One of the Best Prayers Ever
- As posted on the Nasrudin group:
Dear Goddess, You who never kill but only change:
I pray that my exuberant, suave and accidental words
will move you to shower ferocious blessings down on
everyone who reads this benediction.
I pray that you will give them what they don't even
know they want not just the boons they think they
need but everything they've always been afraid to even
imagine or ask for.
Dear Goddess, You wealthy anarchist burning heaven to
Many of the divine chameleons out there don't even
know that their souls will live forever. So please use
your blinding magic to help them see that they are all
wildly creative geniuses too big for their own
Guide them to realize that they are all completely
different from what they think they are and more
exciting than they can possibly imagine.
Make it illegal, immoral, irrelevant, unpatriotic and
totally tasteless for them to be in love with anyone
or anything that's no good for them.
O Goddess, You who give us so much love and pain mixed
together that our morality is always on the verge of
I beg you to cast a boisterous love spell that will
nullify all the dumb ideas, bad decisions and nasty
conditioning that have ever cursed the wise and sexy
virtuosos out there.
Remove, banish, annihilate and laugh into oblivion any
jinx that has clung to them, no matter how long
they've suffered from it, and even if they've become
accustomed or addicted to its ugly companionship.
And please conjure an aura of protection around them
so that they will receive an early warning if they are
ever about to act in such a way as to bring another
hex or plague or voodoo into their lives in the
Dear Goddess, sweet Goddess, You sly universal virus
with no opinion:
I pray that you will help all the personal growth
addicts out there become disciplined enough to go
crazy in the name of creation, not destruction.
I pray that you will teach them the difference between
oppressive self-control and liberating self-control,
awaken in them the power to do the half-right thing
when it is impossible to do the totally right thing.
Arouse the Wild Woman within them even if they're
And please give them bigger, better, more original
sins and wilder, wetter, more interesting problems.
Dear Goddess, You pregnant mistress who scorns all
I pray that you will inspire all the compassionate
rascals communing with this prayer to love their
enemies just in case their friends turn out to be
Provoke them to throw away or give away all the things
they own that encourage them to believe that they are
better than anyone else.
Show them how much fun it is to brag about what they
cannot do and do not have.
Most of all, Goddess, brainwash them with your freedom
so that they never love their own pain more than
anyone else's pain.
Dear Goddess, You blissful lotus at the center of all
The curiously divine human beings reading this prayer
deserve everything they are yearning for and much,
So please bless them with lucid dreams while they are
wide awake and solar-energy-operated toys that work
even in the dark and vacuum cleaners for their magic
carpets and a knack for avoiding other people's hells
and their very own 900 number so that everyone has to
pay to talk to them and a secret admirer who is not a
Dear Goddess, You fiercely tender, hauntingly
reassuring, orgiastically sacred feeling that is even
now running through all of our soft, warm animal
I pray that you provide everyone out there with a
license to bend and even break all rules, laws and
traditions that keep them apart from the things they
Show them how to purge the wishy-washy wishes that
distract them from their daring, dramatic, divine
And teach them that they can have anything they want
if they'll only ask for it in an unselfish way.
And now dear God of Gods, God beyond all Gods,
Girlfriend of God, Teacher of God, Goddess who
invented God, I bring this prayer to a close, trusting
that in these mysterious moments you have begun to
change everyone out there in the exact way they've
needed to change in order to express their soul's
Amen. Awomen. And glory hallelujah."
Claire de Lune