13985[Meditation Society of America] Re: TRANSMISSION
- May 5, 2005--- In email@example.com, "Jeff Belyea"
> > Can we be both sincere and...
> > indefatigable in our enquiry
> > without hope of status and
> > attainment?
> Yes, we can. When the enquiry
> comes from a place of despair,
> degradation, shame and guilt,
> and the hope is for release
> from their grip, neither purity
> nor status nor attainment are
> the foci.
> Even Greg uses the words "sweetness===These are good points. Sincerely and singlemindedly trying to end
> and light" in his report.
one's suffering is not the same as going for the status of having
attained a goal. When in the middle of great suffering, a person
would gladly trade all chances of lofty attainment for the relief
I remember one AIDS activist mentioning that he visited some AIDS
patients in the hospital. They said something that really made an
impression on him. They told him that sure, they remembered the
feverishly strong sexual compulsion they felt when they had sex all
those times - unprotected. There's a sort of divine madness that
takes over, seems like it will protect you. Now, they are
experiencing the aftermath. They all told the activist that they'd
gladly give away the sexual experiences they had, plus all hope of
*ever* having sex again, if they could only be free of the virus now.
In my case, I was intensely looking into the essence of my nature.
What made me ME? What makes anyone what they are, and not something
else? Where is my identity located? How is it carried? How is it
*my* identity? Although this was not a painful inquiry, it was a
constant one - yes, and it had a touch of sweet, light fascination.
I was really in the grips of it. My head was in the tiger's mouth.
I hadn't heard of any satsangs or spiritual groups doing this kind of
stuff. There was no association in my mind of a level, status or
endpoint to be reached. Because I had no acquaintances doing this
kind of thing, I really didn't have a socially constructed notion of
a kind of person to compare myself to, or "an after it is over." I
was doing it in kind of an open and unknowing way.
P.S. Plus, meditation helped!
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