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Re:< > Noah . . . 2008]

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  • JANICEWolfstar@aol.com
    In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in theUnited States, and said: Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 4 6:36 PM
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      In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in theUnited
      States, and said: Once again, the earth has become wicked and
      over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark
      and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.
          He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: You have 6 months to build the Ark
      before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights. Six months
      later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.
      Noah! He roared, I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark? Forgive me,
      Lord, begged Noah, 'but things have changed. I needed a building permit.
      I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
      My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by
      building the Arkin my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to
      go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of
      Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving
      power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the
      Ark's move to the  sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but
      they would hear nothing of it.Getting the wood was another problem. There's
      a ban on cutting local trees in  order to save the spotted owl. I tried to
      convince the       environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the
      owls - but no go! When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights
      group sued me. They       insisted that I was confining wild animals against
      their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was
      cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. Then the EPA
      ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental
      impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint
      with the Human Rights Commission on  how many minorities I'm supposed to
      hire for my building      crew. Immigration and Naturalization are checking
      the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.The trades
      unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union
      workers with Ark-building experience.To make matters worse, the IRS seized
      all my assets, claiming I'm
      trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive
      me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this
      Ark.Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
      stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, You mean
      you're not going to    destroy the world? No, said the Lord. The government
      beat me to it.




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