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Zen Sarcasm

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  • medit8ionsociety
    Reposted fro the JerzeeDevilForum: 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either.
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 18, 2007
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      Reposted fro the JerzeeDevilForum:
      1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
      Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
      Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty
      much leave me the hell alone.

      2. The journey of a thousand miles begins
      with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

      3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're
      going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's
      the time to do it.

      4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,
      you can't be promoted.

      5. Always remember that you're unique.
      Just like everyone else.

      6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

      7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
      try missing a couple of car payments.

      8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk
      a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize
      them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

      9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

      10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
      Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat
      and drink beer all day.

      11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that
      person again, it was probably worth it.

      12. If you tell the truth, you don't have
      to remember anything.

      13. Some days you're the bug; some days
      you're the windshield.

      14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

      15. The quickest way to double your money is
      to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

      16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

      17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light
      side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

      18. There are two theories to arguing with women.
      Neither one works.

      19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much
      when your lips are moving.

      20. Experience is something you don't get until
      just after you need it.

      21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

      22. Never, under any circumstances, take a
      sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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