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RE: [Meditation Society of America] Journal Entry - November 24 - tosime

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  • tosime
    Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 24 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:10 a.m. Duration: 61 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
    Message 1 of 21 , Nov 25, 2002
      Journal Entry - tosime
      Date: November 24
      Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
      Time: 07:10 a.m.
      Duration: 61 minutes (open)
      Posture: Seated on chair
      Body: Eyes closed,
      - tongue tip to pallet,
      - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
      Room Condition: Darkened room
      - One candle
      - Incense - one stick
      - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
      Pre-session: Ring Bell (forgot)
      - Sip of water
      - Ear plugs
      - full body stretch (3 times).
      Previous day's influence: Can't remember.
      Mind Chatter: Medium - high.
      Waves of bliss: None.
      Experience: Good Session.

      Result: Unusual session

      No bell - forgot to ring
      Started by staring at the flickering candle - it was captivating, seemed
      like it was alive!
      No orderly progression - body and mind seemed to be on different tracks.
      Seemed like my body was doing one thing and my mind was doing something
      else.

      However, very deep levels of physical relaxation. Loosing sensation in parts
      of my body such as face.
    • tosime
      Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 25 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:30 a.m. Duration: 41 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
      Message 2 of 21 , Nov 25, 2002
        Journal Entry - tosime
        Date: November 25
        Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
        Time: 07:30 a.m.
        Duration: 41 minutes (open)
        Posture: Seated on chair
        Body: Eyes closed,
        - tongue tip to pallet,
        - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
        Room Condition: Darkened room
        - One candle
        - Incense - one stick
        - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
        Pre-session: Ring Bell
        - Sip of water
        - Ear plugs
        - full body stretch (3 times).
        Previous day's influence: Nonduality digest post - American Beauty.
        Mind Chatter: Medium.
        Waves of bliss: None.
        Experience: Very Good Session.

        Result: Interesting session today - hard to put into words

        Quote from post
        "...I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes when
        you die.
        First off that one second isn't one second at all, it stretches on forever
        like an
        ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at boy scout camp watching
        falling stars, and yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street,
        or
        my grandmother's hands and the way her skin seemed like paper, and the first
        time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new firebird. And Janie. And Janie. And
        Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed-off about what happened to me, but
        it's hard to stay mad when there's so much Beauty in the world. Sometimes I
        feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much, and my heart fills
        up like a
        balloon that's about to burst, and then I remember to relax and stop trying
        to
        hold onto it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel
        anything but
        gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea
        what I'm talking about, but don't worry, you will someday..."

        -Lester Burnam from "American Beauty"

        Normal start - allowed my mind to be free until my body had relaxed enough
        for me to direct the meditation. Today I decided to find out how long this
        takes, so when the inner sounds changed tone to signal the transition to the
        next stage, I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. It was about 20
        minutes into the session.

        After closing my eyes, I realized that I had gone backwards about a minute
        or so into the meditation. I had to wait for about a minute to get back to
        the "take over" point. The change in tone happened again and I took control
        as usual.

        The initial dialogue in American Beauty came up. It dawned on me that I was
        very attached to my thoughts - as a running commentary. I said to myself,
        "what if I became free of my attachments - what if I found the....[off
        button]". I did not complete the thought since I had switched off the
        running commentary. I felt like I was floating in zero gravity. I also
        noticed a pleasant feeling of release in my stomach area as if a normal
        tightness was suddenly released. I then decided (without the usual
        commentary) to release the attachment to my body. Creative ideas popped up
        (work related). This gave me the realization that these ideas were already
        in my mind but it took the release of attachment to my thoughts to release
        or see the ideas.

        After I released the attachment to my physical body, it felt as if it was
        moving of its own accord. I felt a series of involuntary movements almost
        like a slow gentle dance - it felt very strange.

        The whole experience was a little overwhelming so I decided to come out of
        my meditation - quite a lot to think about. Or quite a lot to not think
        about!
      • tosime
        Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 26 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:35 a.m. Duration: 36 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
        Message 3 of 21 , Nov 26, 2002
          Journal Entry - tosime
          Date: November 26
          Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
          Time: 07:35 a.m.
          Duration: 36 minutes (open)
          Posture: Seated on chair
          Body: Eyes closed,
          - tongue tip to pallet,
          - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
          Room Condition: Darkened room
          - One candle
          - Incense - one stick
          - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
          Pre-session: Ring Bell
          - Sip of water
          - Ear plugs
          - full body stretch (3 times).
          Previous day's influence: None.
          Mind Chatter: Low - Medium.
          Waves of bliss: None.
          Experience: Good Session.

          Result:

          It was hard to close my eyes in the beginning. I felt some muscle movement
          as my body relaxed. Saw the close link between thoughts and subtle muscle
          tension. Not sure which influenced which in that muscle tension also
          influences thought.

          Saw into the future where we all wear devices that measure whole body muscle
          tension and sends a signal to a device we wear in our ear. This device
          trains us to relax during the day and alerts us to how we respond
          subconsciously to people and events (as well as our thoughts). I was reading
          the instructions on the best place to place the device on the body since
          different people had different ideal spots.

          Lots of future thoughts - my future in different directions. Had a good
          sense that we actually create what we think of as reality.

          Good body sensitivity without the usual deep levels of relaxation - wondered
          if reaching deeper levels of physical relaxation was the best approach to
          making progress in meditation.

          Stopped thought for a brief period just to relax and enjoy the stillness in
          the meditation. This did not last long as more thoughts came in through the
          back door. These thoughts convinced me that since I was in complete control,
          it did not matter what I thought about since I could always stop the
          thoughts at any time. Famous last thoughts!

          Came out of the meditation thinking I had spent an hour only to find it just
          36 minutes.
        • tosime
          Journal Entry - tosime Date: December 12 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:35 a.m. Duration: 57 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
          Message 4 of 21 , Dec 12, 2002
            Journal Entry - tosime
            Date: December 12
            Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
            Time: 07:35 a.m.
            Duration: 57 minutes (open)
            Posture: Seated on chair
            Body: Eyes closed,
            - tongue tip to pallet,
            - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
            Room Condition: Darkened room
            - One candle
            - Incense - one stick
            - Essential Oil - (Dawn+water on burner)
            Pre-session: Ring Bell
            - Sip of water
            - Ear plugs
            - full body stretch (3 times).
            Previous day's influence: Guru_satsang post
            "Ramana Maharishi - Who Am I?"
            Mind Chatter: Low.
            Waves of bliss: None.
            Chant (silent): "Real freedom is freedom from thought"
            Experience: Good Session.

            Result:

            Stopped posting for no particular reason even though I kept writing my
            journal entries.

            Practice update from last journal post:
            1) Each time I strike the bell I clear my mind of whatever is uppermost in
            my thoughts at that moment. When my mind is relatively clear, I then "strike
            in" the frame of mind I want for my meditation - relaxed, still, without
            expectation.

            2) I have started chanting a phrase I make up just before I start my
            session, if I feel inclined to chant - the chant is silent.

            Chant was very effective in reducing mind chatter. Was able to observe mind
            activity very clearly. Only a few times (5 to 8)was mind activity strong
            enough to break the chant.

            Relaxed sufficiently for some form of intuitive control to take me over. I
            realized this when one of my fingers twitched to snap me out of one the mind
            excursions. Inner sounds increased when this happened.

            Occasionally I would stop the chant to explore the mindless state. I found
            it easier to maintain this state. Mind chatter would creep in gradually and
            I would resume the chant. Noticed a very distant, very faint form of mind
            chatter in the background.

            Explored the intuitive part of my mind. I found it very hard to explore
            since there was no physical sense of its presence. It is only when the
            "intuition" becomes conscious do I know it has "done" something. I feel like
            I am gradually developing my "sense" of it. It is almost like a new sense
            altogether. It is very very subtle until it reacts with my physical body or
            transfers a thought to my mind.

            All in all a good session.
          • tosime
            Journal Entry - tosime Date: December 13 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 08:35 a.m. Duration: 50 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
            Message 5 of 21 , Dec 13, 2002
              Journal Entry - tosime
              Date: December 13
              Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
              Time: 08:35 a.m.
              Duration: 50 minutes (open)
              Posture: Seated on chair
              Body: Eyes closed,
              - tongue tip to pallet,
              - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
              Room Condition: Darkened room
              - One candle
              - Incense - one stick
              - Essential Oil - (Dawn+water on burner)
              Pre-session: Ring Bell
              (Ring out distractions - Ring in peace)
              - Sip of water
              - Ear plugs
              - full body stretch (3 times).
              Previous day's influence: Reading my journal post as a receiver
              Mind Chatter: Low - Medium.
              Waves of bliss: None.
              Chant (silent): "...Reaching for the sky just to surrender"
              Experience: Good Session.

              Result:

              A Leonard Cohen song kept turning in my mind yesterday so I decided to use
              it in my meditation.

              The Stranger Song
              It's true that all the men you knew were dealers
              who said they were through with dealing
              Every time you gave them shelter
              I know that kind of man
              It's hard to hold the hand of anyone
              who is reaching for the sky just to surrender,
              who is reaching for the sky just to surrender.

              And then sweeping up the jokers that he left behind
              you find he did not leave you very much
              not even laughter
              Like any dealer he was watching for the card
              that is so high and wild
              he'll never need to deal another
              He was just some Joseph looking for a manger
              He was just some Joseph looking for a manger...

              "Reaching for the sky just to surrender"

              Just after the start I "felt" the scent of the oil burner. This was more a
              tingling sensation in my nose than the scent of the oil burner. I opened my
              eyes and looked at the oil burner. I then had the insight that understanding
              intuition needs a different sensory organ (i.e. eyes) even though the normal
              perception is through thought.

              It got a little complex, but I felt that intuition is really the part of you
              that creates the world we think we are perceiving. What we see as intuition
              is really seeing what we have created before it comes to us through our
              normal senses. I did not have a full understanding of this. However it
              helped me to see problems as internal conflicts rather than external
              situations.

              After writing this I lost the other insights from this meditation session.
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