14908Re: When the thing you want to heal from....
- May 25, 2006--- In firstname.lastname@example.org, reikilove27
>all the meditation and reiki in the world won't
> Sorry if this is a bit long, but I figure no better place to ask for
> your views on a situation such as this...
> Last year, a girl (she has posted on here and I'm sure some of you
> know her, but I will give the respect of not revealing a name as bad
> as I want to :)) that I thought was going to be my spiritual partner
> and wife (I wanted to marry her obviously) completely shattered
> everything I knew to be true....
> She (she practiced Sufism) left me and went off to see a SUFI Guru,
> who she eventually married (this Supposed guru lives in Pakistan by
> the way)...
> I can't believe it's been a year and still it feels like yesterday
> that she left.... the parts that I have trouble with trying to heal
> from this experience even through my Reiki (I am level II) and all
> kinds of meditation are the fololowing
> 1. She Lied.. how could someone who is a supposed spiritual good
> person lie about the reasons that we were not meant to be when all the
> along the real reason turned out to be she started talking online to
> this guru overseas, and obviously was emotionally cheating on me with
> him... to me this is the only way someone breaks up with you and turns
> around and not even 2 months later sells all their belongings and goes
> to marry someone else....
> 2. Aren't we who get into the "spiritual path", supposed to try to
> live up to the standards that we meditate and live on? So one side she
> lied, on the other side this Bastard guy (can you tell I'm still
> bitter) knew she was in a relationship and still talked her into doing
> this whole thing....
> I hope I am being clear.. my issue is a year later and i am still
> trying to heal through spiritual practices like Reiki and Meditation
> but it seems no matter what, I can't release how angry and upset I get
> at the actions she took... and also this has completely shattered my
> trust in people... I mean the last person that I thought would
> completely lie and cheat was this woman(my fault for seeing her as
> perfection I suppose).. she had a great heart,...
> beautiful spirit and lived in every way as spiritual path as one
> could... we both met on our path, and [I thought] this was what was
> meant to be....
> So question is.. how do you meditate/heal when the anger of something
> like this is clouding the very thing you are trying to heal from?
> I mean a meditation session doesn't go by without cursing at her to
> her and Him for "ruining my life" (yes that is a Martyr speaking and
> is pathetic I know especially for a 31 year old adult:))
> Thank you in advance and sorry for the essay
turn a tulip into a rose. making peace with what
is, is a challenge for most. as long as you hold
the anger you can avoid the fact you have a loss.
yet in the emptiness, there is a grace. i have
found no way other than to be with what is. on
occasion i have also found the loving kindness
metta meditation to be useful. it is a simple
way to hold a wish for peace for all. when you
describe a great heart, only that part of you,
could have seen that in her. maybe all the hearts
in this matter could use some peace. certainly
our world can.
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