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17645Semi-interesting Things

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  • medit8ionsociety
    May 16, 2011
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      - Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

      - A day without sunshine is like night.

      - On the other hand, you have different fingers.

      - I just got lost in thought.
      It was unfamiliar territory.

      - 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

      - I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a
      parallel universe.

      - Honk if you love peace and quiet.

      - Remember, half the people you know are below average.

      - He who laughs last thinks slowest.

      - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

      - The early bird may get the worm, but the
      second mouse gets the cheese.

      - I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

      - Support bacteria. They're the only culture
      some people have.

      - Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

      - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

      - Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

      - Get a new car for your spouse.
      It'll be a great trade!

      - Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

      - Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

      - If you think nobody cares, try missing
      a couple of payments.

      - How many of you believe in telekinesis?
      Raise my hand...

      - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

      - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

      - If everything seems to be going well,
      you have obviously overlooked something.

      - When everything is coming your way,
      you're in the wrong lane.

      - Hard work pays off in the future.
      Laziness pays off now.

      - Everyone has a photographic memory.
      Some just don't have film.

      - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have
      to buy her friends?

      - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked
      into jet engines.

      - What happens if you get scared half
      to death twice?

      - I used to have an open mind but my brains
      kept falling out.

      - I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made
      your horn louder.

      - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

      - Inside every older person is a younger person
      wondering what the hell happened.