fill with
      unimaginably wonder-full sights, sounds, and insight. It seems
      obvious
      that you have come to the point where your concentration is strong
      enough and meditation just comes to you. But, many who have had these
      type experiences have found that in the moments of their "real life",
      they are just as suffering, reactive, and helpless as they ever were.
      It is important that you now fully develop all areas of your
      spiritual
      life. Rid yourself of all negativity; learn to be the master/mistress
      of your mental, physical, and emotional reactivity. How to do this?
      Simply start paying attention to your life as it takes place as
      intently as you do to the events your meditation present to you while
      sitting in meditation. Be at one with your inner Witness as often as
      possible as the events of your life unfold before you. This is
      "consistent meditation". So, the methodology I am suggesting is to
      continue sitting in formal meditation and letting the kundalini
      shakti
      energy have it's way with you, and silently witness it. Add a form of
      Mindfulness meditation to your practice. This will automatically let
      you recognize your negative characteristics and replace them with
      righteous ones. Be gentle with your self; don't put yourself down
      during this process. You have been very blessed and your blessings
      will grow greatly. Be patient. You need not be obsessive about
      seeking
      the miraculous. It will effortlessly, perhaps after great effort,
      continue to present itself to you. And in the exact moment it is
      supposed to, all the mysteries will be revealed and you will live
      happily ever after.

      lesley wrote:
      > I'm new to consistent meditation. However, I consider myself to
      > be fairly open at most times. I attend a group meditation at an
      > SRF group in my city. I've also started meditating at night.
      >
      > When I started meditating, I was seeing colors, mostly light blue,
      > dark blue and purple. I concentrated on these and allowed them
      > to flow into their *vortices.* After some research, I learned that
      > these are chakra colors and learned about the images
      > associated with the colors. I would often see the dark blue look
      > like an eclipse then eventually I would literally see an eye shape.
      > But, I've not gone beyond that. At a group meditation, I was
      > getting green and felt my chest expanding. Then, I felt an
      > enormous amount of *pressure* which I assume was energy at
      > my throat. Following that meditation, my neck was tender for
      > several days.
      >
      > At my first group meditation, I started sobbing loudly for all the
      > sorrows of the world. I know that sounds corny, but that's really
      > how I felt. For weeks following, when I'd be doing mindless work
      > like housecleaning, I was comparing my life experiences to bad
      > choices that could have been and discovering how much I am
      > *everyone else* just I'm representing a different *reality.* (mad
      at
      > kids and Andrea Yates is one that came up because it was on
      > the news at the time and I really was struggling to understand
      > how that could happen)
      >
      > Here's the last big weird one...last night I was meditating. I
      > started feeling this energy flow starting at the middle back of my
      > spine going down the back up the front of the spine. At the same
      > time, I could hear this *hum* like a motor running. (I meditate
      > with no noise, so it wasn't the CD player <g>.) After just a few
      > minutes I felt like I couldn't breathe. I had to stop meditation
      and
      > pace the room to catch my breath.
      >
      > I've also had a dream where I could see everythings' aura and a
      > dream about a yogi who's book I just read.
      >
      > What the heck is happening to me? What am I supposed to be
      > doing? Where am I supposed to go with this?
      >
      > Lesley
      >
      > P.S. sorry for all the ** words. I really am not sure I'm
      expressing
      > myself well or making any sense.
    • lesley_j2001
      Wow! I started crying when I read your post. You said almost exactly what I *understood* in meditation last night. It came to me that to be balanced I need to
      Message 2 of 7 , May 21, 2002
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        Wow! I started crying when I read your post. You said almost
        exactly what I *understood* in meditation last night.

        It came to me that to be balanced I need to *feel my feelings*
        more so I can work through them. I also understood that I need
        to see past everyone's human-ness with my spiritual eye to see
        their true being to really practice the principle of unconditional
        love. I know that doesn't make much sense, but that's what I
        understood last night and again in your post.

        As for my other question...what does it mean when one smells
        incense during a dream?

        Thank you!!!!

        Lesley
      • medit8ionsociety
        Dear Lesley, Thanks for your kind reaction to the answers offered to your questions. You mentioned crying in reaction to them, and later wrote of the need to
        Message 3 of 7 , May 21, 2002
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          Dear Lesley,
          Thanks for your kind reaction to the answers offered to your
          questions. You mentioned crying in reaction to them, and later wrote
          of the need to "feel my feelings". What I think will be beneficial is
          to simply Witness them. This will bring about (Self) control and deep
          understanding. Understanding is not a physical, mental, or even an
          emotional thing. It is an intuitive, "gut feeling" thing, an
          awareness
          that is transcendant and comes in silence. What stops our seeing past
          everyone's human-ness and seeing their true being, is our chattering
          mind. Witnessing its activity will silence it eventually, as well as
          bring mastery of it. You're at a great place spiritually, like a
          flower opening and starting to release its wonderful aroma. This is
          why you are experiencing smelling incense. Everyone knows there is a
          3rd eye, and some know of the 3rd inner ear, with which we can hear
          the ever present celestial sounds, but few know about or experience
          the sweet fragrances. Enjoy this blessing. But just Witness this in
          silence and fill with this and all the wonders of the universe.
          lesley wrote:
          > Wow! I started crying when I read your post. You said almost
          > exactly what I *understood* in meditation last night.
          >
          > It came to me that to be balanced I need to *feel my feelings*
          > more so I can work through them. I also understood that I need
          > to see past everyone's human-ness with my spiritual eye to see
          > their true being to really practice the principle of unconditional
          > love. I know that doesn't make much sense, but that's what I
          > understood last night and again in your post.
          >
          > As for my other question...what does it mean when one smells
          > incense during a dream?
          >
          > Thank you!!!!
          >
          > Lesley
        • lesley_j2001
          I seached the website and found the mention of witnessing in many meditation techniques. This seems to be the same as detachment. Acknowledging the thing but
          Message 4 of 7 , May 22, 2002
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            I seached the website and found the mention of witnessing in
            many meditation techniques. This seems to be the same as
            detachment. Acknowledging the thing but not reacting.

            I have been told that negative thoughts can be there but as long
            as we don't *act* on them, they're not really a problem. However,
            this seems to conflict with my gut feeling on karma. So, my
            question is does karma reflect only actions and reactions or
            does it also reflect thoughts? I read about a scientific discovery
            back when they discovered radio waves that found that dead
            bodies emitted sound waves for thousands of years. That's a lot
            of thoughts floating around.

            Also, once one becomes more aware of and a better controller of
            thoughts, does one begin to balance karma from past lives more
            easily? Meaning, does one hasten the re-incarnation cycle
            toward oneness with the divine?

            Lastly, I am a little fearful of going head first into meditation and
            spiritual growth. A minister suggested I am awakening. I've had
            others suggest similar ideas using different words.I am happy
            as a mom and wife, although I would enjoy making a
            contribution to society in some humanitarian way.

            My fears are based on nothing more than society's placement of
            spiritual humans. This may be the childhood of Roman
            Catholicism coming out. I have always assumed that if one is
            truly blessed with divine union, one is or becomes a monk,
            priest, swami, and renounces all material life and family. Or, that
            one is at *death's door* and is cleansing spiritually for the
            journey. I do not fear the act of death as I have witnessed it
            several times and realize what the action is. I really enjoy my dd
            and would not want to give that up so soon, either through
            renouncing material life and family ties or death. This may be
            why I'm drawn to the SRF. The lineage of yogis is that of
            householder and teaching to householders. Please discusss
            this in your reply.

            Lesley
          • medit8ionsociety
            Dear Lesley, You state I am happy as a mom and wife, although I would enjoy making a contribution to society in some humanitarian way. You also ask about
            Message 5 of 7 , May 22, 2002
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              Dear Lesley,
              You state "I am happy as a mom and wife, although I would enjoy
              making a contribution to society in some humanitarian way." You also
              ask about karma, and the question of having to become a renunciate in
              order to be a spiritually evolved person. Many monks, nuns, swami's
              and so on, are not overly happy, wise, are not making a contribution
              to humanity, and aren't particularly spiritual. A householder whose
              intentions are pure is far more advanced than a person who just wears
              the robes, but is empty of real goodness. The formula for spiritual
              development, karma, and a good reincarnation is as follows: The more
              selflessly you act, the better the karma. The greater the
              selfishness, the greater the suffering/bad karma/bad reincarnation.
              Acting always with humility and compassion is the perfect
              methodology.

              As the great Swami Sivananda said to summarize the 350+ spiritual
              books he had written, "Be good. Do good." If your "gut feeling" is
              that it isn't right to just acknowledge negative thoughts and not act
              on them, you can take the spiritual warrior path. This would involve
              action, demonstrated by witnessing your life as it takes place,
              emptying yourself of negativity when it arises, and filling with
              love. Since thoughts are the greatest cause of reactions, witness
              them with dispassionate discrimination, and don't let the negative
              ones come forward to become negative words, and then negative
              actions.

              I know it is considered somewhat of a cliché, but there is no
              doubt that being a good wife, mom, and woman can be the best
              contribution anyone can make to the world. To do these jobs perfectly
              necessitates being selfless, humble, and compassionate. Of course,
              the same is true of being a good husband, father, and man. Whenever
              these vocations are done properly, you are guaranteed good karma,
              spiritual growth, and all the other blessings ever dreamt of, and
              more. You have nothing to fear. You are going in the right direction.

              Lesley wrote:
              > I seached the website and found the mention of witnessing in
              > many meditation techniques. This seems to be the same as
              > detachment. Acknowledging the thing but not reacting.
              >
              > I have been told that negative thoughts can be there but as long
              > as we don't *act* on them, they're not really a problem. However,
              > this seems to conflict with my gut feeling on karma. So, my
              > question is does karma reflect only actions and reactions or
              > does it also reflect thoughts? I read about a scientific discovery
              > back when they discovered radio waves that found that dead
              > bodies emitted sound waves for thousands of years. That's a lot
              > of thoughts floating around.
              >
              > Also, once one becomes more aware of and a better controller of
              > thoughts, does one begin to balance karma from past lives more
              > easily? Meaning, does one hasten the re-incarnation cycle
              > toward oneness with the divine?
              >
              > Lastly, I am a little fearful of going head first into meditation
              and
              > spiritual growth. A minister suggested I am awakening. I've had
              > others suggest similar ideas using different words.I am happy
              > as a mom and wife, although I would enjoy making a
              > contribution to society in some humanitarian way.
              >
              > My fears are based on nothing more than society's placement of
              > spiritual humans. This may be the childhood of Roman
              > Catholicism coming out. I have always assumed that if one is
              > truly blessed with divine union, one is or becomes a monk,
              > priest, swami, and renounces all material life and family. Or, that
              > one is at *death's door* and is cleansing spiritually for the
              > journey. I do not fear the act of death as I have witnessed it
              > several times and realize what the action is. I really enjoy my dd
              > and would not want to give that up so soon, either through
              > renouncing material life and family ties or death. This may be
              > why I'm drawn to the SRF. The lineage of yogis is that of
              > householder and teaching to householders. Please discusss
              > this in your reply.
              >
              > Lesley
            • kmckenzie92765
              ... Oh, Lesley, the things I could share with you. I m a novice with meditation, but I m sure of the connection with God, and there is nothing to fear, only
              Message 6 of 7 , May 22, 2002
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                > Lastly, I am a little fearful of going head first into meditation and
                > spiritual growth. . . . .
                >
                > My fears are based on nothing more than society's placement of
                > spiritual humans. >
                > Lesley

                Oh, Lesley, the things I could share with you. I'm a novice with
                meditation, but I'm sure of the connection with God, and there is nothing
                to fear, only blessing. We come from God and enjoying a daily
                connection with God -- which some call mystical -- is the most natural
                thing in the world.

                That connection is not only for priests and saints -- it's for everyone.
                You have an internal guide and you will be perfectly safe. Do not
                attempt to go where it is fearful for you, but ask for guidance and it will
                be given. Keep in mind that God is a God of love -- anything that
                promotes fear is not where you're supposed to be.

                "If you only knew who walks beside you on the path you have chosen,
                fear would be impossible."

                kathleen
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