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1315Journal Entry, Eve-October 30

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  • eveneon
    Nov 4, 2002
      Time: 8:00am
      Duration: 15 minutes (open)
      Position: Sitting in chair, eyes closed
      Technique: Body and breath awareness
      Variation: Chanted OM silently

      This was the first time I have sat down and meditated in over a
      month. My chatter was high but, surprisingly, my concentration was
      pretty good. My body started to distract me; Date: October 30, 2002
      back pain and jaw pain. This used to happen when I first started
      meditating last spring. It was a short session. Not much else to say
      about it, other than I was glad I did it. Not sure why.

      Notes: I didn't plan on meditating today, it just happened. I guess I
      was ready to start it up again. I stopped meditating because I got
      busy with a big job and found I didn't have the time to do it. Then,
      when I finished the job I had been working on, I realized that I just
      didn't feel like meditating. I'm not sure why. I didn't want to force
      it, so I just said, "okay, I'm stopping for a while." At first I
      noticed that although I wasn't meditating, I seemed to be very aware
      during the day, witnessing my life as it was taking place. Maybe this
      was because I wasn't meditating in the morning so a meditative state
      would kick in during the day instead. But, eventually, I began to
      lose that awareness and started to get lost in my internal dialog of
      thoughts, not noticing my emotions or my body (breathing shallow and
      scrunched up posture.
      I guess that is why I feel drawn to begin meditating on a daily basis
      again. I feel like I am slipping away. From what I don't know. But
      just as I felt it was to stop, now I feel it is time to start again.
      We will see what happens.
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