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Question from Email about Missing and Longing

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  • medit8ionsociety
    From an email today (part of my reply is below the query): I had a bout with depression anxiety panic 10 years ago. I was hospitalized in the stress unit. I
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 29, 2003
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      From an email today (part of my reply is below the query):

      I had a bout with depression anxiety panic 10 years ago.
      I was hospitalized in the stress unit. I went through psycho
      therapy and psycho drama. I became very close to my
      Dr. with a Father transference. About 2 weeks out of the
      hospital he was diagnosed with non hodgkins lymphoma.
      I prayed everyday. Sent him cards and made him gifts.
      He beat the cancer which was in the 4th stage. He came
      back to work for several years, me seeing him every 3
      months for med checks. Then one day, he wrote all of his
      patients a letter that they would have to find someone new,
      for he was moving.
      I thought I would die, and still sometimes I think of suicide,
      as it is horrible this longing and missing him. He's too far
      away to ever see again, but we do e-mail back and forth.
      He seems to understand how much I miss him, but nothing
      helps.
      I feel exactly like a little girl that has been abandoned
      orphaned rejected. I cry alot and am sad most of the time.
      It seems foolish, for I am xx years old. Married, grown
      sons, 1 grandaughter. (which I feel younger than, she is
      8) Do you have any suggestions for me? Or am I just going
      to miss him forever? I know that it is seperation anxiety.

      Thank you,
      RRR
      P. S. My inner child does not like me, she only
      wants the Dr
      ------------------------------------------------------------
      Part of my (Bob's) reply:

      feel that your inner child is not all that is within you. The voice
      and wisdom of your inner Dr/Father figure is also within you. And if
      you still your mind (and meditation is the very best way to do that),
      you can be as near as necessary, and hear what is necessary to give
      you all the guidance he gave "live-in-person." You never did carry him
      around physically, just in your heart. And not having the body present
      doesn't affect that at all. Not even 1%. Witness your mind chatter and
      ignore it. Be present and when the guidance you need from him is
      needed, you will receive it. Who can do this, you may ask... and the
      answer is: your inner adult. And when you are in a state of inner
      silence, that's who is witnessing your life as it takes place. And the
      inner adult, the Witness, always is serene and wise and will know just
      what to do. Find a meditation method you are comfortable with, and get
      in touch with your Witness. And you will live happily ever after.
      I wish you well.
      Peace and blessings,
      Bob Rose, President,
      Meditation Society of America
      -------------------------------------------------------------------
      PS: I have also communicated the need for further therapy, which is
      appropriate whenever suicidal thoughts arise.
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