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  • Harold
    Hello All. My name is Hal. I am a new member of this group. I have read through some of the archive posts and i feel im in a good place here. I can really
    Message 1 of 4 , Jun 23, 2004
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      Hello All. My name is Hal. I am a new member of this group. I have read
      through some of the archive posts and i feel im in a good place here. I can
      really identify with Anna's current dillemma concerning drug use. I had a
      similar situation at one time in my life except my drug use was not legal.
      Reguardless of that, i feel that we may have taken drugs for like reasons,
      but as with most chemical addictions,over time the drug became more of an
      enemy than an aid.

      I recall at around nine years of age that i had my first panic attack. I
      was at home by myself and i choked on some food and it frightened me so bad
      that the fear of it happening again filled my every thought whenever i would
      eat. This fear was so overwhelming that i would indeed choke whenever i ate.
      At that age i did not clearly understand the difference between an emotional
      disorder as oposed to a physical one and concluded i was physically
      impaired. I did not want to "face" let alone try to accept this problem so i
      tried to hide it from myself and others. Had i confided with others about my
      troubles i may have likely been given a drug to cushion the pain. Instead i
      chose to cover the pain any way i could.comfortably get away with.
      Reguardless of the potiential consequences, i took that risk rather than
      face my fears.

      Over the years that folowed that kind of thinking eventually led me to the
      place where my options were reduced to either grow up or die. Reguardless
      of how i got to that stage the important thing is i was finally ready to
      face my problems.That's when i became teachable. That's when i was able to
      use spiritual practices to help enable me to see more clearly into the root
      of my fears instead of "hide" from them in spiritual worship.. I have also
      been involved in many methods geared towards self anyalysis and self
      awareness but Meditation was key in helping me learn how to put all those
      things in right perspective. Those things coupled with regular meditation
      practice have provided the means to face,deal with and overcome my personal
      demons and my drug use is but a shadow of the past. Weither the problem is
      one of anxiety, heroin or clonozepem or a Dr. that doesn't have all the
      answers, the important thing is that there are "real" answers and freedom
      for those who are willing to face what the resolution of fear calls for.

      Hal
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