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Namaste to Ganga and Jeff and Tony

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  • steve
    Namaste Dear Ones, I have been still searching, seeking, questioning, knocking, travelling, going to see teachers, meditating, chanting, debating, posting,
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 20, 2003
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      Namaste Dear Ones,

      I have been still searching, seeking, questioning, knocking,
      travelling, going to see teachers, meditating, chanting, debating,
      posting, etc. I have been sincere and humble and equally true at
      times, I have been very negative, rude, sarcastic, arrogant, unkind,
      etc. I am not proud of this behavior.

      I just wrote an email to a friend where I realized that I do not have
      problems with Ganga anymore, I am at peace with her, but I am still
      struggling with what she represents. To me she, the guru, is the
      archetype of the authority figure, the external authority, and I
      still have issues with this. I love Ganga and I love Jeff. If I ever
      get a chance to see either of them in person again, I will definitely
      do so. If I lived near either of them, I would definitely frequent
      them often and enjoy their company. I think we would be good friends.

      My behavior towards Tony has been despicable. And I ask that he has
      the heart to forgive me. I have put him down and have been quite
      spiteful. He has been a big trigger for me. Anytime I saw a post by
      him, I almost felt compelled to respond to him and put him in his
      place, to prove him wrong. There was no love or compassion in this.

      Life always teaches you what you need. Greg Goode taught me the
      bodhisattva ideal and not wanting to hurt another living being,
      causing the least amount of suffering to others with his post
      entitled "Meaning" on Guru Ratings. Then to further make this point a
      friend has emailed me and reminded me to not play these childish
      games anymore. And finally I am reading a book that talks about the
      consequences of our actions and how we will have to re-live them when
      we die and stresses the importance of thinking before we act. I
      always knew the importance of goodness and love, but somehow just
      seem to act from a impure place at times, ignoring the consequences
      and enjoying the momentary pleasure and satisfaction of egoic
      actions.

      I just want to state once again that I am sorry for all I have ever
      said or done that is not in tune, in resonance with the Bodhisattva
      Ideal. And I ask that you find mercy and forgiveness in your heart
      for my ignorance. Thanking you all for all you have given me freely
      and I wish you well on your journeys through life. Much love, Steve.
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