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Growing Younger

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  • Nachi
    Growing Younger I am finished with being a grown up. I want to play more. I want to eat ice-cream at the beach. I want to be more concerned about my toe
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 5, 2008
      Growing Younger

      I am finished with being a grown up.  I want to play more.  I want to eat ice-cream at the beach.  I want to be more concerned about my toe polish than my bank account.  I want to wear bright colors that remind me of crayons and finger paints.  I want to laugh until I snort and honk like a goose.  I want to sing in the grocery store and skip on my way out to the car.  I want to grow younger as I age and I don’t want to have to make excuses or be made to apologize for my actions.

      I want to feel that sense of gleefulness when we decide to go to the park.  I want to get excited when they announce new Saturday morning cartoon shows next fall.  I want to buy new sandals in every color and goofy sunglasses to match.  I want to lay on my side and roll down a hill of grass and wildflowers and not think once about grass stains or dirty smudges. 

      I want to love as if my heart has never been broken.  I want to give 100% without hesitating because it might not work out.  I want to run into old lovers and laugh for the joy of seeing an old friend.  I want to make love like it is still new forbidden territory.  I want to kiss with a giggle in my heart and a twinkle in my eye.

      I want to go back to school and learn fun new things, like how to dance and sing.  I want to learn about movies and ancient civilizations and hummingbirds and how to say “I love you” in three different languages.  I want to lose myself in books and not worry about book reports, homework, tests, or honor roll.  I want to sit in the front row fascinated by a smart and enthusiastic teacher.  I want to connect the dots and color outside of the lines.

      I want to build towers with blocks just to knock them down and watch them fall.  I want to make trails and paths with dominos and then gently tap that first one so the others will fall down one at a time.  I want to dress my cat in doll clothes, put him in an Easter basket, and drive him around on my bicycle in that basket swinging on the handlebars like when I was eight years old.  I want to roller skate and play hopscotch.

      I want to believe with all my heart that I could be an astronaut, a dancer, a rock star, or a racecar driver if I just set my mind to it.  I want a clean slate and all options still open.  I want to feel that hunger to aspire to something great.  I want to feel like I was put on this planet for a very special reason.  I want to assume that the world wants my gift as much as I want to give it.

      I want to trust strangers without giving it a second thought.  I want to believe that adults actually have all of the answers and our best interests at heart.  I want to feel safe and protected simply because my dad locked the front door before saying “goodnight.”  I want to feel the invincibility and cockiness of youth.  I want to believe in people’s potential despite their choices.  I want to assume that I can talk my way out of anything.

      I want a do-over with my first driving lesson, my first serious boyfriend, my first pregnancy, and my first job.  I promise this time I will be braver, more honest, smarter, and I won’t take anything for granted.  I want to feel the rush of all those firsts again.  I want to take more pictures this time.

      I want to nap in the sunshine and make whistles from wide pieces of grass.  I want to catch ladybugs and fireflies.  I want to tell ghost stories and suspect that they might come true.  I want to run with grass stained bare feet.  I want to get lost in make-believe and forget to go home for lunch.

      I want to learn how to do cartwheels, backwards somersaults, and handsprings.  I want to fall down with gusto and wear my wounds with pride.  I want to climb trees and hold my breath as the tree sways with the wind.  I want to play Dodge Ball and Four-Square and Duck Duck Goose.

      I want to go to birthday parties with balloons and streamers.  I want to look forward to growing another year older and tease my peers for being younger than me.  I want to receive frivolous toys and funny new hats instead of kitchen appliances and useful tools.  I want to spend weeks creating the perfect Halloween costume and I want to believe in Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and Peter Pan.

      I want to play Pong, Ms Pacman, and Donkey Kong.  I want to recite riddles and puns.  I want to know all the words to all those songs.  I want to play pool and ping-pong, croquet, and badminton.  I want to reread the Hobbit and Huckleberry Finn.  I want to watch Batman, Underdog, and the Little Rascals.

      Today I want to grow younger rather than wiser.  I want to play hooky, no bosses, no chores, and no bills.  I want to pull the kids out of school and run off to the zoo.  I want to play at the park and rhyme like Seuss.  I want to say “yes” to donuts and “no thank you” to lima beans.  I want to find a rainbow and chase a leprechaun.  I want to teach my children the fine art of puddle jumping and leapfrog.  I want to chase butterflies and make cookies.  I want to see life as my playground.  I want to believe in magic and love at first sight.  Fearless and brave I want to shout, “Gimme more!”  

      Copyright 2008, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge

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