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  • Aloke mukerjee
    Sep 15, 2004
    • 0 Attachment
      good expressions.


      >From: "blueoceantiger" <jkane@...>
      >Reply-To: meditationsocietyofamerica@yahoogroups.com
      >To: meditationsocietyofamerica@yahoogroups.com
      >Subject: [Meditation Society of America] for the one who feels unloved
      >Date: Tue, 14 Sep 2004 20:12:24 -0000
      >
      >Dear R*** from Pakistan:
      >
      >I acknowledge your feeling that you have
      >not experienced love. In this world even
      >those that do experience what they call love,
      >often come up with pain and the awareness that
      >it has always been conditional when this is
      >really looked at. Love based on being a good
      >boy, good girl, good student, good worker,
      >good parent, good partner, good friend, good
      >citizen. When we begin to look at what love
      >really is, as an unconditional presence that
      >accepts us totally and completely as we are,
      >with nothing needed in exchange, then it
      >becomes more evident this is rarely the case
      >in the world.
      >
      >As far as what love may mean if you continue to
      >look at this with yourself, or with others, i
      >will share my own experience. I have had a history
      >of extreme trauma and abuse and grew up thinking i
      >had to do something to receive love. I saw it as
      >something earned and something between things. As
      >my own unfolding has occurred, and probably mainly
      >because of my ongoing, intense longing to know love,
      >to know the absolute, i have tried many things.
      >
      >In the end what has helped is becoming willing to
      >be "with" myself. That for me is what meditation is
      >about. Taking the time to release expectations of
      >doing, and to just be. When i offer myself an
      >unconditional space, and allow what arises including
      >any feelings i've avoided, clear awareness opens.
      >Within this, love becomes known. At one point i thought
      >nothing was inside, and that was part of my fear.
      >I came to this awareness through pain, through
      >accepting nothing outside would ever fill the ache,
      >the part that felt unlovable. I hit a point where
      >realizing i had nothing left, i surrendered. I gave
      >up thinking i could ever have what i thought i wanted.
      >And when i opened to what seemed like nothing and
      >accepted that, it opened all kinds of possibilities.
      >
      >This emptiness inside is actually the most
      >receptive unconditional love of all. It asks
      >nothing and expects nothing. And as i remain
      >with this it becomes clear this is who i am on
      >a deeper level, and really on all levels. And
      >yet what can really be said about this is so
      >wordless. There are so many cliches and aphorisms,
      >many starting with "all you have to do is...."
      >and i used to find that frustrating. it seemed
      >every book ended with and in conclusion, "all
      >you have to do is love yourself". and i would
      >think, yeah, but how?
      >
      >i do know that my search all along was my love
      >looking out for me. you've ended up at Bob Rose's
      >site and online because you too are looking.
      >i reach across countries, and i genuinely wish you
      >to know that we all have this Heart, it is the same
      >that beats my heart, that beats your heart. It is
      >this aliveness that flows through us all that comes
      >as love. It can be easy to mistake because it is
      >like nothing of the images the daily world shows.
      >It can be very quiet, non-assuming, present and
      >i suspect as you continue you will recognize it
      >has actually been here all along.
      >
      >i speak from heart to heart. after reading beautiful
      >online posts only a few nights ago, i cried feeling so
      >sad that i had no way to express or stand for love.
      >i am equally drawn in places online where clarity
      >and wisdom are so honored, however love sometimes
      >get misrepresented as something fluffy and unimportant.
      >i felt so overcome with my resonance with the love
      >that radiates, and so limited in my ability to
      >represent it in places where it is denied or put down.
      >and so i write to you as myself today and as my own
      >acknowledgment of "love". i believe in love, i
      >experience love and it is what i bow to. it is grace
      >that has opened this for me. and what i experience
      >now is not what could ever come from outside, it could
      >only be recognized as what sources all that is.
      >
      >what can serve to separate me from my awareness of love
      >are my thoughts. and yet i have come to see that they
      >too are simply seeking love. welcoming all that arises
      >within is the essence of unconditional love and allows
      >all obstruction to dissipate, so that this radiance
      >may be clear, unmistakably present, right here and now,
      >freely available for all.
      >
      >and so as i conclude this, i open my heart to all that
      >may feel unloved within me, and within the wordless
      >silence, there is stillness and embrace.
      >
      >namaste,
      >--josie--
      >


      Aloke

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