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Words of Off Topic Wisdom

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  • medit8ionsociety
    Thanks to my sister Judy for forwarding these gems. Enjoy! ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 22 1:40 PM
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      Thanks to my sister Judy for forwarding
      these gems. Enjoy!

      ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST

      Once again, The Washington Post has published
      the winning submissions to its yearly contest
      in which readers are asked to supply
      alternate meanings for common words.

      And the winners are:

      1. Coffee (n.): the person upon whom one coughs.

      2. Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much
      weight you have gained.

      3. Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having
      a flat stomach.

      4. Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while drunk.

      5. Willy~nilly (adj.): impotent.

      6. Negligent (adj.): describes a condition in which you
      absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

      7. Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.

      8. Gargoyle (n.): olive-flavored mouthwash.

      9. Flatulence (n.): emergency vehicle that picks you up
      after you are run over by a steamroller.

      10. Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline.

      11. Testicle (n.): a humorous question on an exam.

      12. Rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified bearing
      adopted by proctologists.

      13. Pokemon (n ): a Rastafarian proctologist.

      14. Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his
      conversation with Yiddish~isms.

      15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that, when you die,
      your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

      16. Circumvent (n.): an opening in the front of boxer
      shorts worn by Jewish men.
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