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When the thing you want to heal from....

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  • reikilove27
    Sorry if this is a bit long, but I figure no better place to ask for your views on a situation such as this... Last year, a girl (she has posted on here and
    Message 1 of 3 , May 24, 2006
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      Sorry if this is a bit long, but I figure no better place to ask for
      your views on a situation such as this...

      Last year, a girl (she has posted on here and I'm sure some of you
      know her, but I will give the respect of not revealing a name as bad
      as I want to :)) that I thought was going to be my spiritual partner
      and wife (I wanted to marry her obviously) completely shattered
      everything I knew to be true....

      She (she practiced Sufism) left me and went off to see a SUFI Guru,
      who she eventually married (this Supposed guru lives in Pakistan by
      the way)...

      I can't believe it's been a year and still it feels like yesterday
      that she left.... the parts that I have trouble with trying to heal
      from this experience even through my Reiki (I am level II) and all
      kinds of meditation are the fololowing

      1. She Lied.. how could someone who is a supposed spiritual good
      person lie about the reasons that we were not meant to be when all the
      along the real reason turned out to be she started talking online to
      this guru overseas, and obviously was emotionally cheating on me with
      him... to me this is the only way someone breaks up with you and turns
      around and not even 2 months later sells all their belongings and goes
      to marry someone else....

      2. Aren't we who get into the "spiritual path", supposed to try to
      live up to the standards that we meditate and live on? So one side she
      lied, on the other side this Bastard guy (can you tell I'm still
      bitter) knew she was in a relationship and still talked her into doing
      this whole thing....

      I hope I am being clear.. my issue is a year later and i am still
      trying to heal through spiritual practices like Reiki and Meditation
      but it seems no matter what, I can't release how angry and upset I get
      at the actions she took... and also this has completely shattered my
      trust in people... I mean the last person that I thought would
      completely lie and cheat was this woman(my fault for seeing her as
      perfection I suppose).. she had a great heart,...
      beautiful spirit and lived in every way as spiritual path as one
      could... we both met on our path, and [I thought] this was what was
      meant to be....

      So question is.. how do you meditate/heal when the anger of something
      like this is clouding the very thing you are trying to heal from?
      I mean a meditation session doesn't go by without cursing at her to
      her and Him for "ruining my life" (yes that is a Martyr speaking and
      is pathetic I know especially for a 31 year old adult:))

      Thank you in advance and sorry for the essay
    • blueoceantiger
      ... all the meditation and reiki in the world won t turn a tulip into a rose. making peace with what is, is a challenge for most. as long as you hold the anger
      Message 2 of 3 , May 25, 2006
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        --- In meditationsocietyofamerica@yahoogroups.com, reikilove27
        <no_reply@...> wrote:
        >
        > Sorry if this is a bit long, but I figure no better place to ask for
        > your views on a situation such as this...
        >
        > Last year, a girl (she has posted on here and I'm sure some of you
        > know her, but I will give the respect of not revealing a name as bad
        > as I want to :)) that I thought was going to be my spiritual partner
        > and wife (I wanted to marry her obviously) completely shattered
        > everything I knew to be true....
        >
        > She (she practiced Sufism) left me and went off to see a SUFI Guru,
        > who she eventually married (this Supposed guru lives in Pakistan by
        > the way)...
        >
        > I can't believe it's been a year and still it feels like yesterday
        > that she left.... the parts that I have trouble with trying to heal
        > from this experience even through my Reiki (I am level II) and all
        > kinds of meditation are the fololowing
        >
        > 1. She Lied.. how could someone who is a supposed spiritual good
        > person lie about the reasons that we were not meant to be when all the
        > along the real reason turned out to be she started talking online to
        > this guru overseas, and obviously was emotionally cheating on me with
        > him... to me this is the only way someone breaks up with you and turns
        > around and not even 2 months later sells all their belongings and goes
        > to marry someone else....
        >
        > 2. Aren't we who get into the "spiritual path", supposed to try to
        > live up to the standards that we meditate and live on? So one side she
        > lied, on the other side this Bastard guy (can you tell I'm still
        > bitter) knew she was in a relationship and still talked her into doing
        > this whole thing....
        >
        > I hope I am being clear.. my issue is a year later and i am still
        > trying to heal through spiritual practices like Reiki and Meditation
        > but it seems no matter what, I can't release how angry and upset I get
        > at the actions she took... and also this has completely shattered my
        > trust in people... I mean the last person that I thought would
        > completely lie and cheat was this woman(my fault for seeing her as
        > perfection I suppose).. she had a great heart,...
        > beautiful spirit and lived in every way as spiritual path as one
        > could... we both met on our path, and [I thought] this was what was
        > meant to be....
        >
        > So question is.. how do you meditate/heal when the anger of something
        > like this is clouding the very thing you are trying to heal from?
        > I mean a meditation session doesn't go by without cursing at her to
        > her and Him for "ruining my life" (yes that is a Martyr speaking and
        > is pathetic I know especially for a 31 year old adult:))
        >
        > Thank you in advance and sorry for the essay
        >


        all the meditation and reiki in the world won't
        turn a tulip into a rose. making peace with what
        is, is a challenge for most. as long as you hold
        the anger you can avoid the fact you have a loss.
        yet in the emptiness, there is a grace. i have
        found no way other than to be with what is. on
        occasion i have also found the loving kindness
        metta meditation to be useful. it is a simple
        way to hold a wish for peace for all. when you
        describe a great heart, only that part of you,
        could have seen that in her. maybe all the hearts
        in this matter could use some peace. certainly
        our world can.

        --josie--

        http://www.buddhanet.net/metta_in.htm
      • Jeff Belyea
        The trouble (troubled mind) begins when you start prescribing specific attributes to supposedly spiritual people. It is not a matter of trying to live a
        Message 3 of 3 , May 26, 2006
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          The trouble (troubled mind) begins
          when you start prescribing specific
          attributes to "supposedly spiritual"
          people. It is not a matter of "trying"
          to live a moral and ethical life.
          When one is immersed in the spiritual
          life, there is a kindness and
          compassion that is apparent - as you
          have described (as opposed to
          prescribed). But we are where we
          are in our own individual stages
          of development. This woman did not
          act against you. She used whatever
          strategy she needed to survive.
          Her strategy may have been flawed
          and selfish, but it was what she
          decided for herself.

          You write of this woman as though
          she were your possession - your
          "creation" even, who was programmed
          by you to live up to your expectations.

          This does not discount the pain
          you are in, but you are rehearsing
          the pain and giving it continued
          life in the form of anger and
          harsh judgment (both of your fair lady
          and the bastard).

          You might look at your contribution
          to the series of events, take some
          responsiblity what happened "to you",
          and then...return to meditation.

          At 31, you are still short of a
          maturation leap that will let you
          forgive and "return" to the joy and
          understanding of the gift of life
          and every breath. Meditation can
          be the bridge (or parachute, to
          stay true to the metaphor) to
          this maturation leap.

          Meditation may not change events,
          or flowers, but it does change
          perspective and appreciation
          for the natural beauty of life
          ...and roses and tulips, and
          fertilizer even.

          Continuing the internal chatter
          about this woman and what she did
          to you is not meditation. Meditation
          is silent, and draws on an inner
          wisdom without words. Meditation
          will melt the past, reveal the
          wisdom of forgiveness (for both
          yourself and this woman), and
          restore your life to a positive
          one.

          Find a good mediation teacher and let
          them guide you to the real rewards
          of meditation.

          Jeff
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