Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

RE: [Meditation Society of America] Journal Entry - November 25 - tosime

Expand Messages
  • tosime
    Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 25 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:30 a.m. Duration: 41 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
    Message 1 of 21 , Nov 25, 2002
    • 0 Attachment
      Journal Entry - tosime
      Date: November 25
      Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
      Time: 07:30 a.m.
      Duration: 41 minutes (open)
      Posture: Seated on chair
      Body: Eyes closed,
      - tongue tip to pallet,
      - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
      Room Condition: Darkened room
      - One candle
      - Incense - one stick
      - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
      Pre-session: Ring Bell
      - Sip of water
      - Ear plugs
      - full body stretch (3 times).
      Previous day's influence: Nonduality digest post - American Beauty.
      Mind Chatter: Medium.
      Waves of bliss: None.
      Experience: Very Good Session.

      Result: Interesting session today - hard to put into words

      Quote from post
      "...I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes when
      you die.
      First off that one second isn't one second at all, it stretches on forever
      like an
      ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at boy scout camp watching
      falling stars, and yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street,
      or
      my grandmother's hands and the way her skin seemed like paper, and the first
      time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new firebird. And Janie. And Janie. And
      Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed-off about what happened to me, but
      it's hard to stay mad when there's so much Beauty in the world. Sometimes I
      feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much, and my heart fills
      up like a
      balloon that's about to burst, and then I remember to relax and stop trying
      to
      hold onto it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel
      anything but
      gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea
      what I'm talking about, but don't worry, you will someday..."

      -Lester Burnam from "American Beauty"

      Normal start - allowed my mind to be free until my body had relaxed enough
      for me to direct the meditation. Today I decided to find out how long this
      takes, so when the inner sounds changed tone to signal the transition to the
      next stage, I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. It was about 20
      minutes into the session.

      After closing my eyes, I realized that I had gone backwards about a minute
      or so into the meditation. I had to wait for about a minute to get back to
      the "take over" point. The change in tone happened again and I took control
      as usual.

      The initial dialogue in American Beauty came up. It dawned on me that I was
      very attached to my thoughts - as a running commentary. I said to myself,
      "what if I became free of my attachments - what if I found the....[off
      button]". I did not complete the thought since I had switched off the
      running commentary. I felt like I was floating in zero gravity. I also
      noticed a pleasant feeling of release in my stomach area as if a normal
      tightness was suddenly released. I then decided (without the usual
      commentary) to release the attachment to my body. Creative ideas popped up
      (work related). This gave me the realization that these ideas were already
      in my mind but it took the release of attachment to my thoughts to release
      or see the ideas.

      After I released the attachment to my physical body, it felt as if it was
      moving of its own accord. I felt a series of involuntary movements almost
      like a slow gentle dance - it felt very strange.

      The whole experience was a little overwhelming so I decided to come out of
      my meditation - quite a lot to think about. Or quite a lot to not think
      about!
    • tosime
      Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 26 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:35 a.m. Duration: 36 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
      Message 2 of 21 , Nov 26, 2002
      • 0 Attachment
        Journal Entry - tosime
        Date: November 26
        Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
        Time: 07:35 a.m.
        Duration: 36 minutes (open)
        Posture: Seated on chair
        Body: Eyes closed,
        - tongue tip to pallet,
        - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
        Room Condition: Darkened room
        - One candle
        - Incense - one stick
        - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
        Pre-session: Ring Bell
        - Sip of water
        - Ear plugs
        - full body stretch (3 times).
        Previous day's influence: None.
        Mind Chatter: Low - Medium.
        Waves of bliss: None.
        Experience: Good Session.

        Result:

        It was hard to close my eyes in the beginning. I felt some muscle movement
        as my body relaxed. Saw the close link between thoughts and subtle muscle
        tension. Not sure which influenced which in that muscle tension also
        influences thought.

        Saw into the future where we all wear devices that measure whole body muscle
        tension and sends a signal to a device we wear in our ear. This device
        trains us to relax during the day and alerts us to how we respond
        subconsciously to people and events (as well as our thoughts). I was reading
        the instructions on the best place to place the device on the body since
        different people had different ideal spots.

        Lots of future thoughts - my future in different directions. Had a good
        sense that we actually create what we think of as reality.

        Good body sensitivity without the usual deep levels of relaxation - wondered
        if reaching deeper levels of physical relaxation was the best approach to
        making progress in meditation.

        Stopped thought for a brief period just to relax and enjoy the stillness in
        the meditation. This did not last long as more thoughts came in through the
        back door. These thoughts convinced me that since I was in complete control,
        it did not matter what I thought about since I could always stop the
        thoughts at any time. Famous last thoughts!

        Came out of the meditation thinking I had spent an hour only to find it just
        36 minutes.
      • tosime
        Journal Entry - tosime Date: December 12 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:35 a.m. Duration: 57 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
        Message 3 of 21 , Dec 12, 2002
        • 0 Attachment
          Journal Entry - tosime
          Date: December 12
          Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
          Time: 07:35 a.m.
          Duration: 57 minutes (open)
          Posture: Seated on chair
          Body: Eyes closed,
          - tongue tip to pallet,
          - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
          Room Condition: Darkened room
          - One candle
          - Incense - one stick
          - Essential Oil - (Dawn+water on burner)
          Pre-session: Ring Bell
          - Sip of water
          - Ear plugs
          - full body stretch (3 times).
          Previous day's influence: Guru_satsang post
          "Ramana Maharishi - Who Am I?"
          Mind Chatter: Low.
          Waves of bliss: None.
          Chant (silent): "Real freedom is freedom from thought"
          Experience: Good Session.

          Result:

          Stopped posting for no particular reason even though I kept writing my
          journal entries.

          Practice update from last journal post:
          1) Each time I strike the bell I clear my mind of whatever is uppermost in
          my thoughts at that moment. When my mind is relatively clear, I then "strike
          in" the frame of mind I want for my meditation - relaxed, still, without
          expectation.

          2) I have started chanting a phrase I make up just before I start my
          session, if I feel inclined to chant - the chant is silent.

          Chant was very effective in reducing mind chatter. Was able to observe mind
          activity very clearly. Only a few times (5 to 8)was mind activity strong
          enough to break the chant.

          Relaxed sufficiently for some form of intuitive control to take me over. I
          realized this when one of my fingers twitched to snap me out of one the mind
          excursions. Inner sounds increased when this happened.

          Occasionally I would stop the chant to explore the mindless state. I found
          it easier to maintain this state. Mind chatter would creep in gradually and
          I would resume the chant. Noticed a very distant, very faint form of mind
          chatter in the background.

          Explored the intuitive part of my mind. I found it very hard to explore
          since there was no physical sense of its presence. It is only when the
          "intuition" becomes conscious do I know it has "done" something. I feel like
          I am gradually developing my "sense" of it. It is almost like a new sense
          altogether. It is very very subtle until it reacts with my physical body or
          transfers a thought to my mind.

          All in all a good session.
        • tosime
          Journal Entry - tosime Date: December 13 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 08:35 a.m. Duration: 50 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
          Message 4 of 21 , Dec 13, 2002
          • 0 Attachment
            Journal Entry - tosime
            Date: December 13
            Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
            Time: 08:35 a.m.
            Duration: 50 minutes (open)
            Posture: Seated on chair
            Body: Eyes closed,
            - tongue tip to pallet,
            - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
            Room Condition: Darkened room
            - One candle
            - Incense - one stick
            - Essential Oil - (Dawn+water on burner)
            Pre-session: Ring Bell
            (Ring out distractions - Ring in peace)
            - Sip of water
            - Ear plugs
            - full body stretch (3 times).
            Previous day's influence: Reading my journal post as a receiver
            Mind Chatter: Low - Medium.
            Waves of bliss: None.
            Chant (silent): "...Reaching for the sky just to surrender"
            Experience: Good Session.

            Result:

            A Leonard Cohen song kept turning in my mind yesterday so I decided to use
            it in my meditation.

            The Stranger Song
            It's true that all the men you knew were dealers
            who said they were through with dealing
            Every time you gave them shelter
            I know that kind of man
            It's hard to hold the hand of anyone
            who is reaching for the sky just to surrender,
            who is reaching for the sky just to surrender.

            And then sweeping up the jokers that he left behind
            you find he did not leave you very much
            not even laughter
            Like any dealer he was watching for the card
            that is so high and wild
            he'll never need to deal another
            He was just some Joseph looking for a manger
            He was just some Joseph looking for a manger...

            "Reaching for the sky just to surrender"

            Just after the start I "felt" the scent of the oil burner. This was more a
            tingling sensation in my nose than the scent of the oil burner. I opened my
            eyes and looked at the oil burner. I then had the insight that understanding
            intuition needs a different sensory organ (i.e. eyes) even though the normal
            perception is through thought.

            It got a little complex, but I felt that intuition is really the part of you
            that creates the world we think we are perceiving. What we see as intuition
            is really seeing what we have created before it comes to us through our
            normal senses. I did not have a full understanding of this. However it
            helped me to see problems as internal conflicts rather than external
            situations.

            After writing this I lost the other insights from this meditation session.
          Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.