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14991Re: [Meditation Society of America] Re: Introduction to myself/enlightenment 101

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  • Benjamin Buehne
    Jul 16, 2006
      Thanks Jeff-

      I think I understand what you are saying but I would
      like to clarify. Basicly, there is a part of me, in
      my nature, that retains this anger and anxiety. While
      I may have been clairvoyant before... what I am seeing
      now may not, in fact, be this clairvoyance but this
      anger and anxiety sneeking into my conciousness.
      Possibly to frighten me out of continuing to seek
      enlightenment. Is this correct?

      Also, how can such a thing "rob us from ground
      gained"? What do you need to do in order to avoid
      such a thing?

      I realize I am inexperienced so I appreciate your help
      (everyone in the group for that matter). This state
      is actually not something I initially desired... I was
      simply trying to relax and it happened (interestingly
      enough it was the first time I had meditated outside).
      I want to let you know that I am humble and realize
      how "green" I am... I am simply a person who has taken
      to the art with significantly more ease than others.
      Your help is greatly appreciated.

      Thank you for your response,
      P.S. Do you know of anyone in the chicagoland area
      that is experienced enough to help me with such

      --- Jeff Belyea <jeff@...> wrote:

      > Hi Ben -
      > While the mystic experience is rare,
      > this group most probably has several,
      > if not quite a few, who can relate
      > to your story from similar direct
      > experience.
      > The shift to what you wrote of as,
      > "consciousness of everything" and the
      > clarity, compassion and comfort
      > (peace of mind)is a common result.
      > The clairvoyant part, and the
      > occasions of deja vu, are not as
      > common, but many people report them,
      > as well.
      > My experience, personally, and in
      > teaching meditation for the past 30
      > years has been that the former level
      > of conscious of which you wrote -
      > that anxious, needy "former self"
      > - often referred to as "ego",
      > is very sneaky, and does not
      > give up its attempt to regain the
      > dominant position in our consciousness.
      > "It" can impose upon our imagination
      > in the guise of clairvoyance. In
      > this way, it will play upon our
      > "spiritual pride" and can trap us
      > in a return to "vain imaginings"
      > that are not a product of our
      > enlightenment. This is quicksand,
      > and can rob us of the ground gained,
      > in great part. It takes keen
      > discernment and abject honesty
      > with ourselves to be able to spot
      > this distinction.
      > This is when a mature teacher or
      > "guru" can help guide an innocently
      > deluded "seeker" who has egoistically
      > talked themselves into claiming
      > enlightenment or even "Guru" status,
      > (Jody and Bruce - members here, can
      > speak knowledgeably, and sometimes
      > a bit jadedly, about this) and newbie
      > enlightened ones.
      > Even when the enlightenment
      > experience seems, and is "known"
      > as, absolutely complete, there is
      > still a maintenance that is
      > required to continue to reap
      > the harvest of this new level
      > of consciousness. It is easy to
      > ignore this, because the new
      > enlightenment is so pure and
      > powerful that it feel invulnerable.
      > In great part, it is, but while
      > we are still living in the material
      > world (thanks, Madonna) we are
      > subject to a "warring" faction -
      > in our own internal lives - as we see
      > manifested externally in the worldly
      > activity of war in the name of God.
      > A red flag for spotting this activity is
      > is when we feel a negative anticipation,
      > or stuggle. The ego feeds on struggle
      > and will step up the internal dialogue.
      > And this is the antithesis of meditation
      > as a waking consciousness. If we feed
      > the struggle, we are in effect giving
      > up our enlightened consciousness, which
      > is above circumstance, and returning
      > to a rationally-dominant concern.
      > The logical or rational argument
      > convincingly says we must be concerned
      > and do our part. But our part is to
      > maintain the enlightened perspective
      > and bring peace by our positive
      > energy and en-"light"ened view.
      > This alone will contribute to the
      > change of consciousness, and shift
      > in awareness, on a global scale that
      > so many awakened teacher "know" as
      > the destiny of humankind. Whoops,
      > getting a little lofty now.
      > I'll stop here. If you find some
      > resonance with this, let me know,
      > and I'll be happy to follow up with
      > you privately.
      > Peace,
      > Jeff
      > --- In meditationsocietyofamerica@yahoogroups.com,
      > Benjamin Buehne
      > <benbuehne@...> wrote:
      > >
      > > Hi everyone,
      > > My name is Ben and I just joined. It is nice
      > > that such a place exists, I have struggled to find
      > > others to relate to as far as my experiences
      > > meditating go. Basicly no one else I know does
      > it. I
      > > thought I would take this opportunity to share
      > with
      > > the group as far as who I am and what my
      > experiences
      > > have been like to see if anyone can relate.
      > >
      > > I used to be a fairly confused person. I
      > would
      > > generally be filled with an anger and anxiety. I
      > > wasn't too fun to be around. 1 day I had a panic
      > > attack... they continued and actually got stronger
      > as
      > > I had more of them.
      > >
      > > I heard about the effects of meditation and
      > gave
      > > it a shot. It worked fairly well for me... I
      > wasn't
      > > as angry and the panic attacks stopped. I made
      > > meditation a regular habit although I didn't have
      > > panic attacks, just to maintain. I taught myself
      > how
      > > to do this.
      > >
      > > One day, something happened though. I was
      > > actually in college and studying for finals. I
      > was
      > > feeling stressed out so I decided to meditate. It
      > was
      > > then that I had what others have described as a
      > mystic
      > > experience. A conciousness of everything, without
      > > thought. I was filled with energy afterwords and
      > a
      > > sense of elightment.
      > >
      > > It was then that I started to notice changes
      > in
      > > myself. I wouldn't ever lose my temper. Nothing
      > > really got to me... anxiety wasn't an issue and I
      > no
      > > longer had fears that I previously had. I went
      > from a
      > > C student to an A student. I felt more compassion
      > for
      > > others. Although I was raised catholic...
      > previously
      > > I hadn't been very religious. Afterwords I was
      > > certain of there being something else...
      > >
      > > Having this mystic experience became fairly
      > easy
      > > for me. I would be able to achieve it almost
      > every
      > > time I meditated. It was at this point in time
      > that I
      > > noticed a clairvoyance. I had prior knowledge of
      > the
      > > future.
      > >
      > > Now many may call me crazy... but I work in
      > the
      > > mental health field and really experience no
      > symptoms
      > > of mental illness. This clairvoyance can be
      > > described. It's like deja-vu. It is as if I
      > remember
      > > these things... although at times I need something
      > to
      > > jog my memory (a trigger). Then, later... I watch
      > as
      > > things happened exactly as I had "remembered."
      > >
      > > This did disturb me however... I didn't
      > always
      > > like what I saw. For a period of time I stopped
      > > meditating in hopes that this would go away... and
      > to
      > > an extent it did. However, I was drawn back into
      > > meditating and again took to it with ease.
      > >
      > > That brings me to why I am here... as again
      > with
      > > meditating I have the mystic experience. I again
      > was
      > > clairvoyant... which was fine until recently.
      > > Recently , again, what I have seen has disturbed
      > me.
      > > I am talking about things on a global scale as
      > well...
      === message truncated ===

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