16584A Bad Meditation Can Be A Good Meditation
- Apr 3, 2009A Bad Meditation Can Be A Good Meditation
You're sitting comfortably in your favorite spot,
all is well, you're calm, cool, and collected.
You start to meditate, perhaps repeating a mantra,
and then you find you just can't concentrate.
Let's say that you intend to say OM over and over.
What sometimes happens is that after you say OM a
few times, your inner chatterer starts making
comments. It may go like this "Om sounds like home.
Boy, wouldn't it be nice to buy a new home." And
then it continues "They just built a few new homes
in New Jersey. If I take the turnpike I can get
there pretty quickly. But there may be a lot of
traffic. I might get stuck in it for hours", and
so on, and so on. So, there you are, not just not
experiencing OM, but now you're in gridlock and
starting to feel road rage! Then, you realize that
you've lost your concentration and instead of just
returning to meditating on OM, your inner chatterer
starts chastising you with statements like "You
can't meditate! You're no good! You're incompetent!'
and so on. Then it starts filling you with self-pity
things like "I suffer so. If only I could control
my mind, but I can't and never will." Of course,
this is even further away from OM than driving on
the turnpike. But there is also something very good
happening as well, and it may prove to be far more
beneficial in the long run than if you would have
had a meditation that included visions of heaven and
feelings of bliss.
There is an awareness, a consciousness within
you that is a silent Witness to everything your
senses react with, your mind thinks, and your
emotions feel. It has been witnessing since you
were born. When you were a baby and couldn't
judge, compare, or comment in any way about
anything, it was already witnessing. As a matter
of fact, this Witness is your only hope of eternal
life. Your body will drop. Your thoughts and
emotions will stop. These things have never had
any permanence whatsoever. The only thing about
them that never changes is that they are always
changing. Our Witness is the only part of us
that has been changeless and is the only part
of us that has the possibility of surviving death.
You are not your body, you are not your emotions,
you are not your mind. The Witness is the Real
Self. When you meditate it is the Witness who
will recognize that you have stopped concentrating,
or are distracted, or are demeaning yourself.
You then can stop it and direct your consciousness
to what is appropriate. This is Real Self-control.
This puts you in the position of benefiting
greatly when your attempt at meditation "fails".
You will begin to recognize not just that you
have lost your concentration, but what caused
you to divert your attention. Sometimes you will
be able to become aware of habitual behaviors
that have distracted you. For instance, sounds
or other physical sensations may cause you to
tense up or get emotional. Certain type thoughts
or emotions, like lustful ones, may lead to
diverting your focus. When these subconscious
reactivities come to the surface under the light
of the Witness, you will be free from their power.
There is no doubt that if you realized that your
head has been hurting because you have been
banging it against a wall, you would stop doing
it. And your pain would disappear. Similarly,
when you cease reacting to the conscious and
subconscious distractions that have been banging
you around, your concentration will be firm and
your meditation will flow freely to you,
infinitely and eternally. These are the good
things bad meditations present to you. Most
importantly, they almost force you to seek refuge
in your Witness, and the more you do, the more
you realize and experience the reality of your
union with the pure consciousness that is your
real identity. And your suffering ends. So, when
you are having a "bad" meditation, it is a
tremendous opportunity to learn and evolve. All
the things that have been interfering with your
at-oneness with your Witness will be laid bare
before you. Therefore, when you're having any
type meditation, it's "good" and leads to the
inevitable living happily ever after.
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