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Colleen Joy: Pain is a messenger

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  • Ash
    This does speak on many, many levels to areas and am sure that there are many thoughts, opinions, perspectives on this and would like to hear any and all
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 27, 2010
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      This does speak on many, many levels to areas and am sure that there are many thoughts, opinions, perspectives on this and would like to hear any and all comments on the whole nature of this. I know that, if in being honest with myself, often enough pain has been a teacher. Not that I go out looking for it and certainly do not gravitate myself toward it this has all been a process of relearning that when I attempt to block off or shut this away when becoming successful I end up causing myself to shut off on the other experiences of life. All apart of life and learning how to accept and release and flow. So any comments whatsoever I welcome to hear on this and feel free to pass along to others that you feel would benefit from it. love, Shay

      Dear Friends

      When pain speaks to you, do you listen? Or do you suppress its cry, banishing it to some remote region of your mind and body?

      Continued from our last lesson on painkillers, let's look a little deeper at emotional pain. This is a long one - worth reading when you have time to fully explore the ideas.

      Pain is a messenger - Lesson 35:  

      Pain always lives in the dark and the empty places of your being. When you try to kill it or suppress it, it lives on and grows. It thrives in the darkness of fear and ignorance. Its voice becomes louder when you try to silence it. Pain of any kind, whether emotional, physical or mental is not the cause. Pain is the messenger. Is it helpful to shoot the messenger?

      Your body uses pain to warn you of a bodily function that is out of balance. It hopes that you will listen and "bring to light" the cause of the underlying imbalance. Emotional and mental pain are also messengers of imbalance and discord.

      Modern society teaches us to want quick fixes and immediate gratification, so we are armed and go with guns blazing after the messenger. Rather than listening we take a painkiller to kill off the body ache. A painkiller does not fix the cause of the pain it just silences the messenger. Physical painkillers are easy to name, but what of your emotional and mental painkillers?

      The physical body is the final destination of pain that begins its journey in the energy bodies of emotion and thought. The imbalances that ultimately affect our physical health begin in non-physical health. Pain always starts sending its signals to us on the mental and emotional levels. If we kill these messengers we ignore the hidden imbalance that ultimately manifests physically. So most importantly we must learn about our non-physical pain.

      What does it mean to take an emotional or mental painkiller?

      By suppressing emotional or mental pain you build a dark place within, a self made dungeon, and then you push your pain in, build walls around it and lock the door. You want it dark because you do not want to see. You want it silenced because you do not want to hear. You return to the surface of your life and try to pretend that the pain is safely gone. You fill your life with distractions and painkilling activities, so that you will forget about your prisoner. Just when you think you have killed the pain, your painkillers wear off. You wish for dreamless sleep and ignore the empty feelings that grow inside you. You can't be alone or in silence with yourself because then you will hear pain calling from behind its walls. So you fill you life with anything to keep the volume up and to keep you away from yourself. When life brings you reminders of pain you go back and build thicker, and thicker walls, until one day the dungeon fills the castle that is you, and you find that y ou are completely empty and in darkness. You have accomplished your goal, you are victorious because you feel no pain, but neither can you feel anything else. You feel no love, no joy, no laughter and no life. When you shut in the darkness, you shut out the light.


      You build the dungeon and walls to try to escape feeling the pain of the moment. In that moment you believe that you are smaller than the source of the pain and your fear of being powerless sends you into plan B… you lock it away. What you do not realise then, is that the prisoner is a part of yourself and not a stranger. When you build a dark prison to fill with your pain you wall off pieces of yourself. So instead of allowing a short-term experience of pain you sentence yourself to emptiness and numbness. You begin as whole and end up with holes. Like a circle that becomes a jigsaw piece you feel empty and unfulfilled and then go out into the world looking for the missing parts of you. You believe that only an external source can give you back to yourself.

      Once upon a time you disowned the parts of yourself that came with pain, so only you can reintegrate them. No one else is responsible for your happiness and wholeness, only you are. External sources of wholeness (relationships, material possessions, etc.) provide us with reminders of what wholeness feels like but they are not true wholeness. True wholeness comes from filling our holes from the inside out. When you need another to make you feel whole, beautiful, worthy or loved this is an indication that the parts of yourself that know beauty, wholeness, self-worth or love are walled off along with the pain that came to speak to you about truth. To find wholeness again you must face the prisoner of every dungeon that walls off the parts of your whole self. And you must face the prison warden and question the beliefs that built the dungeon. The only way out is in.


      The way to wholeness is from the inside out. If you seek wholeness you must own the mask rather than be the mask. Then you must find the truth of who you are and let it see the light of day. The truth is that you are equal to anything. Pain comes to tell you that you feel less than or greater than. To have any part of the Self be less than or greater than takes you away from being a whole perfect circle to being a jigsaw with holes.

      When you face the hardest task but know inside that you are equal to it, you face it with power and truth. When you can equal yourself to everything that you think is greater than you AND when you can equal yourself to everything that you think is lesser than you, you will find the source of the pain and can find healing. To be equal to something or someone opens dialogue and brings things to light. Darkness does not fight the light, it is not an equal and opposing force. Ignorance and fear may keep you in the dark but knowledge and truth will light up even the darkest dungeon. Darkness is a lack of wholeness.

      Your Apple Tree is the true you. It is whole, and seeks to be whole in a physical body. It is equal to everything, it needs nothing. It wants to express and feel this while in the physical world. Your apple tree is the silence that brings light to the inner dungeons. So face the messenger of pain without fear, your apple tree will listen with patience and understanding and then if you allow it to, it will fill your body with truth, dissolve the walls and fill the holes.

      Fear digs holes, love builds wholeness.

      “Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain”. Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet.

      Meditation -

      Close your eyes for a few minutes and consider how to end the war with emotional pain and rather listen to its important message, a message that likely will want to take you to healing.

      Question -

      What important message might pain be bringing to you?

      All my love,  


      InnerLifeSkills Coaching International
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      'May we live in peace without weeping. May our joy outline the lives we touch without ceasing. And may our love fill the world, angel wings tenderly beating.'
      The Universal Heart Center

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