350Re: I'm confused on what's happening...
- May 20, 2002Dear Lesley,
First of all, thank you for sharing your very interesting
You start by saying, "I'm new to consistent meditation". I'm pretty
sure you mean that you are new to meditating regularly, and that is
something quite different. What you are describing are kundalini yoga
type meditations, feelings, and visions. The more you have, the less
disturbing/odd feeling they will be, and the deeper you will be able
to go. This can be very addicting, and it is easy to spend years
seeking "higher" and more spectacular visions. I suggest just sitting
back serenely, non-reactively, silently, without mental chatter, and
just Witness what flows by. Be empty and you will fill with
unimaginably wonder-full sights, sounds, and insight. It seems
that you have come to the point where your concentration is strong
enough and meditation just comes to you. But, many who have had these
type experiences have found that in the moments of their "real life",
they are just as suffering, reactive, and helpless as they ever were.
It is important that you now fully develop all areas of your
life. Rid yourself of all negativity; learn to be the master/mistress
of your mental, physical, and emotional reactivity. How to do this?
Simply start paying attention to your life as it takes place as
intently as you do to the events your meditation present to you while
sitting in meditation. Be at one with your inner Witness as often as
possible as the events of your life unfold before you. This is
"consistent meditation". So, the methodology I am suggesting is to
continue sitting in formal meditation and letting the kundalini
energy have it's way with you, and silently witness it. Add a form of
Mindfulness meditation to your practice. This will automatically let
you recognize your negative characteristics and replace them with
righteous ones. Be gentle with your self; don't put yourself down
during this process. You have been very blessed and your blessings
will grow greatly. Be patient. You need not be obsessive about
the miraculous. It will effortlessly, perhaps after great effort,
continue to present itself to you. And in the exact moment it is
supposed to, all the mysteries will be revealed and you will live
happily ever after.
> I'm new to consistent meditation. However, I consider myself toat
> be fairly open at most times. I attend a group meditation at an
> SRF group in my city. I've also started meditating at night.
> When I started meditating, I was seeing colors, mostly light blue,
> dark blue and purple. I concentrated on these and allowed them
> to flow into their *vortices.* After some research, I learned that
> these are chakra colors and learned about the images
> associated with the colors. I would often see the dark blue look
> like an eclipse then eventually I would literally see an eye shape.
> But, I've not gone beyond that. At a group meditation, I was
> getting green and felt my chest expanding. Then, I felt an
> enormous amount of *pressure* which I assume was energy at
> my throat. Following that meditation, my neck was tender for
> several days.
> At my first group meditation, I started sobbing loudly for all the
> sorrows of the world. I know that sounds corny, but that's really
> how I felt. For weeks following, when I'd be doing mindless work
> like housecleaning, I was comparing my life experiences to bad
> choices that could have been and discovering how much I am
> *everyone else* just I'm representing a different *reality.* (mad
> kids and Andrea Yates is one that came up because it was onand
> the news at the time and I really was struggling to understand
> how that could happen)
> Here's the last big weird one...last night I was meditating. I
> started feeling this energy flow starting at the middle back of my
> spine going down the back up the front of the spine. At the same
> time, I could hear this *hum* like a motor running. (I meditate
> with no noise, so it wasn't the CD player <g>.) After just a few
> minutes I felt like I couldn't breathe. I had to stop meditation
> pace the room to catch my breath.expressing
> I've also had a dream where I could see everythings' aura and a
> dream about a yogi who's book I just read.
> What the heck is happening to me? What am I supposed to be
> doing? Where am I supposed to go with this?
> P.S. sorry for all the ** words. I really am not sure I'm
> myself well or making any sense.
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