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17282RE: [Meditation Society of America] Evolution of Meditation

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  • WestWindWood
    Jun 9, 2010
      I have done practically all of my meditation in isolation from other meditators so I cannot give you a general example of change in behavior. However, I am sure there are meditators here that would gladly give you examples of the work that they need to do on their own path. For myself, I am sure that my issue sprang from past karma (lifetimes of it) dealing with spousal relationships. Generally looking at past lives is hardly worth the effort because this life is the one in process, the important one, but I can say that out of curiosity I had a look and can say I was an abused female at times and an aggressive ass of a male also.
      When I did my daily meditation, I would let what I call the chaos of the day come from my unconscious into awareness. This would take about 40 minutes on average. At first it would be kind of diffuse feeling wise, anxiety mixed with a bit of turmoil, but eventually these feelings would all sort themselves into a central theme which would practically always have to do with my wife. Like there would be some item of tension between us and I would want to prevail. I felt like I would practically die if I did not come out on top; however, there is also a place in meditation that a person can go with a problem like this and ask for an answer about what to do where the ego is not involved.  The answer would come back that I should do what my wife wants. This (unfortunately for my ego!) was always what I should do. But, if I did as I was told, life always got better. What could I do but submit? I always did. So listen here, if I do some required behavioral change (give way to my wife) that runs against my nature, by doing so I will eventually change who I am because doing the action will have an influence on my feelings so the feelings change. It is rather like a spiral that goes round and round, the feeling needing work on coming up again and again, but each time it comes around, the feeling is less until someday it is not there and looking back I would wonder what all the fuss was about, but at the time it was incredibly real.

      --- On Tue, 6/8/10, Aideen Mckenna <aideenmck@...> wrote:

      From: Aideen Mckenna <aideenmck@...>
      Subject: RE: [Meditation Society of America] Evolution of Meditation
      To: meditationsocietyofamerica@yahoogroups.com
      Date: Tuesday, June 8, 2010, 7:08 PM


      Could you give an example of a change in behaviour that affects the personality?  Not necessarily an example from your own life, because I don’t wish to pry, but one that you think typifies the sort of thing you mean?  Would that behaviour change more likely be one of refraining from certain actions or would it usually be a positive, intentional act?

      Thanks.  Aideen

      From: meditationsocietyof america@yahoogro ups.com [mailto: meditationsocietyof america@yahoogro ups.com ] On Behalf Of WestWind
      Sent: June-08-10 5:45 PM
      To: meditationsocietyof america@yahoogro ups.com
      Subject: [Meditation Society of America ] Evolution of Meditation

      First I was curious about how the mind worked, the waking intellectual state versus emotions, and decided that emotions ruled. Once I really got in touch with my feelings through meditation, I perceived that the intellect would rationalize to fit the emotions. The clue here was that I could feel out of sorts and not know why, but with meditation, the reason would come into my consciousness. And here before that I thought the intellect ruled over my life. Since emotions were the driver of my actions, I needed to work them out. After many years of inspection using meditation, and changing how I behaved so that it would affect a change my personality, those hidden feelings worked themselves into nothing. The feelings, the grasping, went away forever. So then there were many years of meditation about issues as they came up, instant knowledge on how to behave in the instance that things happened. In its way it was better than knowing the future, or being able to read som eone's mind. Most recently, there seems a desire to just know and experience the meditative state.

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