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14252Re: [Meditation Society of America] Unselfish Love

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  • Rushikant Mehta
    Aug 1, 2005
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      Truth, very well said !
       
      But how can one stop coloring the events with 'should/should not' ?
      Just by thinking & wishing a million times that I don't want to do it ? Or determining that I'll NOT do it ?
       
      Nope, the conscious mind may want & decide not to add color to an event but the habit of doing that is so deeply & intensly ingrained in the subconscious that the moment the event occurs, it overpowers the intellect & reasoning of the poor conscious & before one knows, reaction takes place. When this is happening it is nearly impossible to get detached from it & witness it from a distance.
       
      Here is how meditation helps. If one sits alone doing NOTHING, the first thing that props up in mind is the memory of the most powerful passonate event that has taken place recently or before. And mind starts coloring it with thoughts & wishes. One starts rolling over in them  just as if the event is reocurring even though the other party concerned is not physically present to cause or contribute to it. Along with that flood of emotions, a number of sensations start arising in the body. With little practice & patience one can observe these sensations. And lo ! that mental act of observing helps to stand, bear & witness that flow arising & intensifying but slowly & surely waning & withering away! With every re-run of this observation, the strength of that event's influence in the mind also weakens till it completely passes out. Very soon, one can experience that the mind is absolutely free of the after-effects of that event. So much so that its memory no longer pains. If by chance the other person confronts again, the mind being bereft of all negativities surrounding that person, one can cooly face the reality & hit the solution to the relationship tangle.
      Inspired by the result, as one practices more & more,one can eradicate all accumulated 'sanskaars' of innumerable events, by developing this attitude of detached witnessing & can then remain cool, unhazed, unfazed in any future event too. 
       
      If meditation cannot help to this end, nothing else can.
      And if meditation cannot help to this end, it is anything but meditation !
       
      -rushikant.
       
       
       

      Sandeep <sandeep1960@...> wrote:
       
      The sense of a suffering, .......the sense of a grief, the sense of a humilation, the sense of a hurt.......no matter about what and no matter what the intensity, ......... are all opportunities to explore.



      Irrespective of the elements making up the suffering, (they keep changing anyway, while suffering remains suffering)........ 

      see what is the case in the moment. 

      There has been or is currently enfolding.......... a series of events, as actions, whether physical, emotional or mental.

      These physical, emotion, mental events, ...........are just that... ...happenings in a phenomenal context....making up that very phenomenal context.


      Along with these events, is the associated feeling, conclusion, judgement, yearning.

      Which is,.............. these events should not have been so.

      Or,......... yes these events ARE what should have been.


      One converts the events into a sense of suffering, into a sense of grief , a sense of hurt.

      The other converts the same events into a sense of joy, into a sense of happiness.




      It does not require much intelligence to see that the events per se have nothing to do with the sense of the suffering

      or the sense of joy prevailing in that moment, but it is the added flavouring aka the sense of "should/should-not" which is.



      That the dearly beloved has responded in "a" manner .......... is an event.

      That such "should not have happened"......  converts that event into suffering.

      My life is one succession of "disastrous" events.

      That is not the misery.

      That it should have been something else .....anything but this......

      ........is the sense of misery.


      So knowing this,............ what does one do with the sense of depression, the sense of suffering,.....

      .... the sense of loss, .........which may very well persist, ........despite knowing (at least intellectually) that the it is nothing but my contribution to the event.





      If you can see (and that can only be in the instant)...............that if the event which got coloured and is now seen to be the source of misery.....

      .......if that event had to happen as a nuance of the functioning of Totality.....as the moment............then that very sense of colouration-of-the-
       
      event=ensuing-sense-of-misery.............cannot but be......... part of the same nuance itself!!!


      That,.... the continued sense of misery is also an attribute of the same event.

      And will end, if it is supposed to end.

      And will continue, if it is supposed to continue.




      Such a seeing, such an apperceiving......

      ..... is the immediate transcendence of the phenomenal context, in which the event and associated sense of misery/joy is taking place.





      Now if that apperceiving has not taken place (again that not-haven-taken-place....... too is part of the moment)......

      .....another arising movement could well come to be.........which is to investigate this sense of suffering.



      Rather than look to alter the event (which if it is to take place, it will anyway)..........look to ascertain just who is it,.........for whom, .......the event is a suffering, a "hurt". 

      A suffering is only a sense of a suffering and thus of relevance, or significance........... only for a "sufferer".

      Look for that "sufferer" or the hurt. 



      How to do that?

      A sense of a hurt, a sense of a feeling, no matter what that feeling is about........ ......is after all an arising thought...with maybe an associated sensation in the body.

      To whom did this thought arise to?

      A question,............ to which,............. if another thought arises as an answer.... ....the question remains intact.....

      ....as to whom did this "now-answer-thought" arise to?

      And so on.



      Thus the question can never be thought out of it's existence.



      But there is an ending of the question.........which can only be in the end of the "questioner".



      With the ending of the entity...........is the end of the sense of suffering..............but not necessarily the end of the events which prompted the entire hoopla.


      Thus,.......... relationships start, relationships end,

      fortunes arrive in the open palms,

      fortunes slip away from those very open palms, ..

      ..change happens, evolution happens...

      ....things happen, .............events occur.....

      .....none is seen as good or bad.


      All is holy.

      All is profound.

      All is appropriate.

      All is....as it is....
       
      ...and even the terms "holy", "profound", "appropriate".........drop away.


      Moment to moment to moment.
       
       
       
       
      ----- Original Message -----
      Sent: Sunday, July 31, 2005 12:26 AM
      Subject: [Meditation Society of America] Unselfish Love

      Hello everyone,

      Something is really bothering me.  As our true natures, how do we
      express ourselves honestly with people?  I can just go with the flow. 
      But recently I had this loving awarenes, which I am, thrown back in my
      face in their time of anger.  It really hurt.

      I tried to be unselfish, and just be there for her, when she hugs me,
      and when she "kicks me in the balls".  But something is not right.  Why
      do I feel hurt?

      This must be some bad ass karma I was thinking.

      What is unselfish love?  I thought I knew.

      Namaste
      JJM




      May All Beings be Happy, be Peaceful, be Liberated from Misery.

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