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14903When the thing you want to heal from....

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  • reikilove27
    May 24, 2006
      Sorry if this is a bit long, but I figure no better place to ask for
      your views on a situation such as this...

      Last year, a girl (she has posted on here and I'm sure some of you
      know her, but I will give the respect of not revealing a name as bad
      as I want to :)) that I thought was going to be my spiritual partner
      and wife (I wanted to marry her obviously) completely shattered
      everything I knew to be true....

      She (she practiced Sufism) left me and went off to see a SUFI Guru,
      who she eventually married (this Supposed guru lives in Pakistan by
      the way)...

      I can't believe it's been a year and still it feels like yesterday
      that she left.... the parts that I have trouble with trying to heal
      from this experience even through my Reiki (I am level II) and all
      kinds of meditation are the fololowing

      1. She Lied.. how could someone who is a supposed spiritual good
      person lie about the reasons that we were not meant to be when all the
      along the real reason turned out to be she started talking online to
      this guru overseas, and obviously was emotionally cheating on me with
      him... to me this is the only way someone breaks up with you and turns
      around and not even 2 months later sells all their belongings and goes
      to marry someone else....

      2. Aren't we who get into the "spiritual path", supposed to try to
      live up to the standards that we meditate and live on? So one side she
      lied, on the other side this Bastard guy (can you tell I'm still
      bitter) knew she was in a relationship and still talked her into doing
      this whole thing....

      I hope I am being clear.. my issue is a year later and i am still
      trying to heal through spiritual practices like Reiki and Meditation
      but it seems no matter what, I can't release how angry and upset I get
      at the actions she took... and also this has completely shattered my
      trust in people... I mean the last person that I thought would
      completely lie and cheat was this woman(my fault for seeing her as
      perfection I suppose).. she had a great heart,...
      beautiful spirit and lived in every way as spiritual path as one
      could... we both met on our path, and [I thought] this was what was
      meant to be....

      So question is.. how do you meditate/heal when the anger of something
      like this is clouding the very thing you are trying to heal from?
      I mean a meditation session doesn't go by without cursing at her to
      her and Him for "ruining my life" (yes that is a Martyr speaking and
      is pathetic I know especially for a 31 year old adult:))

      Thank you in advance and sorry for the essay
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