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Divine Humor

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  • Carolpippin@aol.com
    ... You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled
    Message 1 of 2 , Apr 14, 2003

      >>Divine Humor
      >  Rules for Being Human by Antarah Rose

      You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it
      will be yours for the entire period this time around.

      You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full time
      information school called Life. Each day in this school you will
      have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons
      or think them irrelevant or stupid.

      There are no mistakes, only lessons. The "failed" experiments
      are as much a part of the process as the experiment that "works."

      A lesson is repeated until learned. It will be presented in
      various forms until you have learned it. Then you can go on to the
      next lesson.

      Learning lessons DOES NOT END.

      "There" is no better than "here." When your "there" has become
      "here," you will simply obtain another "there" that will, again,
      look better than "here."

      Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate
      something about another person unless it reflects to you something
      that you love or hate in yourself.

      What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools
      and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The
      choice IS yours.

      Your answers lie WITHIN YOU. The answers to life's questions
      lie INSIDE YOU. All you need to do is listen, look and trust.

      You WILL forget this!




      Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
      Checked by AVG Anti-virus system (http://grisoft.com)
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      Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
    • Carolpippin@aol.com
      Moses And The Lord Excuse me, Sir. Is that you again, Moses? I m afraid it is, Sir. What is it this time, Moses; more computer problems? How did you
      Message 2 of 2 , Apr 1, 2004

        Moses And The Lord

        "Excuse me, Sir."

        "Is that you again, Moses?"

        "I'm afraid it is, Sir."

        "What is it this time, Moses; more computer problems?"

        "How did you guess?"

        "I don't have to guess, Moses.  Remember ?"

        "Oh, yes; I forgot."

        "Tell me what you want, Moses."

        "But you already know, Sir. Remember?"


        "Sorry, Sir."

        "Well, go ahead, Moses; spit it out."

        "Well, I have a question, Sir.  You know those ten 'things' you sent me via e-mail?"

        "You mean the Ten Commandments, Moses?"

        "That's it.  I was wondering if they are important."

        "What do you mean 'if they are important,' Moses?  Of course, they are important. 
        Otherwise, I would not have sent them to you."

        "Well, sorry, Sir, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them; but, of course, you would see right through that."

        "What do you mean you 'lost them'?  Are you trying to tell me you didn't save them, Moses?"

        "No, Sir; I forgot."

        "You should always save, Moses."

        "Yes, I know. You told me that before.   I was going to save them, but I forgot. I did forward them to some people before I lost them though."

        "And did you hear back from any of them?"

        "You already know I did.   There was the one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not.'  May he change the words a little bit?"

        "Yes, Moses, as long as he does not change the meaning."

        "And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh, and recommended calling them the 'Ten Suggestions,' or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?"

        "Moses, I will act as if I did not hear that."

        "I think that means 'no.'  Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?"

        "I think the term is 'spamming,' Moses."

        "Oh, yes.   I E-mailed him back and told him I don't even eat that stuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer."

        "And what did he say?"

        "You know what he said.  He used Your name in vain.  You don't think he might have sent me one of those -- err -- plagues, and that's the reason I lost those ten 'things', do you?"

        "They are not plagues; they are called 'viruses,' Moses."

        "Whatever!  This computer stuff is just too much for me.  Can we go back to those stone tablets?  It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but at least I never lost them."

        "We will do it the new way, Moses; using computers!!"

        "I was afraid you would say that, Sir."

        "Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?"

        "You told me to hold up this rat and point it toward the computer."

        "It's a mouse, Moses, not a rat.  Mouse!  Mouse! 
        And did you do that?"

        "No, I decided to try calling technical support first.   After all, who knows more about this stuff than you?   And I really like your hours.  By the way, Sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?"

        "No, Moses."

        "One other thing.  Why did you not name them 'frog s' instead of 'mice,' because did you not tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?"

        "I did not name them, Moses.  Man did, and you can call yours a frog if you want to."

        "Oh, that explains it.  I bet some woman told Adam to call it a mouse.  After all, was it not a woman who named one of the computers 'Apple?'"

        "Say good night, Moses."

        "Wait a minute, Sir.  I am pointing the mouse, and it seems to be working.  Yes, a couple of the ten 'things' have come back."

        "Which ones are they, Moses?"

        "Let me see. 
        'Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image' and
        'Thou shalt not uncover Thy neighbor's wife.'"

        "Turn the computer off, Moses.
        I'm sending you another set of stone tablets."

        Love, Light and Peace,             


        Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.           
        Checked by AVG Anti-virus system (http://grisoft.com)
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        Hold fast to your dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.
        L. Hughes

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