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15012Re: [Meditation Society of America] Awareness Meditation

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  • Rushikant Mehta
    Jul 30, 2006
      Yeshwanthiji :
      Why not to accept the reality ? Continue your meditation of just being aware of whatever is the reality of the moment. And react not by desiring anything otherwise than what the Nature manifests, on the body or in the mind.
      If you do not wish the pent up fear to surface, how can you get rid of it ? Same with all supressed emotions & negativities. Let them come up & pass. It's real catharsis.
      And why insist on longer than 35 minutes ? Persist in the efforts, the meditation, the awareness; continually, if not continuously.
      Still if you want to do it more systematically in protective environment, under guidence, visit www.dhamma.org.
      May your determination to develop in self-awareness lead you to the Ultimate
      yeshwanthi vasudevan <badgirl_nofear@...> wrote:
      Hi Everybody
      I've already sent the below message to medit8@..., but I thought it's always good to ask everyone's opinion on this. So here it goes: 
      I've just recently started meditation. And no I don't do any concentration meditation, in other words I don't concentrate on any object or image but rather I do awareness meditation. You know just observing your thoughts, the physical sensations, breath  etc.. just simply being aware (easy said than done!) And I'am now able to sit for like more than just 20 minutes. But when I start pushing myself to sit for more than 20 minutes that is like 35 minutes or so, I suddenly start feeling (i don't know how to explain this) very peaceful and serene (i don't think even these words could explain it properly), i've never felt that before, I've never felt that sort of tranquility before ( I guess this is something that you would feel only when your meditating), it's just a really beautiful feeling, my head just starts to feel really light. But as I start feeling tranquil, at the same time, simaltaneously I start feeling very, very restless and I feel fear arising in me. I don't understand why I start to suddenly feel very scared and restless. At that particular moment all I want to do is to just open my eyes and get out of meditation. At that particular moment I feel like there is some sort of a restless battle waging on inside me. A part of me is just screaming and begging to stop the meditation, and get out of it immediately. And another part of me is telling me to just be patient and persistent, to not stop, to not open my eyes, and keep going, and to just be aware of the fear arising in me. I'am unable to go beyond 35 minutes. I can sit for more than 35 minutes, but only with a 5 minutes break in between. otherwise sitting in one stretch for more than 35 minutes is just scary. I don't know why I start feeling so scared and restless, or rather should i say what am I so scared of??? I'am really curious. Have any of you ever felt this when you first started meditation?????
      Thanking You,

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