Tales from the Tail End - If you're seeing plastic penguins?
- Yeah, I paddle now with a plastic penguin. You've heard of the various species of penguins; emperors, kings, magellanic, rockhoppers. Chilly Willy (his full name) is a loghopper penguin, and he rides on the bow of my canoe. He's a good companion this time of year because he doesn't mind the cold weather.
Things you should know about Willy:
He complains less than a wife in a tandem canoe.
If I smack him with a paddle, he won't threaten divorce or make me sleep on the couch.
He doesn't care what's for lunch and doesn't need sunglasses or expensive paddling boots.
He will paddle with me; Pam won't.
He doesn't care who he paddles with, thus his inclusion in LRCC.
He doesn't tip the boat; Pam would.
He floats, that could be very useful paddling with me.
I like to make fun of his useless wings.
Bad things about Willy:
Willy doesn't contribute anything to the paddling effort.
He has been known to pee in the boat, maybe because he has no hands.
He complains constantly, Pam only complained occasionally.
He's absolutely worthless on a portage.
He passes gas, and penguin flatulence is really, really, really bad.
A low branch will slap Willy silly, but it does shut him up for awhile.
He's a smug little bird and very condescending, you should hear what he says about Jim McDermott.
The best thing about paddling with Chilly Willy? He's much more intelligent than some of the people I paddle with.