Starting Over 3
- Hello Everyone,
I thought I should clarify what I may have implied in one of my previous
posts. I think I said something like it is good to be free of
techniques. I hope I did not imply that one should not use a technique.
What I meant was that perfecting the technique should not be the goal.
The freedom is being free of the quest for a perfect technique. I see
that as a path to disappointment.
I use the inner sounds technique. I enjoy it very much - or rather I am
very comfortable with it. However, I believe I could achieve similar
levels of comfort with any technique. That is what I consider to be the
freedom from technique.
Today's session was interesting. I was more aware of the inner dialogue
(voice over) that provides that constant commentary in our minds. It
seemed to me that this was just a simple survival mechanism - something
that helps us to prepare future responses to future events. For some
reason it seemed to be a simple chemical reaction in my mind. A set of
stimuli producing a chemical reaction that was translated into a
thought. When I had that thought, to my surprise, the inner dialogue
stopped instantly. It was such a surprise that it only lasted a few
moments and very quickly I had to start thinking about why it stopped so
suddenly. After a while, I was able to recover from the surprise
sufficiently for me to recreate the thought that led to the ceasing of
thought. This time it lasted for a little longer. Also my inner sounds
moved down an octave so I knew something deep was happening. I relaxed
and enjoyed the sensation and felt glad that I had the feedback of my
inner sounds to guide me. I felt like I was moving down a path of longer
and longer periods of no inner sounds. It gave me a warm comforting
feeling as if to say that this was a good path to take. I felt that that
was a good time to end the session. Had it been a year ago, I would have
checked how long I had been meditating and tried to analyze my
experience (Maybe I am still doing that indirectly!). Now, it made no
difference. I did not care if it lasted 5 minutes, 55 minutes or 5
hours. Also, it did not matter if I did not meditate the next day or for
the next 5 days. Ah - the freedom of freedom!