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  • buffalos3@webtv.net
    If You haven t joined LynnLynn s mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@egroups.com Please Visit Our Sponsors
    Message 1 of 2 , May 21, 2001
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      If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail
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    • buffalos3@webtv.net
      Adult Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. An Open Letter to Wal-Mart Yesterday in need of light
      Message 2 of 2 , Sep 17, 2001
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        Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
        name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

        An Open Letter to Wal-Mart
        Yesterday in need of light bulbs , floppy disks, and sodas I went to
        your store at Cascade Crossings. The wife and daughter accompanied
        me and took off in separate directions for hair care items and stuff
        we entered the store. As usual I took 10 minutes to locate the items
        needed and checked out about 30 minutes before the wife did. As I
        waited two people exiting the store set off the anti-theft security
        and were escorted over to the side where their purchased were
        against the cash register receipts, the offending tags deenergized
        and they
        were allowed to leave. I thought to myself " What a hassle".

        Finally tiring of standing waiting for the wife , I decided to go to
        the car
        and set off the alarm myself. Same inconvenience , five minutes of
        standing around while my bags were checked and same embarrassment
        as everyone in the store stares at you .

        Although I am aware of the necessity of the system to control the
        costs of merchandise due to theft, your system is defective. Whether
        it is
        a problem with the equipment or poor training of your employees, I do
        not appreciate it . Get your act together.

        Hope you enjoy the chips today as we rush headlong into who knows


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        The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband
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        Again, the second woman commented, "Well, isn't that nice."

        The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my
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        Yet again, the second woman commented "Well, isn't that nice."

        The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy
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        "Charm school!" the first woman smiled, "land sakes, child, what on
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        The second woman responded, "So that instead of saying 'Who gives a
        shit' I learned to say, 'Well, isn't that nice'."


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        Bar Room Translations

        1. "You get this one, next round is on me." (We won't be here long
        enough to
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        2. "I'll get this one, next one is on you." (Happy hour is about to
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        3. "Hey, where is that friend of yours?" (I have no interest in
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        you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising

        4. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female) (I'm easy.)

        5. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male) (I'm gay.)

        6. "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female) (I am even willing to
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        7. "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male) (If this is how wild I am
        in the
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        8. "I don't feel well, let's go home." (female) (You are paying more
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        9. I don't feel well, let's go home." (male) (I'm horny.)

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        11. "Excuse Me." (male to male) (Get the hell out of the way.)

        12. "Excuse Me." (male to female) (I am going to grope you now.)
        Note - one of my personal favorites)

        13. "Excuse Me." (female to male) (Don't even think about groping me,
        get the hell out of the way.)

        14. "Excuse Me." (female to female) (Move your fat ass. Who do you
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        15. "What do you have on tap?" (What's cheap?)

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        19. Can I just get a glass of water?" (female) (I'm annoying, but
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        20. I don't have my ID on me." (female) (I'm 19.)

        21. "I don't have my ID on me." (male) (I don't have a license since
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        Once, there was a man who was upset by his past deeds that he decided
        visit a church and confess all of his sins. When he arrived at the
        he walked to the confession area and spoke to the pastor.

        "Father, I am sinful."

        "Yes, son, just tell me what have you done, the Lord will forgive

        "Father, I have a steady relationship with my girlfriend, it's been 3
        and nothing serious ever happened between us. Yesterday, I visited
        house, nobody was at home except for her sister. We were alone and I
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        "That's bad my boy, fortunately you realize your mistake."

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        "Father?......... Father?"

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        Limerick Chips

        There once was a man named Mort
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        From The Buffalos Mail Box

        Here is a touching account of some of our employees in the WTC.

        All, I recently toured a Switchroom after being out of a Central
        Office for many years. I started as a C.O. Technician over twenty
        three years ago, however, I did not realize that I had forgotten the
        personal diligence required to maintain quality service in one of our
        offices. This switchroom tour left a very positive impression on
        me. Especially my young tour guide Derrick. As he showed me around,
        his pride in his switchroom, the service they provide and pride in
        our new company was so very obvious. Even after my many years of
        service, Derrick's contagious, enthusiasm, dedication, and
        professionalism for is job, reinstalled pride in me, and made me
        reminisce, wishing I was back in the switchroom again. I'm not
        normally real talkative but I kept talking with Derrick. I was
        enjoying the atmosphere and Derrick's refreshing professional and
        upbeat personality. I discovered that he was not only proud of his
        work but of his wife, family and all of life in general. He seemed
        to have that balance between work and home that is so important (a
        balance that took me too many years to discover). He also took me up
        one flight of stairs and showed me around outside. When I think back
        of my tour with Derrick and Lenny and the rest of the technicians, I
        also want to be proud of our profession and give it my best each
        day. Why not, I take the time to drive into work every day to
        support my family. Having pride in this seems only right. You see,
        Derrick was also very proud of the fact that his switchroom was
        located on the top of one of the highest buildings in America.
        Derrick is one of the young men who worked on the
        110th floor of World Trade Center 2 (south tower) in the Verizon GNI
        & Genuity Switchroom. Derrick Washington, Lenny and 4 technicians
        are missing. Please join me and pray that very soon, Derrick, Lenny
        and the rest of our diligent and proud technicians are found to be
        safe and as healthy as possible.

        Thank you, I just wanted to share this memory....

        Will Hightower Verizon Network Services

        I couldn't agree more with the letter sent by Joy Spears in
        today's 'Chips'.
        The media tend, too often, to sensationalize as much as possible -
        all in the
        quest for better ratings. The media - all forms of news media - need
        to act
        in a more responsible manner. Telling the world things that should
        under wraps - troop movements, our leaders whereabouts, etc. - is not
        responsible journalism.
        Thanks for your ear........


        Hi Buffalo,Thanks for the site and your perspective on the events
        that happen in this world. I have to agree with one of the letters
        that you had today. Why in the world would the media tell where our
        leaders are at?? Why not just put them in the front of a parade and
        send them down the main street in Washington? It would be the same
        difference. I know we are a free nation and we should know some
        things at all times but there are some things better left unsaid. The
        same should be said with what our plans are as far a "response" as to
        what has happened. Some people have gone into much to much detail
        about what we could possibly have planned. My son is in the Navy and
        I for one sure as hell don't want the enemy to know anything!! We
        elected these people to make the best decisions for this nation and I
        think the media should just wait and see what's going to happen just
        as the rest of us should. It's a scary time for all of us but we sure
        don't need to help the enemy by runn! ing our mouths about stuff they
        don't need to know!! God Bless you and the rest of this Great
        P.S. Keep up the good work you have been doing and Thanks for the
        diversion you give us from all that has happened!!
        Dawn :o)
        Have a GREAT day!! :o)

        would it possible for you toput in one of your daily jokes a
        downloadable AMERICAN FLAG?
        as it is impossible to find a flag it might be helpful....

        ray parsons

        Sure Ray Via our Poofcat

        I read the message from Clay about Buffalo's in Athens, Georgia. As an
        Athenian, I have eaten at Buffalo's several times. Buffalo, if you'd
        like a menu, let me know - I'll be happy to send you one :o)
        Thanks for the chips, and keep them coming.
        I must agree with everyone that we have to have some sense of routine
        back in our lives since the crashes. Your lists help to distract us
        from actual reality. I just wish that the television channels would
        follow your example (Fox5 in Atlanta - are you listening? And no, I'm
        not talking about the FoxNews channel, but our local broadcasting
        station.) As much as I'd like to keep updated on what's going on, I'd
        also like to have my mind distracted from the crashes, and with 24
        hour coverage being all that's on the boob tube, it doesn't leave
        much room for any other thoughts. It's also having an effect on my
        children, considering they are used to being able to find something
        on TV, but all they see are smoking buildings and they only hear
        about the death toll and retribution. Let the kids be kids - turn it
        off and make us read it in banners across the bottom of the screen.
        Break in to programming if it's something important, but allow us
        something else for our minds already! The only thing that having it
        on 24 hours per day is doing is adding fuel to the inferno that's
        already brewing. 'Nuff griping?
        Anyway, thanks for giving us something to give us a little normalcy
        in our
        lives in this chaotic time.
        Athens, Georgia

        ( Had a good friend on the Constellation named Joe Varnell from Athens
        our paths split in 77 and like lots of people we never kept touch .
        Remember the town though because of the difference in pronunciation
        from Athens Ill.
        which has a short A sound.)


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