The gift of our tumours
My biggest fear was simple; I was terrified of being visible. A large brain tumour grew above my right eye when I was 3 years old, and it threatened both my sight and my life. Memories of my childhood included: being laughed at, stared at and of being frightened by people (well because I was frightening to them). The tumour was eventually removed and I died twice during the operation. But despite that; the tumour was gone (by age 9 after a 2nd surgery), I lived for years terrified of being visible.
I bet you didn’t need a tumour to hide some part of you away for fear of the judgement of others? My tumour became a gift. Today I know that had I not faced death, I would not have found life; had my sight not almost been lost, I would have never learnt to look deeper, and had I not learnt about hiding the “unlovable parts of myself” I would not have learnt to love myself and then others.
When I was afraid of people, I didn’t like people. We never like the things we fear and then we find every reason we can to be separate, to hide and to make ourselves small. I didn’t like people because I was convinced that they didn’t like me (I was trying to beat them to it). That was until the day I learnt something so simple, that it changed my life forever. That even if I stand on stage in front of hundreds of people (which I now do as a speaker), no one can see me! We don’t see each other, instead we see ourselves, we see the missing or exaggerated parts of ourselves, the parts we love, the parts we don’t, the parts we wish we were more of and the parts we wish we were less of…all there showing up as other people. That is why if you want to understand humankind; you need only to truly understand yourself. It was only when I learnt to have a relationship with myself and to love
the tumours (real and imagined) in me, that I could have relationships with others and experience love for them.
Make your relationship with yourself a priority. Treat yourself with the care, love and compassion that you would hope others would treat you. Love yourself, especially the tumours (the unlovable parts of self). Then when people with real or imagined tumours show up in your life, your heart will not close, it will stay open and you will feel compassion and love for all people.
Here is a link to a video about me (and therefore about you).
I’ll be sending you an e-mail later today or tomorrow to invite you to be a part of something special. I want you to be a part of the inspiration for my next book.
Much love and joy,
Professional Speaker, author and InnerLifeSkills™ Coach
The Colleen-Joy™ Company
Be all you were born to be!
Tel: (+27 11) 469 1666
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P.S. This week’s class in JHB Bryanston is on Relationship Healing, it’s a very powerful 2 week course. If you can make it, I highly recommend it! Simply e-mail pages@... for booking information.