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Tales From The Tail End - 2010 Resolutions

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  • mitchthane
    Well, Jim McD started it, so I may as well post my useless 2010 resolutions for all to share as well. I hereby resolve: • To trust in Paul Ferguson, who
    Message 1 of 2 , Dec 28, 2009
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      Well, Jim McD started it, so I may as well post my useless 2010 resolutions for all to share as well.

      I hereby resolve:

      • To trust in Paul Ferguson, who wrote the book on our rivers, and acknowledge that there were good reasons that he did not include certain creeks and rivers in his book.
      • Not to use my boat as a battering ram or my face as a weedeater.
      • Not to wrestle a beaver, or an alligator, or a wasp nest or any large stump, should the opportunity present itself, even though the temptation be great.
      • To use the bottom of my boat for its intended purpose; which is to remain under me, not over me.
      • To keep reverence for Pontoon, Lesser God of the Lumber River, third cousin twice removed of Neptune, King Of The Sea, and to provide occasional sacrifices in the form of my novice friends whom I don't like very much.
      • To give up on trying to keep up with or follow Omer R. or Frank D., who will lead you into temptation but will not deliver you from evil.
      • To resist the temptation of unexplored waters, the lies of maps and the false hopes of bridges.
      • To eat more good food with Don Meese and eat fewer spiders, which I seem to do a lot of as I paddle.
      • To teach as many of my paddling friends as possible how to use a chainsaw, and help them buy good ones that can be used in water. Wonder if Fayetteville Tech would pay me to teach a class on basic paddling and woodcutting?
      • To encourage more people to join us paddling, so I won't have to do all the stupid stuff.
      • To apologize to Jim McD before every trip, even though he has led me down many a nasty channel and is directionally challenged, and smack him in the head if he follows me down a wonderful shortcut.
      • To listen to Marshall Thompson sing when he paddles, because it makes him happy and it scares off the bad critters and swamp monsters.
      • To be kind to new paddlers who join our trips, and lie to them as much as possible, lest they find out too quickly how bizarre we really are.
      • To tie my camera and my GPS to my boat or person, or something that floats and is brightly colored, ergo easy to find when I drop it in the river. A camera and three GPS units are sacrifice enough.
      • To avoid redbugs and poison ivy, if at all possible. I prefer memories over mementos.
      • To remain humble and contrite, so that Pontoon won't feel the need to make me so.
      • To ignore the suggestions of my fellow paddlers when they tell me about other great canoe clubs I should join - PERMANENTLY.


      See you soon on the river, unless you can outsmart me.
    • Paul Ferguson
      Mitch, ... There are numerous miles of small streams and too little time to do them all. I like to hear of the gems and avoid the masochistic paddling. Reading
      Message 2 of 2 , Dec 30, 2009
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        Mitch,

        > I hereby resolve:
        > - To trust in Paul Ferguson, who wrote the book on our rivers, and
        > acknowledge that there were good reasons that he did not include certain
        > creeks and rivers in his book.

        There are numerous miles of small streams and too little time to do them all. I
        like to hear of the gems and avoid the masochistic paddling. Reading about your
        exploring brings both the pleasure of humorous accounts and the comfortable
        satisfaction of not being there.



        > - To teach as many of my paddling friends as possible how to use a chainsaw,
        > and help them buy good ones that can be used in water.
        > Wonder if Fayetteville Tech would pay me to teach a class on basic paddling
        > and woodcutting?

        Paddling has its own risks, but combining it with chain sawing adds a new
        dimension of danger. Keep up the clearing and keep your teeth in the wood.

        Happy New Year,
        Paul
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