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Journal Entry - November 04 - tosime

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  • Tony
    Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 04 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:20 a.m. Duration: 60 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
    Message 1 of 21 , Nov 4, 2002
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      Journal Entry - tosime
      Date: November 04
      Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
      Time: 07:20 a.m.
      Duration: 60 minutes (open)
      Posture: Seated on chair
      Body: Eyes closed,
      - tongue tip to pallet,
      - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
      Room Condition: Darkened room
      - One candle
      - Incense
      - Essential Oil - (Rainforest Flowers+water on burner)
      - Bell
      Pre-session: Sip of water
      - full body stretch (3 times).
      Mind Chatter: Medium - High.
      Waves of bliss: None.
      Experience: Good Session.

      Result: Feeling slightly ill then explored meditation depth.

      Feeling "under the weather" at the start of the session. Was not sure if it
      was because I did not sleep well or possibly something I ate last night.
      Amazingly, by the end of the session all symptoms had gone. What happened?
      Was it all in my mind, or did the meditation give my body the space to
      correct the problem?

      Explored meditation depth. Developed the analogy of meditation as entering
      an elevator without buttons for selecting floors. You enter at ground level,
      then feel yourself moving up. Then the elevator stops and the doors open.
      You come out, explore a little, then return to the elevator and take another
      little trip. Sometimes the elevator doors do not close so you simply wait.
      Sometimes they close but you do not move - the doors open again on the same
      floor. Sometimes you enter and are accelerated up several floors. Very
      rarely you come out on a new floor you have never explored before.
      Eventually you develop an acceptance that something greater is controlling
      the elevator and has planned every stop.
    • eveneon
      ... entering ... ground level, ... open. ... take another ... simply wait. ... the same ... Very ... controlling the elevator and has planned every stop. Love
      Message 2 of 21 , Nov 4, 2002
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        --- In meditationsocietyofamerica@y..., "Tony" <tosime@b...> wrote:
        > Explored meditation depth. Developed the analogy of meditation as
        entering
        > an elevator without buttons for selecting floors. You enter at
        ground level,
        > then feel yourself moving up. Then the elevator stops and the doors
        open.
        > You come out, explore a little, then return to the elevator and
        take another
        > little trip. Sometimes the elevator doors do not close so you
        simply wait.
        > Sometimes they close but you do not move - the doors open again on
        the same
        > floor. Sometimes you enter and are accelerated up several floors.
        Very
        > rarely you come out on a new floor you have never explored before.
        > Eventually you develop an acceptance that something greater is
        controlling the elevator and has planned every stop.

        Love this!
      • Tony
        Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 05 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:15 a.m. Duration: 66 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
        Message 3 of 21 , Nov 5, 2002
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          Journal Entry - tosime
          Date: November 05
          Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
          Time: 07:15 a.m.
          Duration: 66 minutes (open)
          Posture: Seated on chair
          Body: Eyes closed,
          - tongue tip to pallet,
          - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
          Room Condition: Darkened room
          - One candle
          - Incense
          - Essential Oil - (Rainforest Flowers+water on burner)
          - Bell
          Pre-session: Sip of water
          - full body stretch (3 times).
          Previous day's influence: Posts from 'G' and Eve.
          Mind Chatter: Medium - Low.
          Waves of bliss: 2.
          Experience: Very Good Session.

          Result:

          'G' and Eve's posts were so inspiring that I started my session imagining
          that the three of us were meditating together. This gave me a very peaceful
          feeling and helped reduce my mind chatter. Chanted a silent OM during this
          period.

          Mind wandered on a number of topics influenced by recent events. Some
          solutions to problems and some 'creative imagery'.

          Able to still my mind for brief periods and go deeper into my meditation.

          Experienced a wave of bliss - very light. Towards the end of the session my
          'creative imagery' resulted in another wave of bliss of a different quality.

          Overall a very good session. I ended feeling rested - much more so than when
          I woke up.
        • G
          ... sure if it was because I did not sleep well or possibly something I ate last night. ... happened? ... to correct the problem? G hhahahahahaha
          Message 4 of 21 , Nov 5, 2002
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            --- In meditationsocietyofamerica@y..., "Tony" <tosime@b...> wrote:

            >
            > Result: Feeling slightly ill then explored meditation depth.
            >
            > Feeling "under the weather" at the start of the session. Was not
            sure if it > was because I did not sleep well or possibly something I
            ate last night.
            > Amazingly, by the end of the session all symptoms had gone. What
            happened?
            > Was it all in my mind, or did the meditation give my body the space
            to > correct the problem?

            G hhahahahahaha everything within the transient world experience
            is simply mind created - sustained - or demolished... once you were
            no longer holding it or giving it attention and life it simply
            dissipated as non-essential...

            Love shanti om ...g...
            in rishikesh...
          • Tony
            Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 10 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:45 a.m. Duration: 66 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
            Message 5 of 21 , Nov 10, 2002
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              Journal Entry - tosime
              Date: November 10
              Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
              Time: 07:45 a.m.
              Duration: 66 minutes (open)
              Posture: Seated on chair
              Body: Eyes closed,
              - tongue tip to pallet,
              - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
              Room Condition: Darkened room
              - One candle
              - Incense
              - Essential Oil - (Dawn+water on burner)
              - Bell
              Pre-session: Sip of water
              - full body stretch (3 times).
              Previous day's influence: Training delivery.
              Mind Chatter: Medium.
              Waves of bliss: none.
              Experience: Good Session.

              Result:

              Started still basking from the warm feelings from the training courses I
              delivered during the last 3 days. Lots of ideas for improving the courses
              and there were powerful transformations in people as they made pyridine
              shifts.

              Noticed how my transitions between the stages of my meditation are
              different. Why, when my physical body is calm and there is no thought (or
              very little thought), there is a swell of inner sounds during the
              transition? What is happening at this time? Is it that my consciousness is
              expanding so I become aware of things that were formerly beyond my
              consciousness?

              Towards the end of the session I felt as if I was no longer in control. My
              eyes opened involuntary for a few minutes and I took in the scene, then
              closed them again and came out of the session.

              During today's session I was able to recreate different scenes and events.
              For example I imagined myself living in a different house in a remote
              location. I kept wondering whether real life events are actually better than
              the imagined event. I seemed to be developing an indifference between them.

              During the session I experienced brief body movements as if I was being
              gently manipulated.

              A good session today. Feeling very peaceful and relaxed.
            • Tony
              I am having problems managing a flood of mails so I am simply posting regular stuff for the time being. Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 11 Type:
              Message 6 of 21 , Nov 11, 2002
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                I am having problems managing a flood of mails so I am simply posting
                regular stuff for the time being.

                Journal Entry - tosime
                Date: November 11
                Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                Time: 07:05 a.m.
                Duration: 49 minutes (open)
                Posture: Seated on chair
                Body: Eyes closed,
                - tongue tip to pallet,
                - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                Room Condition: Darkened room
                - One candle
                - Incense
                - Essential Oil - (Dawn+water on burner)
                - Bell
                Pre-session: Sip of water
                - full body stretch (3 times).
                Previous day's influence: Still the training delivery.
                Mind Chatter: Medium.
                Waves of bliss: none.
                Experience: Very Good Session.

                Result:

                Very good session. Still having warm feelings from the training session 3
                days ago.

                Decided to take a closer look at mind chatter.

                First I looked at the images that come and go. Rather than see the pictures
                I decided to look at how the pictures came and went. Developed an image of a
                man at a counter reaching behind him to pull out a large card from on of the
                shelves. As soon as he places the card on the counter it becomes an image in
                my mind. He is a friendly person and smiles and waves at me. He is ready to
                co-operate. What I see is that all he is trying to do is select the best
                picture for whatever thought I have. He has millions of pictures and tries
                his best to find the most suitable one. I ask him to slow down a little,
                relax and for a brief period, do not send me any pictures. He nods agreement
                and gives me a thumbs up sign. The images slow down and almost stop
                completely.

                I then look at my voice-over or the running commentary. I translate this to
                a stand up comedian who is sitting on a tall stool while holding a
                microphone. He is speaking all my thoughts. I give him a signal to stop
                speaking for a while. He shrugs his shoulders - he might co-operate.

                For a brief period the images stop and the mind chatter stops. The inner
                sounds come to the foreground and become very prominent. I then take on the
                identity of an inner sound. It grows and starts a wave of bliss. Just as it
                starts, I question what is happening and immediately my stand up comedian
                voices my questioning and the picture man places an image on the counter.

                I sigh - at least I had a brief moment of no-thought and no images. Decided
                to give up this effort for the mean time and asked the image man to give me
                a pleasant scene. I was put on the warm beach of a coral island. I was
                walking into the warm water. The whole scene was very beautiful and my body
                responded as if it was really happening. In some ways it felt better than
                the real thing.

                Came out of my meditation feeling calm and refreshed.
              • Tony
                I am still having problems managing a flood of mails so I am simply posting regular stuff for the time being. Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 12 Type:
                Message 7 of 21 , Nov 12, 2002
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                  I am still having problems managing a flood of mails so I am simply posting
                  regular stuff for the time being.

                  Journal Entry - tosime
                  Date: November 12
                  Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                  Time: 07:40 a.m.
                  Duration: 55 minutes (open)
                  Posture: Seated on chair
                  Body: Eyes closed,
                  - tongue tip to pallet,
                  - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                  Room Condition: Darkened room
                  - One candle
                  - Incense
                  - Essential Oil - (Lavender+water on burner)
                  - Bell
                  Pre-session: Sip of water
                  - full body stretch (3 times).
                  Previous day's influence: Second yoga class.
                  Mind Chatter: Medium.
                  Waves of bliss: Two.
                  Experience: Excellent Session.

                  Result:

                  Had many, varied experiences today - I will be lucky if I can remember half
                  of them.

                  Decided to reach a no-mind state without thinking about the process. No
                  analogies, just a simple stilling my mind.

                  Before then, I went through the usual period of physical relaxation and
                  giving my mind freedom to roam until I was relaxed enough to start a gradual
                  shut down in thinking.

                  During this period I saw how the previous day's incidents surfaced inside
                  different situations. For example a feeling of curiosity about something I
                  saw would surface as the same feeling coming up in a different situation.
                  Once I saw the link to the previous day's incidence, the whole scene
                  dissolved. As soon as I understood the process, I did not have to wait for
                  the new scene to play itself out. All I needed to do was recognize the
                  feeling and link it to the previous day's incidence and I could pass that
                  episode much quicker than before. Did this a few times and it accelerated my
                  movement through that phase or stage in my meditation.

                  After stilling my mind, I felt stirrings of a wave of bliss. Just after the
                  initial stirring I had this "knowing" that this wave would peak (most
                  stirrings do not peak). There was no physical or "mental" indication that it
                  would peak - just a strange knowing that seemed to have no form. My wave
                  peaked. I then focused on the "knowing" and my whole body erupted as if to
                  confirm that I had discovered something very important. My lower back (where
                  I had felt pain) adjusted itself as if to confirm that this was what it was
                  trying to tell me all the time. I had another wave of bliss.

                  This intuitive sensation seems like an important door I have just opened.
                  The problem is that the door has no visible handle or frame - nothing that
                  would make it look like a door. You only knew it was a door when you went
                  through it and noticed the difference in how the world appeared.

                  By now all the other experiences during this meditation have faded from
                  memory. This was a beautiful session. I can imagine how empty life would be
                  without meditation!
                • Tony
                  I am having problems managing a flood of mails so I am simply posting regular stuff for the time being. Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 13 Type:
                  Message 8 of 21 , Nov 13, 2002
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                    I am having problems managing a flood of mails so I am simply posting
                    regular stuff for the time being.

                    Journal Entry - tosime
                    Date: November 13
                    Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                    Time: 07:30 a.m.
                    Duration: 45 minutes (open)
                    Posture: Seated on chair
                    Body: Eyes closed,
                    - tongue tip to pallet,
                    - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                    Room Condition: Darkened room
                    - One candle
                    - Incense
                    - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                    - Bell
                    Pre-session: Sip of water
                    - full body stretch (3 times).
                    Previous day's influence: Third yoga class.
                    Mind Chatter: Low.
                    Waves of bliss: One slight.
                    Experience: Fair Session.

                    Result:

                    Light simple session.

                    Wanted to explore the intuitive "knowing" I experienced yesterday. Nothing
                    came up.

                    Very little mind chatter.

                    Felt an itch in my right arm. Normally I would have scratched it. Since I
                    was meditating, decided to remain still. The itch triggered a minor wave of
                    bliss.

                    Not much activity today. Very simple session. Reached very deep levels of
                    physical relaxation and the inner sounds were quite strong at one point.

                    Came out of the session quite abruptly.
                  • Tony
                    Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 14 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 03:10 a.m. Duration: 53 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                    Message 9 of 21 , Nov 14, 2002
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                      Journal Entry - tosime
                      Date: November 14
                      Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                      Time: 03:10 a.m.
                      Duration: 53 minutes (open)
                      Posture: Seated on chair
                      Body: Eyes closed,
                      - tongue tip to pallet,
                      - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                      Room Condition: Darkened room
                      - One candle
                      - Incense
                      - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                      - Bell
                      Pre-session: Sip of water
                      - full body stretch (3 times).
                      Previous day's influence: Documentary on body decomposition (Death Farm?).
                      Mind Chatter: Low.
                      Waves of bliss: None.
                      Experience: Good Session.

                      Result:

                      Physical recovery from a hard gym session combined with yoga working slack
                      muscles resulting in soreness and fatigue. Slept early and work up in the
                      middle of the night. Decided to have an early meditation.

                      Noticed how body processes are very sensitive to the most subtle thought. I
                      felt as if part of my mind was probing me to see if I was ready for new
                      experiences. I resisted very subtlety but my mind responded instantly and
                      strongly to the resistance and backed away - even after I tried to simulate
                      acceptance. Very strangely this led to thoughts about OBEs.

                      I experienced a major surge of inner sounds when the idea of having an OBE
                      came up. It was as if my body and mind were preparing for an OBE. Everything
                      seemed set but I could not trigger an exit. Did not really feel like doing
                      it even though my body and mind seemed like they wanted it and were ready.

                      This experience reminded me of a documentary on lightning. Certain "charge
                      channels" (I can't remember the technical term) are formed prior to the
                      lightning strike. These flow from the target to the source of the lightning
                      and the lightning then flows along these channels when the strike occurs. I
                      see a similar process happening in meditation. The mind creates these
                      channels for the "events" to flow through. The slightest doubt or hesitation
                      breaks or closes the channels.

                      Came out of the meditation very abruptly.
                    • Tony
                      Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 15 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:30 a.m. Duration: 55 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                      Message 10 of 21 , Nov 15, 2002
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                        Journal Entry - tosime
                        Date: November 15
                        Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                        Time: 07:30 a.m.
                        Duration: 55 minutes (open)
                        Posture: Seated on chair
                        Body: Eyes closed,
                        - tongue tip to pallet,
                        - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                        Room Condition: Darkened room
                        - One candle
                        - Incense - one stick
                        - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                        Pre-session: Ring Bell
                        - Sip of water
                        - Ear plugs
                        - full body stretch (3 times).
                        Previous day's influence: Meditation session.
                        Mind Chatter: Medium - Low.
                        Waves of bliss: None.
                        Experience: Good Session.

                        Result:

                        Relaxed Session. Focused on keeping channels open (based on yesterday's
                        session).

                        Aim is not to react to anything that comes up - no matter how unusual. A
                        mental state of no anticipation and complete openness - quite vulnerable.

                        Turned into an easy, relaxed session. Lots of stillness and peace. Very low
                        mind chatter and very deep physical relaxation.

                        Inner sounds got quite high at one point. The surge in inner sounds almost
                        felt like a wave of bliss without the climax.

                        The keeping channels open approach did not induce any new experiences but
                        did point the way to a smoother more relaxed session.

                        Finished feeling refreshed and well rested.
                      • Tony
                        Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 18 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 08:45 a.m. Duration: 38 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                        Message 11 of 21 , Nov 18, 2002
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                          Journal Entry - tosime
                          Date: November 18
                          Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                          Time: 08:45 a.m.
                          Duration: 38 minutes (open)
                          Posture: Seated on chair
                          Body: Eyes closed,
                          - tongue tip to pallet,
                          - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                          Room Condition: Darkened room
                          - One candle
                          - Incense - one stick
                          - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                          Pre-session: Ring Bell
                          - Sip of water
                          - Ear plugs
                          - full body stretch (3 times).
                          Previous day's influence: Training delivery.
                          Mind Chatter: Medium.
                          Waves of bliss: None.
                          Experience: Good Session.

                          Result:

                          Explored how to reach deeper levels of relaxation, especially when there is
                          no physical feedback after a certain point.

                          The last physical feedback I get is a slight drooling sensation (strangely
                          the negative connotations have gone and have now become positive). After
                          that, feedback is basically, easier control over mind chatter and certain
                          inner sounds that start up.

                          Explored the importance of the inner "knowing". This is an awareness of
                          something that will happen when there is no sensation that this knowing has
                          come. This is hard to put into words. Imagine being alone in a room. Then
                          suddenly behind you a person materializes. However you cannot see the person
                          and the only way you know someone is there is when you "decide" to sense for
                          the person. When you do this, the person becomes visible (I guess intuition
                          is a good word for this). The key for me is how to "decide" to sense for the
                          person. There is nothing "obvious" to key into. I guess a certain type of
                          receptivity is needed. However further than this is the desire to "become"
                          this "knowing". Again, very hard to put into words.

                          When I explored these thoughts, I felt a strong affirmative sensation. Deep
                          levels of relaxation seems to be the best approach even though it is not
                          necessary or sufficient.

                          After a certain level of relaxation I could feel my lower back adjusting
                          very slightly. I sense that in any fixed position, your muscles are
                          continually adjusting to shift the strain. I think I was able to feel this
                          happening.
                        • tosime
                          Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 20 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:30 a.m. Duration: 43 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                          Message 12 of 21 , Nov 20, 2002
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                            Journal Entry - tosime
                            Date: November 20
                            Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                            Time: 07:30 a.m.
                            Duration: 43 minutes (open)
                            Posture: Seated on chair
                            Body: Eyes closed,
                            - tongue tip to pallet,
                            - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                            Room Condition: Darkened room
                            - One candle
                            - Incense - one stick
                            - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                            Pre-session: Ring Bell
                            - Sip of water
                            - Ear plugs
                            - full body stretch (3 times).
                            Previous day's influence: Solving a PC problem.
                            Mind Chatter: Medium.
                            Waves of bliss: None.
                            Experience: Very Good Session.

                            Result:

                            Missed yesterday's session as I was up most of the night (and next day)
                            trying to solve a software glitch on my PC. Eventually solved it when my
                            inner state was calm.

                            Explored the importance of feeling your inner state at all times. In
                            meditation our physical stillness allows us to observe our inner state very
                            clearly. With inner sounds meditation I am always amazed at how much
                            activity there is even when we are physically and mentally calm.

                            Explored how external events can be filtered through the lens of our inner
                            state. Even turbulent external events help us to observe our inner state as
                            we watch our reaction. I look forward to the time when I no longer see
                            people but instead see their inner state and my reflection in their inner
                            state.

                            Noticed today how my better meditation sessions happen when I take my time
                            during the preparation for meditation. Today, just before lighting the
                            candle, I decided to clean the candle holder. This action brought a lot of
                            calm. My full body stretch is a sort of yoga pose. Today I put more
                            awareness into the action and extended the stretch and deepened my breaths.

                            Very reluctant to come out of my meditation since it was so pleasant.
                            Eventually I came out gently. Very good session today.
                          • tosime
                            Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 20 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:30 a.m. Duration: 57 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                            Message 13 of 21 , Nov 22, 2002
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                              Journal Entry - tosime
                              Date: November 20
                              Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                              Time: 07:30 a.m.
                              Duration: 57 minutes (open)
                              Posture: Seated on chair
                              Body: Eyes closed,
                              - tongue tip to pallet,
                              - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                              Room Condition: Darkened room
                              - One candle
                              - Incense - one stick
                              - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                              Pre-session: Ring Bell
                              - Sip of water
                              - Ear plugs
                              - full body stretch (3 times).
                              Previous day's influence: None.
                              Mind Chatter: Low.
                              Waves of bliss: 2-slight.
                              Experience: Good Session.

                              Result:
                              Simple session. Focus on physical relaxation.

                              Very deep levels of physical relaxation. Became very sensitive to physical
                              sensations. The slightest sensation on my skin would send waves of
                              sensations all through my body.

                              Very low levels of mind chatter. Noticed that where there was a scene with
                              another person, they spoke with a voice that was me imitating that person.

                              Major project meeting today - good relaxation in preparation so I am in the
                              best frame of mind.
                            • tosime
                              Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 22 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:10 a.m. Duration: 40 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                              Message 14 of 21 , Nov 22, 2002
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                                Journal Entry - tosime
                                Date: November 22
                                Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                Time: 07:10 a.m.
                                Duration: 40 minutes (open)
                                Posture: Seated on chair
                                Body: Eyes closed,
                                - tongue tip to pallet,
                                - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                Room Condition: Darkened room
                                - One candle
                                - Incense - one stick
                                - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                                Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                - Sip of water
                                - Ear plugs
                                - full body stretch (3 times).
                                Previous day's influence: Although an excellent day, my interpretation was
                                the major factor
                                Mind Chatter: Medium.
                                Waves of bliss: None.
                                Experience: Good Session.

                                Result:

                                Interesting imagery of being enveloped by a cloak of inner sounds. Then as
                                meditation progressed each layer of the cloak unfolded to reveal deeper
                                layers within.

                                Each layer revealed deeper levels of stillness and peace.

                                Each layer resulted in less body sensation. Nice sense of peace as each
                                layer unfolded. Good sense that most problems are mind created.

                                Ended quite suddenly.
                              • tosime
                                Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 23 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 05:00 a.m. Duration: ? (open) Posture: Seated on chair Body:
                                Message 15 of 21 , Nov 25, 2002
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                                  Journal Entry - tosime
                                  Date: November 23
                                  Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                  Time: 05:00 a.m.
                                  Duration: ? (open)
                                  Posture: Seated on chair
                                  Body: Eyes closed,
                                  - tongue tip to pallet,
                                  - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                  Room Condition: Darkened room
                                  - One candle
                                  - Incense - one stick
                                  - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                                  Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                  - Sip of water
                                  - Ear plugs
                                  - full body stretch (3 times).
                                  Previous day's influence: None.
                                  Mind Chatter: ?.
                                  Waves of bliss: None.
                                  Experience: Poor Session.

                                  Result:

                                  Power cut and generator problems interrupted session. Tried to continue
                                  later but the disruption was too great. Woke early to deliver a training
                                  session that day.
                                • tosime
                                  Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 24 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:10 a.m. Duration: 61 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                                  Message 16 of 21 , Nov 25, 2002
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                                    Journal Entry - tosime
                                    Date: November 24
                                    Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                    Time: 07:10 a.m.
                                    Duration: 61 minutes (open)
                                    Posture: Seated on chair
                                    Body: Eyes closed,
                                    - tongue tip to pallet,
                                    - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                    Room Condition: Darkened room
                                    - One candle
                                    - Incense - one stick
                                    - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                                    Pre-session: Ring Bell (forgot)
                                    - Sip of water
                                    - Ear plugs
                                    - full body stretch (3 times).
                                    Previous day's influence: Can't remember.
                                    Mind Chatter: Medium - high.
                                    Waves of bliss: None.
                                    Experience: Good Session.

                                    Result: Unusual session

                                    No bell - forgot to ring
                                    Started by staring at the flickering candle - it was captivating, seemed
                                    like it was alive!
                                    No orderly progression - body and mind seemed to be on different tracks.
                                    Seemed like my body was doing one thing and my mind was doing something
                                    else.

                                    However, very deep levels of physical relaxation. Loosing sensation in parts
                                    of my body such as face.
                                  • tosime
                                    Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 25 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:30 a.m. Duration: 41 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                                    Message 17 of 21 , Nov 25, 2002
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                                      Journal Entry - tosime
                                      Date: November 25
                                      Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                      Time: 07:30 a.m.
                                      Duration: 41 minutes (open)
                                      Posture: Seated on chair
                                      Body: Eyes closed,
                                      - tongue tip to pallet,
                                      - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                      Room Condition: Darkened room
                                      - One candle
                                      - Incense - one stick
                                      - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                                      Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                      - Sip of water
                                      - Ear plugs
                                      - full body stretch (3 times).
                                      Previous day's influence: Nonduality digest post - American Beauty.
                                      Mind Chatter: Medium.
                                      Waves of bliss: None.
                                      Experience: Very Good Session.

                                      Result: Interesting session today - hard to put into words

                                      Quote from post
                                      "...I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes when
                                      you die.
                                      First off that one second isn't one second at all, it stretches on forever
                                      like an
                                      ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at boy scout camp watching
                                      falling stars, and yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street,
                                      or
                                      my grandmother's hands and the way her skin seemed like paper, and the first
                                      time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new firebird. And Janie. And Janie. And
                                      Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed-off about what happened to me, but
                                      it's hard to stay mad when there's so much Beauty in the world. Sometimes I
                                      feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much, and my heart fills
                                      up like a
                                      balloon that's about to burst, and then I remember to relax and stop trying
                                      to
                                      hold onto it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel
                                      anything but
                                      gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea
                                      what I'm talking about, but don't worry, you will someday..."

                                      -Lester Burnam from "American Beauty"

                                      Normal start - allowed my mind to be free until my body had relaxed enough
                                      for me to direct the meditation. Today I decided to find out how long this
                                      takes, so when the inner sounds changed tone to signal the transition to the
                                      next stage, I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. It was about 20
                                      minutes into the session.

                                      After closing my eyes, I realized that I had gone backwards about a minute
                                      or so into the meditation. I had to wait for about a minute to get back to
                                      the "take over" point. The change in tone happened again and I took control
                                      as usual.

                                      The initial dialogue in American Beauty came up. It dawned on me that I was
                                      very attached to my thoughts - as a running commentary. I said to myself,
                                      "what if I became free of my attachments - what if I found the....[off
                                      button]". I did not complete the thought since I had switched off the
                                      running commentary. I felt like I was floating in zero gravity. I also
                                      noticed a pleasant feeling of release in my stomach area as if a normal
                                      tightness was suddenly released. I then decided (without the usual
                                      commentary) to release the attachment to my body. Creative ideas popped up
                                      (work related). This gave me the realization that these ideas were already
                                      in my mind but it took the release of attachment to my thoughts to release
                                      or see the ideas.

                                      After I released the attachment to my physical body, it felt as if it was
                                      moving of its own accord. I felt a series of involuntary movements almost
                                      like a slow gentle dance - it felt very strange.

                                      The whole experience was a little overwhelming so I decided to come out of
                                      my meditation - quite a lot to think about. Or quite a lot to not think
                                      about!
                                    • tosime
                                      Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 26 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:35 a.m. Duration: 36 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                                      Message 18 of 21 , Nov 26, 2002
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                                        Journal Entry - tosime
                                        Date: November 26
                                        Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                        Time: 07:35 a.m.
                                        Duration: 36 minutes (open)
                                        Posture: Seated on chair
                                        Body: Eyes closed,
                                        - tongue tip to pallet,
                                        - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                        Room Condition: Darkened room
                                        - One candle
                                        - Incense - one stick
                                        - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                                        Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                        - Sip of water
                                        - Ear plugs
                                        - full body stretch (3 times).
                                        Previous day's influence: None.
                                        Mind Chatter: Low - Medium.
                                        Waves of bliss: None.
                                        Experience: Good Session.

                                        Result:

                                        It was hard to close my eyes in the beginning. I felt some muscle movement
                                        as my body relaxed. Saw the close link between thoughts and subtle muscle
                                        tension. Not sure which influenced which in that muscle tension also
                                        influences thought.

                                        Saw into the future where we all wear devices that measure whole body muscle
                                        tension and sends a signal to a device we wear in our ear. This device
                                        trains us to relax during the day and alerts us to how we respond
                                        subconsciously to people and events (as well as our thoughts). I was reading
                                        the instructions on the best place to place the device on the body since
                                        different people had different ideal spots.

                                        Lots of future thoughts - my future in different directions. Had a good
                                        sense that we actually create what we think of as reality.

                                        Good body sensitivity without the usual deep levels of relaxation - wondered
                                        if reaching deeper levels of physical relaxation was the best approach to
                                        making progress in meditation.

                                        Stopped thought for a brief period just to relax and enjoy the stillness in
                                        the meditation. This did not last long as more thoughts came in through the
                                        back door. These thoughts convinced me that since I was in complete control,
                                        it did not matter what I thought about since I could always stop the
                                        thoughts at any time. Famous last thoughts!

                                        Came out of the meditation thinking I had spent an hour only to find it just
                                        36 minutes.
                                      • tosime
                                        Journal Entry - tosime Date: December 12 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:35 a.m. Duration: 57 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                                        Message 19 of 21 , Dec 12, 2002
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                                          Journal Entry - tosime
                                          Date: December 12
                                          Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                          Time: 07:35 a.m.
                                          Duration: 57 minutes (open)
                                          Posture: Seated on chair
                                          Body: Eyes closed,
                                          - tongue tip to pallet,
                                          - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                          Room Condition: Darkened room
                                          - One candle
                                          - Incense - one stick
                                          - Essential Oil - (Dawn+water on burner)
                                          Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                          - Sip of water
                                          - Ear plugs
                                          - full body stretch (3 times).
                                          Previous day's influence: Guru_satsang post
                                          "Ramana Maharishi - Who Am I?"
                                          Mind Chatter: Low.
                                          Waves of bliss: None.
                                          Chant (silent): "Real freedom is freedom from thought"
                                          Experience: Good Session.

                                          Result:

                                          Stopped posting for no particular reason even though I kept writing my
                                          journal entries.

                                          Practice update from last journal post:
                                          1) Each time I strike the bell I clear my mind of whatever is uppermost in
                                          my thoughts at that moment. When my mind is relatively clear, I then "strike
                                          in" the frame of mind I want for my meditation - relaxed, still, without
                                          expectation.

                                          2) I have started chanting a phrase I make up just before I start my
                                          session, if I feel inclined to chant - the chant is silent.

                                          Chant was very effective in reducing mind chatter. Was able to observe mind
                                          activity very clearly. Only a few times (5 to 8)was mind activity strong
                                          enough to break the chant.

                                          Relaxed sufficiently for some form of intuitive control to take me over. I
                                          realized this when one of my fingers twitched to snap me out of one the mind
                                          excursions. Inner sounds increased when this happened.

                                          Occasionally I would stop the chant to explore the mindless state. I found
                                          it easier to maintain this state. Mind chatter would creep in gradually and
                                          I would resume the chant. Noticed a very distant, very faint form of mind
                                          chatter in the background.

                                          Explored the intuitive part of my mind. I found it very hard to explore
                                          since there was no physical sense of its presence. It is only when the
                                          "intuition" becomes conscious do I know it has "done" something. I feel like
                                          I am gradually developing my "sense" of it. It is almost like a new sense
                                          altogether. It is very very subtle until it reacts with my physical body or
                                          transfers a thought to my mind.

                                          All in all a good session.
                                        • tosime
                                          Journal Entry - tosime Date: December 13 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 08:35 a.m. Duration: 50 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                                          Message 20 of 21 , Dec 13, 2002
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                                            Journal Entry - tosime
                                            Date: December 13
                                            Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                            Time: 08:35 a.m.
                                            Duration: 50 minutes (open)
                                            Posture: Seated on chair
                                            Body: Eyes closed,
                                            - tongue tip to pallet,
                                            - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                            Room Condition: Darkened room
                                            - One candle
                                            - Incense - one stick
                                            - Essential Oil - (Dawn+water on burner)
                                            Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                            (Ring out distractions - Ring in peace)
                                            - Sip of water
                                            - Ear plugs
                                            - full body stretch (3 times).
                                            Previous day's influence: Reading my journal post as a receiver
                                            Mind Chatter: Low - Medium.
                                            Waves of bliss: None.
                                            Chant (silent): "...Reaching for the sky just to surrender"
                                            Experience: Good Session.

                                            Result:

                                            A Leonard Cohen song kept turning in my mind yesterday so I decided to use
                                            it in my meditation.

                                            The Stranger Song
                                            It's true that all the men you knew were dealers
                                            who said they were through with dealing
                                            Every time you gave them shelter
                                            I know that kind of man
                                            It's hard to hold the hand of anyone
                                            who is reaching for the sky just to surrender,
                                            who is reaching for the sky just to surrender.

                                            And then sweeping up the jokers that he left behind
                                            you find he did not leave you very much
                                            not even laughter
                                            Like any dealer he was watching for the card
                                            that is so high and wild
                                            he'll never need to deal another
                                            He was just some Joseph looking for a manger
                                            He was just some Joseph looking for a manger...

                                            "Reaching for the sky just to surrender"

                                            Just after the start I "felt" the scent of the oil burner. This was more a
                                            tingling sensation in my nose than the scent of the oil burner. I opened my
                                            eyes and looked at the oil burner. I then had the insight that understanding
                                            intuition needs a different sensory organ (i.e. eyes) even though the normal
                                            perception is through thought.

                                            It got a little complex, but I felt that intuition is really the part of you
                                            that creates the world we think we are perceiving. What we see as intuition
                                            is really seeing what we have created before it comes to us through our
                                            normal senses. I did not have a full understanding of this. However it
                                            helped me to see problems as internal conflicts rather than external
                                            situations.

                                            After writing this I lost the other insights from this meditation session.
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