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17338Re: [Meditation Society of America] Question about self-moha!

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  • Greg Brown
    Jul 10, 2010
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      Sandeep, Na mastay (if I have spelled that correctly).
       
      Thank you for your insights. Very interesting and real. My uncle recently gave me the book "When things fall apart" by Pema Chodron, and many of the things you are saying are repeated by her. I just finished a chapter today on The four Mara, and I think I am starting to get it, and you have reinforced my understanding, I am grateful.
       
      This battle of letting go may be the hardest thing for me and instead just learning to "be with" things, both positive and negative. I have not seen this as drama, just taking me in the wrong direction. If I can change to having more positive thoughts rather than more negative thoughts, I can not see that it can hurt me, let alone my understand of samsara. However, I do see that having a majority of negative inner thoughts definitely holds me back from living.
       
      I was using the term moha and my version, "self-moha" based on the introductory page at the Meditation Society of America web site and how it was defined there. It sounded like it referred to giving out negative to the world. I try my best not to put my negative on others, but, I am over whelmed by it within my own mind. I cut myself down, say bad things to myself, do not give myself credit when I should, and am not at peace internally. We all think, or we could not function, I just happen to be pretty hard and mean to myself internally. This is fine to be with, but, I must learn to change this, as it is not healthy in any way.
       
      I can understand the need to be with my negative and positive thoughts, as this makes a lot of sense to me. however, I am so used to being negative to myself that I do not recognize it until later, and so, I can not even be with these thoughts to examine them - if this makes any sense at all. However, with  the book and your input, maybe I will finally get there.
       
      I will think about your "receiver of the parcel" perspective - sounds like it might get me somewhere!
       
      Thank you for your time and thoughtfulness.
       
      Sincerely, Greg.

      "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats!"
       
      :Henry Louis Mencken (1880 - 1956).

       


      --- On Sat, 7/10/10, Sandeep <sandeep1960@...> wrote:

      From: Sandeep <sandeep1960@...>
      Subject: Re: [Meditation Society of America] Question about self-moha!
      To: meditationsocietyofamerica@yahoogroups.com
      Date: Saturday, July 10, 2010, 8:57 AM

       


      Greg Brown wrote:
       
      Hello,
       
      I have been reading your pages of your web site, and I have also been working on using positive affirmations, meditations, etc... before I knew about your site. I have leaned that I have one of the worst habits possible for a human being, that is giving myself negative thoughts,


      Just like positive thought, negative thought..... ..is a thought about thought.

      See, both as creativity as and of thought-play and be done with the drama.




      self-moha,


      Self- Moha?

      Moha, in Sanskrit means desire or attachment.

      With what connotation are you using the term?



      all the time, a habit learned from an abusive childhood. I strongly believe in morality, justice and kindness - but, I do not give this to myself! This habit has been exceptionally hard to break and change into a positive inner dialog or even more appropriately and accepting dialog, as I am not able to recognize when I do it, as it is such a deeply ingrained habit for me to do to myself. I know all the techniques in cognitive retraining,

      A re-trained thought is thought believing itself to have been altered, changed, morphed.





      but can not seem to get to correcting this negative inner dialog.  I thought "maybe there is a way meditation can help me change this debilitating habitual negative inner dialog".


      Enquire..... ..to whom does thought (negative or positive) happen to?

      Rather than the content of the parcel and the surrounding qualification of the content...

      ...who is it that has taken delivery of the parcel?





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