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Re: When the thing you want to heal from....

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  • blueoceantiger
    ... all the meditation and reiki in the world won t turn a tulip into a rose. making peace with what is, is a challenge for most. as long as you hold the anger
    Message 1 of 3 , May 25, 2006
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      --- In meditationsocietyofamerica@yahoogroups.com, reikilove27
      <no_reply@...> wrote:
      > Sorry if this is a bit long, but I figure no better place to ask for
      > your views on a situation such as this...
      > Last year, a girl (she has posted on here and I'm sure some of you
      > know her, but I will give the respect of not revealing a name as bad
      > as I want to :)) that I thought was going to be my spiritual partner
      > and wife (I wanted to marry her obviously) completely shattered
      > everything I knew to be true....
      > She (she practiced Sufism) left me and went off to see a SUFI Guru,
      > who she eventually married (this Supposed guru lives in Pakistan by
      > the way)...
      > I can't believe it's been a year and still it feels like yesterday
      > that she left.... the parts that I have trouble with trying to heal
      > from this experience even through my Reiki (I am level II) and all
      > kinds of meditation are the fololowing
      > 1. She Lied.. how could someone who is a supposed spiritual good
      > person lie about the reasons that we were not meant to be when all the
      > along the real reason turned out to be she started talking online to
      > this guru overseas, and obviously was emotionally cheating on me with
      > him... to me this is the only way someone breaks up with you and turns
      > around and not even 2 months later sells all their belongings and goes
      > to marry someone else....
      > 2. Aren't we who get into the "spiritual path", supposed to try to
      > live up to the standards that we meditate and live on? So one side she
      > lied, on the other side this Bastard guy (can you tell I'm still
      > bitter) knew she was in a relationship and still talked her into doing
      > this whole thing....
      > I hope I am being clear.. my issue is a year later and i am still
      > trying to heal through spiritual practices like Reiki and Meditation
      > but it seems no matter what, I can't release how angry and upset I get
      > at the actions she took... and also this has completely shattered my
      > trust in people... I mean the last person that I thought would
      > completely lie and cheat was this woman(my fault for seeing her as
      > perfection I suppose).. she had a great heart,...
      > beautiful spirit and lived in every way as spiritual path as one
      > could... we both met on our path, and [I thought] this was what was
      > meant to be....
      > So question is.. how do you meditate/heal when the anger of something
      > like this is clouding the very thing you are trying to heal from?
      > I mean a meditation session doesn't go by without cursing at her to
      > her and Him for "ruining my life" (yes that is a Martyr speaking and
      > is pathetic I know especially for a 31 year old adult:))
      > Thank you in advance and sorry for the essay

      all the meditation and reiki in the world won't
      turn a tulip into a rose. making peace with what
      is, is a challenge for most. as long as you hold
      the anger you can avoid the fact you have a loss.
      yet in the emptiness, there is a grace. i have
      found no way other than to be with what is. on
      occasion i have also found the loving kindness
      metta meditation to be useful. it is a simple
      way to hold a wish for peace for all. when you
      describe a great heart, only that part of you,
      could have seen that in her. maybe all the hearts
      in this matter could use some peace. certainly
      our world can.


    • Jeff Belyea
      The trouble (troubled mind) begins when you start prescribing specific attributes to supposedly spiritual people. It is not a matter of trying to live a
      Message 2 of 3 , May 26, 2006
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        The trouble (troubled mind) begins
        when you start prescribing specific
        attributes to "supposedly spiritual"
        people. It is not a matter of "trying"
        to live a moral and ethical life.
        When one is immersed in the spiritual
        life, there is a kindness and
        compassion that is apparent - as you
        have described (as opposed to
        prescribed). But we are where we
        are in our own individual stages
        of development. This woman did not
        act against you. She used whatever
        strategy she needed to survive.
        Her strategy may have been flawed
        and selfish, but it was what she
        decided for herself.

        You write of this woman as though
        she were your possession - your
        "creation" even, who was programmed
        by you to live up to your expectations.

        This does not discount the pain
        you are in, but you are rehearsing
        the pain and giving it continued
        life in the form of anger and
        harsh judgment (both of your fair lady
        and the bastard).

        You might look at your contribution
        to the series of events, take some
        responsiblity what happened "to you",
        and then...return to meditation.

        At 31, you are still short of a
        maturation leap that will let you
        forgive and "return" to the joy and
        understanding of the gift of life
        and every breath. Meditation can
        be the bridge (or parachute, to
        stay true to the metaphor) to
        this maturation leap.

        Meditation may not change events,
        or flowers, but it does change
        perspective and appreciation
        for the natural beauty of life
        ...and roses and tulips, and
        fertilizer even.

        Continuing the internal chatter
        about this woman and what she did
        to you is not meditation. Meditation
        is silent, and draws on an inner
        wisdom without words. Meditation
        will melt the past, reveal the
        wisdom of forgiveness (for both
        yourself and this woman), and
        restore your life to a positive

        Find a good mediation teacher and let
        them guide you to the real rewards
        of meditation.

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