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1406RE: [Meditation Society of America] Journal Entry - November 25 - tosime

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  • tosime
    Nov 25, 2002
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      Journal Entry - tosime
      Date: November 25
      Type: Meditation on inner sounds (with earplugs)
      Time: 07:30 a.m.
      Duration: 41 minutes (open)
      Posture: Seated on chair
      Body: Eyes closed,
      - tongue tip to pallet,
      - hands on knees-index finger touching thumb.
      Room Condition: Darkened room
      - One candle
      - Incense - one stick
      - Essential Oil - (Precious flowers+water on burner)
      Pre-session: Ring Bell
      - Sip of water
      - Ear plugs
      - full body stretch (3 times).
      Previous day's influence: Nonduality digest post - American Beauty.
      Mind Chatter: Medium.
      Waves of bliss: None.
      Experience: Very Good Session.

      Result: Interesting session today - hard to put into words

      Quote from post
      "...I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes when
      you die.
      First off that one second isn't one second at all, it stretches on forever
      like an
      ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at boy scout camp watching
      falling stars, and yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street,
      or
      my grandmother's hands and the way her skin seemed like paper, and the first
      time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new firebird. And Janie. And Janie. And
      Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed-off about what happened to me, but
      it's hard to stay mad when there's so much Beauty in the world. Sometimes I
      feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much, and my heart fills
      up like a
      balloon that's about to burst, and then I remember to relax and stop trying
      to
      hold onto it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel
      anything but
      gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea
      what I'm talking about, but don't worry, you will someday..."

      -Lester Burnam from "American Beauty"

      Normal start - allowed my mind to be free until my body had relaxed enough
      for me to direct the meditation. Today I decided to find out how long this
      takes, so when the inner sounds changed tone to signal the transition to the
      next stage, I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. It was about 20
      minutes into the session.

      After closing my eyes, I realized that I had gone backwards about a minute
      or so into the meditation. I had to wait for about a minute to get back to
      the "take over" point. The change in tone happened again and I took control
      as usual.

      The initial dialogue in American Beauty came up. It dawned on me that I was
      very attached to my thoughts - as a running commentary. I said to myself,
      "what if I became free of my attachments - what if I found the....[off
      button]". I did not complete the thought since I had switched off the
      running commentary. I felt like I was floating in zero gravity. I also
      noticed a pleasant feeling of release in my stomach area as if a normal
      tightness was suddenly released. I then decided (without the usual
      commentary) to release the attachment to my body. Creative ideas popped up
      (work related). This gave me the realization that these ideas were already
      in my mind but it took the release of attachment to my thoughts to release
      or see the ideas.

      After I released the attachment to my physical body, it felt as if it was
      moving of its own accord. I felt a series of involuntary movements almost
      like a slow gentle dance - it felt very strange.

      The whole experience was a little overwhelming so I decided to come out of
      my meditation - quite a lot to think about. Or quite a lot to not think
      about!
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