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14908Re: When the thing you want to heal from....

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  • blueoceantiger
    May 25, 2006
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      --- In meditationsocietyofamerica@yahoogroups.com, reikilove27
      <no_reply@...> wrote:
      >
      > Sorry if this is a bit long, but I figure no better place to ask for
      > your views on a situation such as this...
      >
      > Last year, a girl (she has posted on here and I'm sure some of you
      > know her, but I will give the respect of not revealing a name as bad
      > as I want to :)) that I thought was going to be my spiritual partner
      > and wife (I wanted to marry her obviously) completely shattered
      > everything I knew to be true....
      >
      > She (she practiced Sufism) left me and went off to see a SUFI Guru,
      > who she eventually married (this Supposed guru lives in Pakistan by
      > the way)...
      >
      > I can't believe it's been a year and still it feels like yesterday
      > that she left.... the parts that I have trouble with trying to heal
      > from this experience even through my Reiki (I am level II) and all
      > kinds of meditation are the fololowing
      >
      > 1. She Lied.. how could someone who is a supposed spiritual good
      > person lie about the reasons that we were not meant to be when all the
      > along the real reason turned out to be she started talking online to
      > this guru overseas, and obviously was emotionally cheating on me with
      > him... to me this is the only way someone breaks up with you and turns
      > around and not even 2 months later sells all their belongings and goes
      > to marry someone else....
      >
      > 2. Aren't we who get into the "spiritual path", supposed to try to
      > live up to the standards that we meditate and live on? So one side she
      > lied, on the other side this Bastard guy (can you tell I'm still
      > bitter) knew she was in a relationship and still talked her into doing
      > this whole thing....
      >
      > I hope I am being clear.. my issue is a year later and i am still
      > trying to heal through spiritual practices like Reiki and Meditation
      > but it seems no matter what, I can't release how angry and upset I get
      > at the actions she took... and also this has completely shattered my
      > trust in people... I mean the last person that I thought would
      > completely lie and cheat was this woman(my fault for seeing her as
      > perfection I suppose).. she had a great heart,...
      > beautiful spirit and lived in every way as spiritual path as one
      > could... we both met on our path, and [I thought] this was what was
      > meant to be....
      >
      > So question is.. how do you meditate/heal when the anger of something
      > like this is clouding the very thing you are trying to heal from?
      > I mean a meditation session doesn't go by without cursing at her to
      > her and Him for "ruining my life" (yes that is a Martyr speaking and
      > is pathetic I know especially for a 31 year old adult:))
      >
      > Thank you in advance and sorry for the essay
      >


      all the meditation and reiki in the world won't
      turn a tulip into a rose. making peace with what
      is, is a challenge for most. as long as you hold
      the anger you can avoid the fact you have a loss.
      yet in the emptiness, there is a grace. i have
      found no way other than to be with what is. on
      occasion i have also found the loving kindness
      metta meditation to be useful. it is a simple
      way to hold a wish for peace for all. when you
      describe a great heart, only that part of you,
      could have seen that in her. maybe all the hearts
      in this matter could use some peace. certainly
      our world can.

      --josie--

      http://www.buddhanet.net/metta_in.htm
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