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FW: Journal Entry - November 01 - tosime

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  • Tony
    Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 01 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:35 a.m. Duration: 39 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
    Message 1 of 21 , Nov 3, 2002
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      Journal Entry - tosime
      Date: November 01
      Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
      Time: 07:35 a.m.
      Duration: 39 minutes (open)
      Posture: Seated on chair
      Body: Eyes closed,
      - tongue tip to pallet,
      - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
      Room Condition: Darkened room
      - One candle
      - Incense
      - Essential Oil - (Rainforest Flowers+water on burner)
      - Bell
      Pre-session: Sip of water
      - full body stretch (3 times).
      Mind Chatter: Medium - High.
      Waves of bliss: None.
      Experience: Good Session.

      Result: Quick session due to a scheduled meeting.

      My attempt to go faster through the stages resulted in less mind chatter as
      my focus was on moving through the stages.

      The faster pace resulted in a denser flow of inner sounds. Passed stages
      fairly quickly - by stage 4 the sounds were lighter and more distinct.

      Had a good observation of my mind at work giving me creative options for
      some of the things I want to do. Explored the creative process but drew a
      blank.

      Came out of the session, then strangely decided restart a second meditation.
      I started in a later stage (about stage 3 or 4) but I moved in a new
      direction. Did not have time to explore this but I sensed that this could be
      an interesting approach to meditation. Rather than have one session for say
      40 minutes, I could try 4 sessions of 10 minutes each. Each start could
      point to a new direction.
    • Tony
      Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 04 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:20 a.m. Duration: 60 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
      Message 2 of 21 , Nov 4, 2002
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        Journal Entry - tosime
        Date: November 04
        Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
        Time: 07:20 a.m.
        Duration: 60 minutes (open)
        Posture: Seated on chair
        Body: Eyes closed,
        - tongue tip to pallet,
        - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
        Room Condition: Darkened room
        - One candle
        - Incense
        - Essential Oil - (Rainforest Flowers+water on burner)
        - Bell
        Pre-session: Sip of water
        - full body stretch (3 times).
        Mind Chatter: Medium - High.
        Waves of bliss: None.
        Experience: Good Session.

        Result: Feeling slightly ill then explored meditation depth.

        Feeling "under the weather" at the start of the session. Was not sure if it
        was because I did not sleep well or possibly something I ate last night.
        Amazingly, by the end of the session all symptoms had gone. What happened?
        Was it all in my mind, or did the meditation give my body the space to
        correct the problem?

        Explored meditation depth. Developed the analogy of meditation as entering
        an elevator without buttons for selecting floors. You enter at ground level,
        then feel yourself moving up. Then the elevator stops and the doors open.
        You come out, explore a little, then return to the elevator and take another
        little trip. Sometimes the elevator doors do not close so you simply wait.
        Sometimes they close but you do not move - the doors open again on the same
        floor. Sometimes you enter and are accelerated up several floors. Very
        rarely you come out on a new floor you have never explored before.
        Eventually you develop an acceptance that something greater is controlling
        the elevator and has planned every stop.
      • eveneon
        ... entering ... ground level, ... open. ... take another ... simply wait. ... the same ... Very ... controlling the elevator and has planned every stop. Love
        Message 3 of 21 , Nov 4, 2002
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          --- In meditationsocietyofamerica@y..., "Tony" <tosime@b...> wrote:
          > Explored meditation depth. Developed the analogy of meditation as
          entering
          > an elevator without buttons for selecting floors. You enter at
          ground level,
          > then feel yourself moving up. Then the elevator stops and the doors
          open.
          > You come out, explore a little, then return to the elevator and
          take another
          > little trip. Sometimes the elevator doors do not close so you
          simply wait.
          > Sometimes they close but you do not move - the doors open again on
          the same
          > floor. Sometimes you enter and are accelerated up several floors.
          Very
          > rarely you come out on a new floor you have never explored before.
          > Eventually you develop an acceptance that something greater is
          controlling the elevator and has planned every stop.

          Love this!
        • Tony
          Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 05 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:15 a.m. Duration: 66 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
          Message 4 of 21 , Nov 5, 2002
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            Journal Entry - tosime
            Date: November 05
            Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
            Time: 07:15 a.m.
            Duration: 66 minutes (open)
            Posture: Seated on chair
            Body: Eyes closed,
            - tongue tip to pallet,
            - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
            Room Condition: Darkened room
            - One candle
            - Incense
            - Essential Oil - (Rainforest Flowers+water on burner)
            - Bell
            Pre-session: Sip of water
            - full body stretch (3 times).
            Previous day's influence: Posts from 'G' and Eve.
            Mind Chatter: Medium - Low.
            Waves of bliss: 2.
            Experience: Very Good Session.

            Result:

            'G' and Eve's posts were so inspiring that I started my session imagining
            that the three of us were meditating together. This gave me a very peaceful
            feeling and helped reduce my mind chatter. Chanted a silent OM during this
            period.

            Mind wandered on a number of topics influenced by recent events. Some
            solutions to problems and some 'creative imagery'.

            Able to still my mind for brief periods and go deeper into my meditation.

            Experienced a wave of bliss - very light. Towards the end of the session my
            'creative imagery' resulted in another wave of bliss of a different quality.

            Overall a very good session. I ended feeling rested - much more so than when
            I woke up.
          • G
            ... sure if it was because I did not sleep well or possibly something I ate last night. ... happened? ... to correct the problem? G hhahahahahaha
            Message 5 of 21 , Nov 5, 2002
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              --- In meditationsocietyofamerica@y..., "Tony" <tosime@b...> wrote:

              >
              > Result: Feeling slightly ill then explored meditation depth.
              >
              > Feeling "under the weather" at the start of the session. Was not
              sure if it > was because I did not sleep well or possibly something I
              ate last night.
              > Amazingly, by the end of the session all symptoms had gone. What
              happened?
              > Was it all in my mind, or did the meditation give my body the space
              to > correct the problem?

              G hhahahahahaha everything within the transient world experience
              is simply mind created - sustained - or demolished... once you were
              no longer holding it or giving it attention and life it simply
              dissipated as non-essential...

              Love shanti om ...g...
              in rishikesh...
            • Tony
              Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 10 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:45 a.m. Duration: 66 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
              Message 6 of 21 , Nov 10, 2002
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                Journal Entry - tosime
                Date: November 10
                Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                Time: 07:45 a.m.
                Duration: 66 minutes (open)
                Posture: Seated on chair
                Body: Eyes closed,
                - tongue tip to pallet,
                - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                Room Condition: Darkened room
                - One candle
                - Incense
                - Essential Oil - (Dawn+water on burner)
                - Bell
                Pre-session: Sip of water
                - full body stretch (3 times).
                Previous day's influence: Training delivery.
                Mind Chatter: Medium.
                Waves of bliss: none.
                Experience: Good Session.

                Result:

                Started still basking from the warm feelings from the training courses I
                delivered during the last 3 days. Lots of ideas for improving the courses
                and there were powerful transformations in people as they made pyridine
                shifts.

                Noticed how my transitions between the stages of my meditation are
                different. Why, when my physical body is calm and there is no thought (or
                very little thought), there is a swell of inner sounds during the
                transition? What is happening at this time? Is it that my consciousness is
                expanding so I become aware of things that were formerly beyond my
                consciousness?

                Towards the end of the session I felt as if I was no longer in control. My
                eyes opened involuntary for a few minutes and I took in the scene, then
                closed them again and came out of the session.

                During today's session I was able to recreate different scenes and events.
                For example I imagined myself living in a different house in a remote
                location. I kept wondering whether real life events are actually better than
                the imagined event. I seemed to be developing an indifference between them.

                During the session I experienced brief body movements as if I was being
                gently manipulated.

                A good session today. Feeling very peaceful and relaxed.
              • Tony
                I am having problems managing a flood of mails so I am simply posting regular stuff for the time being. Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 11 Type:
                Message 7 of 21 , Nov 11, 2002
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                  I am having problems managing a flood of mails so I am simply posting
                  regular stuff for the time being.

                  Journal Entry - tosime
                  Date: November 11
                  Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                  Time: 07:05 a.m.
                  Duration: 49 minutes (open)
                  Posture: Seated on chair
                  Body: Eyes closed,
                  - tongue tip to pallet,
                  - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                  Room Condition: Darkened room
                  - One candle
                  - Incense
                  - Essential Oil - (Dawn+water on burner)
                  - Bell
                  Pre-session: Sip of water
                  - full body stretch (3 times).
                  Previous day's influence: Still the training delivery.
                  Mind Chatter: Medium.
                  Waves of bliss: none.
                  Experience: Very Good Session.

                  Result:

                  Very good session. Still having warm feelings from the training session 3
                  days ago.

                  Decided to take a closer look at mind chatter.

                  First I looked at the images that come and go. Rather than see the pictures
                  I decided to look at how the pictures came and went. Developed an image of a
                  man at a counter reaching behind him to pull out a large card from on of the
                  shelves. As soon as he places the card on the counter it becomes an image in
                  my mind. He is a friendly person and smiles and waves at me. He is ready to
                  co-operate. What I see is that all he is trying to do is select the best
                  picture for whatever thought I have. He has millions of pictures and tries
                  his best to find the most suitable one. I ask him to slow down a little,
                  relax and for a brief period, do not send me any pictures. He nods agreement
                  and gives me a thumbs up sign. The images slow down and almost stop
                  completely.

                  I then look at my voice-over or the running commentary. I translate this to
                  a stand up comedian who is sitting on a tall stool while holding a
                  microphone. He is speaking all my thoughts. I give him a signal to stop
                  speaking for a while. He shrugs his shoulders - he might co-operate.

                  For a brief period the images stop and the mind chatter stops. The inner
                  sounds come to the foreground and become very prominent. I then take on the
                  identity of an inner sound. It grows and starts a wave of bliss. Just as it
                  starts, I question what is happening and immediately my stand up comedian
                  voices my questioning and the picture man places an image on the counter.

                  I sigh - at least I had a brief moment of no-thought and no images. Decided
                  to give up this effort for the mean time and asked the image man to give me
                  a pleasant scene. I was put on the warm beach of a coral island. I was
                  walking into the warm water. The whole scene was very beautiful and my body
                  responded as if it was really happening. In some ways it felt better than
                  the real thing.

                  Came out of my meditation feeling calm and refreshed.
                • Tony
                  I am still having problems managing a flood of mails so I am simply posting regular stuff for the time being. Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 12 Type:
                  Message 8 of 21 , Nov 12, 2002
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                    I am still having problems managing a flood of mails so I am simply posting
                    regular stuff for the time being.

                    Journal Entry - tosime
                    Date: November 12
                    Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                    Time: 07:40 a.m.
                    Duration: 55 minutes (open)
                    Posture: Seated on chair
                    Body: Eyes closed,
                    - tongue tip to pallet,
                    - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                    Room Condition: Darkened room
                    - One candle
                    - Incense
                    - Essential Oil - (Lavender+water on burner)
                    - Bell
                    Pre-session: Sip of water
                    - full body stretch (3 times).
                    Previous day's influence: Second yoga class.
                    Mind Chatter: Medium.
                    Waves of bliss: Two.
                    Experience: Excellent Session.

                    Result:

                    Had many, varied experiences today - I will be lucky if I can remember half
                    of them.

                    Decided to reach a no-mind state without thinking about the process. No
                    analogies, just a simple stilling my mind.

                    Before then, I went through the usual period of physical relaxation and
                    giving my mind freedom to roam until I was relaxed enough to start a gradual
                    shut down in thinking.

                    During this period I saw how the previous day's incidents surfaced inside
                    different situations. For example a feeling of curiosity about something I
                    saw would surface as the same feeling coming up in a different situation.
                    Once I saw the link to the previous day's incidence, the whole scene
                    dissolved. As soon as I understood the process, I did not have to wait for
                    the new scene to play itself out. All I needed to do was recognize the
                    feeling and link it to the previous day's incidence and I could pass that
                    episode much quicker than before. Did this a few times and it accelerated my
                    movement through that phase or stage in my meditation.

                    After stilling my mind, I felt stirrings of a wave of bliss. Just after the
                    initial stirring I had this "knowing" that this wave would peak (most
                    stirrings do not peak). There was no physical or "mental" indication that it
                    would peak - just a strange knowing that seemed to have no form. My wave
                    peaked. I then focused on the "knowing" and my whole body erupted as if to
                    confirm that I had discovered something very important. My lower back (where
                    I had felt pain) adjusted itself as if to confirm that this was what it was
                    trying to tell me all the time. I had another wave of bliss.

                    This intuitive sensation seems like an important door I have just opened.
                    The problem is that the door has no visible handle or frame - nothing that
                    would make it look like a door. You only knew it was a door when you went
                    through it and noticed the difference in how the world appeared.

                    By now all the other experiences during this meditation have faded from
                    memory. This was a beautiful session. I can imagine how empty life would be
                    without meditation!
                  • Tony
                    I am having problems managing a flood of mails so I am simply posting regular stuff for the time being. Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 13 Type:
                    Message 9 of 21 , Nov 13, 2002
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                      I am having problems managing a flood of mails so I am simply posting
                      regular stuff for the time being.

                      Journal Entry - tosime
                      Date: November 13
                      Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                      Time: 07:30 a.m.
                      Duration: 45 minutes (open)
                      Posture: Seated on chair
                      Body: Eyes closed,
                      - tongue tip to pallet,
                      - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                      Room Condition: Darkened room
                      - One candle
                      - Incense
                      - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                      - Bell
                      Pre-session: Sip of water
                      - full body stretch (3 times).
                      Previous day's influence: Third yoga class.
                      Mind Chatter: Low.
                      Waves of bliss: One slight.
                      Experience: Fair Session.

                      Result:

                      Light simple session.

                      Wanted to explore the intuitive "knowing" I experienced yesterday. Nothing
                      came up.

                      Very little mind chatter.

                      Felt an itch in my right arm. Normally I would have scratched it. Since I
                      was meditating, decided to remain still. The itch triggered a minor wave of
                      bliss.

                      Not much activity today. Very simple session. Reached very deep levels of
                      physical relaxation and the inner sounds were quite strong at one point.

                      Came out of the session quite abruptly.
                    • Tony
                      Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 14 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 03:10 a.m. Duration: 53 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                      Message 10 of 21 , Nov 14, 2002
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                        Journal Entry - tosime
                        Date: November 14
                        Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                        Time: 03:10 a.m.
                        Duration: 53 minutes (open)
                        Posture: Seated on chair
                        Body: Eyes closed,
                        - tongue tip to pallet,
                        - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                        Room Condition: Darkened room
                        - One candle
                        - Incense
                        - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                        - Bell
                        Pre-session: Sip of water
                        - full body stretch (3 times).
                        Previous day's influence: Documentary on body decomposition (Death Farm?).
                        Mind Chatter: Low.
                        Waves of bliss: None.
                        Experience: Good Session.

                        Result:

                        Physical recovery from a hard gym session combined with yoga working slack
                        muscles resulting in soreness and fatigue. Slept early and work up in the
                        middle of the night. Decided to have an early meditation.

                        Noticed how body processes are very sensitive to the most subtle thought. I
                        felt as if part of my mind was probing me to see if I was ready for new
                        experiences. I resisted very subtlety but my mind responded instantly and
                        strongly to the resistance and backed away - even after I tried to simulate
                        acceptance. Very strangely this led to thoughts about OBEs.

                        I experienced a major surge of inner sounds when the idea of having an OBE
                        came up. It was as if my body and mind were preparing for an OBE. Everything
                        seemed set but I could not trigger an exit. Did not really feel like doing
                        it even though my body and mind seemed like they wanted it and were ready.

                        This experience reminded me of a documentary on lightning. Certain "charge
                        channels" (I can't remember the technical term) are formed prior to the
                        lightning strike. These flow from the target to the source of the lightning
                        and the lightning then flows along these channels when the strike occurs. I
                        see a similar process happening in meditation. The mind creates these
                        channels for the "events" to flow through. The slightest doubt or hesitation
                        breaks or closes the channels.

                        Came out of the meditation very abruptly.
                      • Tony
                        Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 15 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:30 a.m. Duration: 55 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                        Message 11 of 21 , Nov 15, 2002
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                          Journal Entry - tosime
                          Date: November 15
                          Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                          Time: 07:30 a.m.
                          Duration: 55 minutes (open)
                          Posture: Seated on chair
                          Body: Eyes closed,
                          - tongue tip to pallet,
                          - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                          Room Condition: Darkened room
                          - One candle
                          - Incense - one stick
                          - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                          Pre-session: Ring Bell
                          - Sip of water
                          - Ear plugs
                          - full body stretch (3 times).
                          Previous day's influence: Meditation session.
                          Mind Chatter: Medium - Low.
                          Waves of bliss: None.
                          Experience: Good Session.

                          Result:

                          Relaxed Session. Focused on keeping channels open (based on yesterday's
                          session).

                          Aim is not to react to anything that comes up - no matter how unusual. A
                          mental state of no anticipation and complete openness - quite vulnerable.

                          Turned into an easy, relaxed session. Lots of stillness and peace. Very low
                          mind chatter and very deep physical relaxation.

                          Inner sounds got quite high at one point. The surge in inner sounds almost
                          felt like a wave of bliss without the climax.

                          The keeping channels open approach did not induce any new experiences but
                          did point the way to a smoother more relaxed session.

                          Finished feeling refreshed and well rested.
                        • Tony
                          Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 18 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 08:45 a.m. Duration: 38 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                          Message 12 of 21 , Nov 18, 2002
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                            Journal Entry - tosime
                            Date: November 18
                            Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                            Time: 08:45 a.m.
                            Duration: 38 minutes (open)
                            Posture: Seated on chair
                            Body: Eyes closed,
                            - tongue tip to pallet,
                            - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                            Room Condition: Darkened room
                            - One candle
                            - Incense - one stick
                            - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                            Pre-session: Ring Bell
                            - Sip of water
                            - Ear plugs
                            - full body stretch (3 times).
                            Previous day's influence: Training delivery.
                            Mind Chatter: Medium.
                            Waves of bliss: None.
                            Experience: Good Session.

                            Result:

                            Explored how to reach deeper levels of relaxation, especially when there is
                            no physical feedback after a certain point.

                            The last physical feedback I get is a slight drooling sensation (strangely
                            the negative connotations have gone and have now become positive). After
                            that, feedback is basically, easier control over mind chatter and certain
                            inner sounds that start up.

                            Explored the importance of the inner "knowing". This is an awareness of
                            something that will happen when there is no sensation that this knowing has
                            come. This is hard to put into words. Imagine being alone in a room. Then
                            suddenly behind you a person materializes. However you cannot see the person
                            and the only way you know someone is there is when you "decide" to sense for
                            the person. When you do this, the person becomes visible (I guess intuition
                            is a good word for this). The key for me is how to "decide" to sense for the
                            person. There is nothing "obvious" to key into. I guess a certain type of
                            receptivity is needed. However further than this is the desire to "become"
                            this "knowing". Again, very hard to put into words.

                            When I explored these thoughts, I felt a strong affirmative sensation. Deep
                            levels of relaxation seems to be the best approach even though it is not
                            necessary or sufficient.

                            After a certain level of relaxation I could feel my lower back adjusting
                            very slightly. I sense that in any fixed position, your muscles are
                            continually adjusting to shift the strain. I think I was able to feel this
                            happening.
                          • tosime
                            Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 20 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:30 a.m. Duration: 43 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                            Message 13 of 21 , Nov 20, 2002
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                              Journal Entry - tosime
                              Date: November 20
                              Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                              Time: 07:30 a.m.
                              Duration: 43 minutes (open)
                              Posture: Seated on chair
                              Body: Eyes closed,
                              - tongue tip to pallet,
                              - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                              Room Condition: Darkened room
                              - One candle
                              - Incense - one stick
                              - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                              Pre-session: Ring Bell
                              - Sip of water
                              - Ear plugs
                              - full body stretch (3 times).
                              Previous day's influence: Solving a PC problem.
                              Mind Chatter: Medium.
                              Waves of bliss: None.
                              Experience: Very Good Session.

                              Result:

                              Missed yesterday's session as I was up most of the night (and next day)
                              trying to solve a software glitch on my PC. Eventually solved it when my
                              inner state was calm.

                              Explored the importance of feeling your inner state at all times. In
                              meditation our physical stillness allows us to observe our inner state very
                              clearly. With inner sounds meditation I am always amazed at how much
                              activity there is even when we are physically and mentally calm.

                              Explored how external events can be filtered through the lens of our inner
                              state. Even turbulent external events help us to observe our inner state as
                              we watch our reaction. I look forward to the time when I no longer see
                              people but instead see their inner state and my reflection in their inner
                              state.

                              Noticed today how my better meditation sessions happen when I take my time
                              during the preparation for meditation. Today, just before lighting the
                              candle, I decided to clean the candle holder. This action brought a lot of
                              calm. My full body stretch is a sort of yoga pose. Today I put more
                              awareness into the action and extended the stretch and deepened my breaths.

                              Very reluctant to come out of my meditation since it was so pleasant.
                              Eventually I came out gently. Very good session today.
                            • tosime
                              Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 20 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:30 a.m. Duration: 57 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                              Message 14 of 21 , Nov 22, 2002
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                                Journal Entry - tosime
                                Date: November 20
                                Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                Time: 07:30 a.m.
                                Duration: 57 minutes (open)
                                Posture: Seated on chair
                                Body: Eyes closed,
                                - tongue tip to pallet,
                                - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                Room Condition: Darkened room
                                - One candle
                                - Incense - one stick
                                - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                                Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                - Sip of water
                                - Ear plugs
                                - full body stretch (3 times).
                                Previous day's influence: None.
                                Mind Chatter: Low.
                                Waves of bliss: 2-slight.
                                Experience: Good Session.

                                Result:
                                Simple session. Focus on physical relaxation.

                                Very deep levels of physical relaxation. Became very sensitive to physical
                                sensations. The slightest sensation on my skin would send waves of
                                sensations all through my body.

                                Very low levels of mind chatter. Noticed that where there was a scene with
                                another person, they spoke with a voice that was me imitating that person.

                                Major project meeting today - good relaxation in preparation so I am in the
                                best frame of mind.
                              • tosime
                                Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 22 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:10 a.m. Duration: 40 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                                Message 15 of 21 , Nov 22, 2002
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                                  Journal Entry - tosime
                                  Date: November 22
                                  Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                  Time: 07:10 a.m.
                                  Duration: 40 minutes (open)
                                  Posture: Seated on chair
                                  Body: Eyes closed,
                                  - tongue tip to pallet,
                                  - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                  Room Condition: Darkened room
                                  - One candle
                                  - Incense - one stick
                                  - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                                  Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                  - Sip of water
                                  - Ear plugs
                                  - full body stretch (3 times).
                                  Previous day's influence: Although an excellent day, my interpretation was
                                  the major factor
                                  Mind Chatter: Medium.
                                  Waves of bliss: None.
                                  Experience: Good Session.

                                  Result:

                                  Interesting imagery of being enveloped by a cloak of inner sounds. Then as
                                  meditation progressed each layer of the cloak unfolded to reveal deeper
                                  layers within.

                                  Each layer revealed deeper levels of stillness and peace.

                                  Each layer resulted in less body sensation. Nice sense of peace as each
                                  layer unfolded. Good sense that most problems are mind created.

                                  Ended quite suddenly.
                                • tosime
                                  Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 23 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 05:00 a.m. Duration: ? (open) Posture: Seated on chair Body:
                                  Message 16 of 21 , Nov 25, 2002
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                                    Journal Entry - tosime
                                    Date: November 23
                                    Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                    Time: 05:00 a.m.
                                    Duration: ? (open)
                                    Posture: Seated on chair
                                    Body: Eyes closed,
                                    - tongue tip to pallet,
                                    - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                    Room Condition: Darkened room
                                    - One candle
                                    - Incense - one stick
                                    - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                                    Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                    - Sip of water
                                    - Ear plugs
                                    - full body stretch (3 times).
                                    Previous day's influence: None.
                                    Mind Chatter: ?.
                                    Waves of bliss: None.
                                    Experience: Poor Session.

                                    Result:

                                    Power cut and generator problems interrupted session. Tried to continue
                                    later but the disruption was too great. Woke early to deliver a training
                                    session that day.
                                  • tosime
                                    Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 24 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:10 a.m. Duration: 61 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                                    Message 17 of 21 , Nov 25, 2002
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                                      Journal Entry - tosime
                                      Date: November 24
                                      Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                      Time: 07:10 a.m.
                                      Duration: 61 minutes (open)
                                      Posture: Seated on chair
                                      Body: Eyes closed,
                                      - tongue tip to pallet,
                                      - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                      Room Condition: Darkened room
                                      - One candle
                                      - Incense - one stick
                                      - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                                      Pre-session: Ring Bell (forgot)
                                      - Sip of water
                                      - Ear plugs
                                      - full body stretch (3 times).
                                      Previous day's influence: Can't remember.
                                      Mind Chatter: Medium - high.
                                      Waves of bliss: None.
                                      Experience: Good Session.

                                      Result: Unusual session

                                      No bell - forgot to ring
                                      Started by staring at the flickering candle - it was captivating, seemed
                                      like it was alive!
                                      No orderly progression - body and mind seemed to be on different tracks.
                                      Seemed like my body was doing one thing and my mind was doing something
                                      else.

                                      However, very deep levels of physical relaxation. Loosing sensation in parts
                                      of my body such as face.
                                    • tosime
                                      Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 25 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:30 a.m. Duration: 41 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                                      Message 18 of 21 , Nov 25, 2002
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                                        Journal Entry - tosime
                                        Date: November 25
                                        Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                        Time: 07:30 a.m.
                                        Duration: 41 minutes (open)
                                        Posture: Seated on chair
                                        Body: Eyes closed,
                                        - tongue tip to pallet,
                                        - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                        Room Condition: Darkened room
                                        - One candle
                                        - Incense - one stick
                                        - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                                        Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                        - Sip of water
                                        - Ear plugs
                                        - full body stretch (3 times).
                                        Previous day's influence: Nonduality digest post - American Beauty.
                                        Mind Chatter: Medium.
                                        Waves of bliss: None.
                                        Experience: Very Good Session.

                                        Result: Interesting session today - hard to put into words

                                        Quote from post
                                        "...I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes when
                                        you die.
                                        First off that one second isn't one second at all, it stretches on forever
                                        like an
                                        ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at boy scout camp watching
                                        falling stars, and yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street,
                                        or
                                        my grandmother's hands and the way her skin seemed like paper, and the first
                                        time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new firebird. And Janie. And Janie. And
                                        Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed-off about what happened to me, but
                                        it's hard to stay mad when there's so much Beauty in the world. Sometimes I
                                        feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much, and my heart fills
                                        up like a
                                        balloon that's about to burst, and then I remember to relax and stop trying
                                        to
                                        hold onto it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel
                                        anything but
                                        gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea
                                        what I'm talking about, but don't worry, you will someday..."

                                        -Lester Burnam from "American Beauty"

                                        Normal start - allowed my mind to be free until my body had relaxed enough
                                        for me to direct the meditation. Today I decided to find out how long this
                                        takes, so when the inner sounds changed tone to signal the transition to the
                                        next stage, I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. It was about 20
                                        minutes into the session.

                                        After closing my eyes, I realized that I had gone backwards about a minute
                                        or so into the meditation. I had to wait for about a minute to get back to
                                        the "take over" point. The change in tone happened again and I took control
                                        as usual.

                                        The initial dialogue in American Beauty came up. It dawned on me that I was
                                        very attached to my thoughts - as a running commentary. I said to myself,
                                        "what if I became free of my attachments - what if I found the....[off
                                        button]". I did not complete the thought since I had switched off the
                                        running commentary. I felt like I was floating in zero gravity. I also
                                        noticed a pleasant feeling of release in my stomach area as if a normal
                                        tightness was suddenly released. I then decided (without the usual
                                        commentary) to release the attachment to my body. Creative ideas popped up
                                        (work related). This gave me the realization that these ideas were already
                                        in my mind but it took the release of attachment to my thoughts to release
                                        or see the ideas.

                                        After I released the attachment to my physical body, it felt as if it was
                                        moving of its own accord. I felt a series of involuntary movements almost
                                        like a slow gentle dance - it felt very strange.

                                        The whole experience was a little overwhelming so I decided to come out of
                                        my meditation - quite a lot to think about. Or quite a lot to not think
                                        about!
                                      • tosime
                                        Journal Entry - tosime Date: November 26 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:35 a.m. Duration: 36 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                                        Message 19 of 21 , Nov 26, 2002
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                                          Journal Entry - tosime
                                          Date: November 26
                                          Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                          Time: 07:35 a.m.
                                          Duration: 36 minutes (open)
                                          Posture: Seated on chair
                                          Body: Eyes closed,
                                          - tongue tip to pallet,
                                          - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                          Room Condition: Darkened room
                                          - One candle
                                          - Incense - one stick
                                          - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
                                          Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                          - Sip of water
                                          - Ear plugs
                                          - full body stretch (3 times).
                                          Previous day's influence: None.
                                          Mind Chatter: Low - Medium.
                                          Waves of bliss: None.
                                          Experience: Good Session.

                                          Result:

                                          It was hard to close my eyes in the beginning. I felt some muscle movement
                                          as my body relaxed. Saw the close link between thoughts and subtle muscle
                                          tension. Not sure which influenced which in that muscle tension also
                                          influences thought.

                                          Saw into the future where we all wear devices that measure whole body muscle
                                          tension and sends a signal to a device we wear in our ear. This device
                                          trains us to relax during the day and alerts us to how we respond
                                          subconsciously to people and events (as well as our thoughts). I was reading
                                          the instructions on the best place to place the device on the body since
                                          different people had different ideal spots.

                                          Lots of future thoughts - my future in different directions. Had a good
                                          sense that we actually create what we think of as reality.

                                          Good body sensitivity without the usual deep levels of relaxation - wondered
                                          if reaching deeper levels of physical relaxation was the best approach to
                                          making progress in meditation.

                                          Stopped thought for a brief period just to relax and enjoy the stillness in
                                          the meditation. This did not last long as more thoughts came in through the
                                          back door. These thoughts convinced me that since I was in complete control,
                                          it did not matter what I thought about since I could always stop the
                                          thoughts at any time. Famous last thoughts!

                                          Came out of the meditation thinking I had spent an hour only to find it just
                                          36 minutes.
                                        • tosime
                                          Journal Entry - tosime Date: December 12 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 07:35 a.m. Duration: 57 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                                          Message 20 of 21 , Dec 12, 2002
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                                            Journal Entry - tosime
                                            Date: December 12
                                            Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                            Time: 07:35 a.m.
                                            Duration: 57 minutes (open)
                                            Posture: Seated on chair
                                            Body: Eyes closed,
                                            - tongue tip to pallet,
                                            - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                            Room Condition: Darkened room
                                            - One candle
                                            - Incense - one stick
                                            - Essential Oil - (Dawn+water on burner)
                                            Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                            - Sip of water
                                            - Ear plugs
                                            - full body stretch (3 times).
                                            Previous day's influence: Guru_satsang post
                                            "Ramana Maharishi - Who Am I?"
                                            Mind Chatter: Low.
                                            Waves of bliss: None.
                                            Chant (silent): "Real freedom is freedom from thought"
                                            Experience: Good Session.

                                            Result:

                                            Stopped posting for no particular reason even though I kept writing my
                                            journal entries.

                                            Practice update from last journal post:
                                            1) Each time I strike the bell I clear my mind of whatever is uppermost in
                                            my thoughts at that moment. When my mind is relatively clear, I then "strike
                                            in" the frame of mind I want for my meditation - relaxed, still, without
                                            expectation.

                                            2) I have started chanting a phrase I make up just before I start my
                                            session, if I feel inclined to chant - the chant is silent.

                                            Chant was very effective in reducing mind chatter. Was able to observe mind
                                            activity very clearly. Only a few times (5 to 8)was mind activity strong
                                            enough to break the chant.

                                            Relaxed sufficiently for some form of intuitive control to take me over. I
                                            realized this when one of my fingers twitched to snap me out of one the mind
                                            excursions. Inner sounds increased when this happened.

                                            Occasionally I would stop the chant to explore the mindless state. I found
                                            it easier to maintain this state. Mind chatter would creep in gradually and
                                            I would resume the chant. Noticed a very distant, very faint form of mind
                                            chatter in the background.

                                            Explored the intuitive part of my mind. I found it very hard to explore
                                            since there was no physical sense of its presence. It is only when the
                                            "intuition" becomes conscious do I know it has "done" something. I feel like
                                            I am gradually developing my "sense" of it. It is almost like a new sense
                                            altogether. It is very very subtle until it reacts with my physical body or
                                            transfers a thought to my mind.

                                            All in all a good session.
                                          • tosime
                                            Journal Entry - tosime Date: December 13 Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs) Time: 08:35 a.m. Duration: 50 minutes (open) Posture: Seated on
                                            Message 21 of 21 , Dec 13, 2002
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                                              Journal Entry - tosime
                                              Date: December 13
                                              Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
                                              Time: 08:35 a.m.
                                              Duration: 50 minutes (open)
                                              Posture: Seated on chair
                                              Body: Eyes closed,
                                              - tongue tip to pallet,
                                              - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
                                              Room Condition: Darkened room
                                              - One candle
                                              - Incense - one stick
                                              - Essential Oil - (Dawn+water on burner)
                                              Pre-session: Ring Bell
                                              (Ring out distractions - Ring in peace)
                                              - Sip of water
                                              - Ear plugs
                                              - full body stretch (3 times).
                                              Previous day's influence: Reading my journal post as a receiver
                                              Mind Chatter: Low - Medium.
                                              Waves of bliss: None.
                                              Chant (silent): "...Reaching for the sky just to surrender"
                                              Experience: Good Session.

                                              Result:

                                              A Leonard Cohen song kept turning in my mind yesterday so I decided to use
                                              it in my meditation.

                                              The Stranger Song
                                              It's true that all the men you knew were dealers
                                              who said they were through with dealing
                                              Every time you gave them shelter
                                              I know that kind of man
                                              It's hard to hold the hand of anyone
                                              who is reaching for the sky just to surrender,
                                              who is reaching for the sky just to surrender.

                                              And then sweeping up the jokers that he left behind
                                              you find he did not leave you very much
                                              not even laughter
                                              Like any dealer he was watching for the card
                                              that is so high and wild
                                              he'll never need to deal another
                                              He was just some Joseph looking for a manger
                                              He was just some Joseph looking for a manger...

                                              "Reaching for the sky just to surrender"

                                              Just after the start I "felt" the scent of the oil burner. This was more a
                                              tingling sensation in my nose than the scent of the oil burner. I opened my
                                              eyes and looked at the oil burner. I then had the insight that understanding
                                              intuition needs a different sensory organ (i.e. eyes) even though the normal
                                              perception is through thought.

                                              It got a little complex, but I felt that intuition is really the part of you
                                              that creates the world we think we are perceiving. What we see as intuition
                                              is really seeing what we have created before it comes to us through our
                                              normal senses. I did not have a full understanding of this. However it
                                              helped me to see problems as internal conflicts rather than external
                                              situations.

                                              After writing this I lost the other insights from this meditation session.
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