14903When the thing you want to heal from....
- May 24, 2006Sorry if this is a bit long, but I figure no better place to ask for
your views on a situation such as this...
Last year, a girl (she has posted on here and I'm sure some of you
know her, but I will give the respect of not revealing a name as bad
as I want to :)) that I thought was going to be my spiritual partner
and wife (I wanted to marry her obviously) completely shattered
everything I knew to be true....
She (she practiced Sufism) left me and went off to see a SUFI Guru,
who she eventually married (this Supposed guru lives in Pakistan by
I can't believe it's been a year and still it feels like yesterday
that she left.... the parts that I have trouble with trying to heal
from this experience even through my Reiki (I am level II) and all
kinds of meditation are the fololowing
1. She Lied.. how could someone who is a supposed spiritual good
person lie about the reasons that we were not meant to be when all the
along the real reason turned out to be she started talking online to
this guru overseas, and obviously was emotionally cheating on me with
him... to me this is the only way someone breaks up with you and turns
around and not even 2 months later sells all their belongings and goes
to marry someone else....
2. Aren't we who get into the "spiritual path", supposed to try to
live up to the standards that we meditate and live on? So one side she
lied, on the other side this Bastard guy (can you tell I'm still
bitter) knew she was in a relationship and still talked her into doing
this whole thing....
I hope I am being clear.. my issue is a year later and i am still
trying to heal through spiritual practices like Reiki and Meditation
but it seems no matter what, I can't release how angry and upset I get
at the actions she took... and also this has completely shattered my
trust in people... I mean the last person that I thought would
completely lie and cheat was this woman(my fault for seeing her as
perfection I suppose).. she had a great heart,...
beautiful spirit and lived in every way as spiritual path as one
could... we both met on our path, and [I thought] this was what was
meant to be....
So question is.. how do you meditate/heal when the anger of something
like this is clouding the very thing you are trying to heal from?
I mean a meditation session doesn't go by without cursing at her to
her and Him for "ruining my life" (yes that is a Martyr speaking and
is pathetic I know especially for a 31 year old adult:))
Thank you in advance and sorry for the essay
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